Physical and mental weightlifting setbacks

Since getting ran over by a car I haven't been able to clean anything higher than %70 of my max. My snatch and jerks are still good. It's just my cleans that I'm struggling with. That leaves me contemplating..... Did I lose strength? Or is it some sort of a mental block? Perhaps a combination of both? I feel that if it's a loss of strength then it's not a problem. I'll rebuild my strength in no time. Muscles have memory. But unfortunately I feel it's some sort of mental block. Last night anytime I tried to clean over 105k I'd freak out once it was time for me to drop under the bar and I'd jump out of the way or push the bar away. I'm pretty sure the problem is in my head. Some sort of response to the trauma of having been ran over. And I have absolutely no idea how to handle this. Do I use lower weights until I start feeling comfortable dropping under the bar again? Or do I keep attempting to lift the heavy weights and force my way through it?

I've seen my weightlifting coach, Joaquin Chaves of High Dessert Athletic Club, do some pretty amazing things with his athletes. He's always able to coach his athletes through any problem they're having. Sometimes he focuses on form. Sometimes he talks them up using motivation. On occasion he'll even jump down one of his athletes throats, using hard coaching, or tough love. On some athletes who are particularly hard on themselves coach Chavez will always use positive and inspirational coaching. He seems to know each of his athletes and knows exactly what each one is capable of and how to get them there. 

Last night coach Chaves saw I was struggling and he had me drop down to 90k and build back up to 110. I missed 110 so he had me drop back down again. On the third time through this pattern he had me stop with the clean and jerks and had me move on to squats. I've never seen him do that before. He always found some way of coaching his athletes through whatever struggles their facing. But last night he somehow knew that the problems I was struggling with wasn't something that should be pushed through yet. That I was facing something more than a problem with my form or motivation. He just somehow knew addressing the issue again later was the best course of action. After last night I realized that I don't have to stress or worry about how I'm going to get through this. I have a great coach and mentor. All I have to do is show up and he'll figure out how to get me through this. I'm in great hands. 

self doubt in olympic weightlifting

After Sunday's weightlifting competition I was happy I'd made gains even though I'd struggled during training the last 4 months. But I still harbored a lot of self doubt. I've been afraid I should be at a much higher level than I am after doing this consistently for 11 straight months. I got tired of that fear hovering over me and my training and decided to ask a couple of really amazing local lifters, Will O'Connel out of Zia CrossFit and Randy Steward from Miller weightlifting, what their totals were after about a year, so that I could get a base line to compare. I was relieved to see I'm right there with their numbers.

Randy 12 months: 80/108/188
Me after 11 months: 79/103/183

Will 19 months: 75/100/175

Another outstanding lifter, Erik Hickey, told me recently ,"the most important thing to train in here (weightlifting gym) is our own self doubt." I am exactly where I should be after a year. I'm not falling behind at all. Now for the first time in this sport I believe in myself, I can put the fear and self doubt aside and throw myself into my training with full confidence.

My greatest ride, Sandia Hill climb!!

My cousin Greg came to visit from Lubbock TX. He said while he was here he wanted to climb to Sandia Peak. It's a 30 mile ride with 8'800 feet elevation gained and lost. I'd tried to climb Sandia once back in 2005 when I was training for the Silverman triathlon & it was a COMPLETE disaster. Today I climbed it with no problem at all!!! I felt great the entire ride.

I'd been invited to climb Sandia with friends a few times since 2005 & had always declined the invites. I was afraid to try that ride again. I've been afraid because of what a poor climber I knew I was. I realized I'm not the same caliber of an athlete as I was back in '05. My greatest fears as an endurance athlete was climbing, the Silverman triathlon, & the BSLT 70.3. I now realize I can do those feats! Those fears were based of a mental block that came from how I did when I 1st got into triathlon. But I now weigh 50 pounds less, I'm lighter, I'm stronger, I am smarter with my diet, & I train harder & more intelligently. I can do those things now. As a matter of a fact I can do GREAT at things like that now!

What's changed between that 5 year period that I struggled with my weight, my training, racing compared to what I can do now? I've turned more to God. In Him all things are possible. Philippians 4:13)
. He's blessing me because I've embraced Him.