Beast or broken?

The last 8 months I've really dedicated myself to nutrition and training. Anytime I've found a weakness I've trained that weakness until I became good at it. A couple weeks ago I was doing 40 meter dashes. I was fast, but I ended up being sore for almost a week. I realized I found a weakness. This morning I attempted more 40 meter sprints. On the 2nd sprint i pulled an abductor muscle. I've made great progress the last year. But I'm also a lot more breakable now that I'm in my 40's. I figure if I continue to push myself as hard as I have been I'll be a beast, or very broken.

Pulled pectoral update

I had pulled my pectoral muscle a little less than a month ago. My powerlifting coach Vernon Smith has been helping me to build up the weights on bench again while avoiding injury. Yesterday I built up to a set of 3 reps at 225lbs. It felt great. No pain and the weight felt easy.

Have I mentioned how much I love my powerlifting coach? Out of all the coaches I've ever had he's by far my favorite. And I've had a grip of coaches. Coaches in Football, track, jui-jitsue, triathlon, weightlifting, Powerlifting, and more. There has probably never been a more unlikely duo. I'm a hard core libertarian, he's a devout socialist. But he's accepting of our differences, is able to figure out the best plan for just about anything in regards to training. I've got a hell of a coach, I'm happy to have him.

Duration of diet causing injuries?

On Tuesday I was playing basketball with my two sons and when I went to drive to the basket I pulled my left calf. It wasn't a bad pull. It hurt, but not bad enough to limp when I walked. Today I completed a CrossFit workout at Bear Canyon CrossFit without any problems. A little less than a month ago I pulled my left pectoral muscle while benching. That's two muscle pulls in less than a month. I'm not sure what's going on with my body. I'm wondering if perhaps it's from being on a calorie defacit and loosing weight for so long or if it's just that I'm 42 years old now. I've lost 68lbs in the last 5 months. If it is from the weight loss and I continue to get injured I don't think I'd be willing to stop. I want to get down to 220lbs so bad I'd rather be chronically injured than continue to be obese. I don't think that's a healthy way to look at diet and working out. If I continue to drop weight at my current rate I'll be down to 220lbs by July. Hopefully once I get to my goal weight I'll be able to train without the injuries and make taking care of my body a priority

Chest injury

A couple weeks ago. I pulled a pectoral muscle. It wasn't a bad pull. But the last two weeks I've been having to lift with significantly lower weight and volume on bench. I'm talking 3X5 of 155lbs. Almost half of my max. Friday was the first day I was able to do dips since the injury occurred. I'm recovering quickly. Hopefully it won't be much longer until I can resume heavy bench training.

Poor performance and recovery

I've noticed I'm not making gains or recovering like I used to..... No matter how much I try to lose weight I can't..... Seems the harder I work the weaker and fatter I get..... I get night horrible sweats to the point the bed is soaked..... i expect some of these due to age but not this much. I finally broke down and went to see my doctor. Turns out I have very low testosterone..... I'm not sure what to think about this yet. I'm almost relieved that I finally have an actual reason that I'm feeling like this. I have an appointment with an endocrinologist this week. I'll keep y'all updated as I find things out.

Training through back injuries

I've been miserable not being able to work out since my back injury. So I tried some things this weekend. I tried weightlifting. Me back is definitely not ready for that yet. I tried going on a jog. I felt fine the first half mile, but after that my back started to ache and spasm. So I've been brain storming, trying to figure out what I can do. If I can run short distances but nothing over a half mile then how about sprints? Perhaps yoga would work well? There's a hot yoga studio next to my house owned by ex MMA fighter The Dean Of Mean Keith Jardine. I'm going to try both of those things this upcoming week to see if that can get me back into workout mode. Plus it would be cool to meet one of my favorite fighters of all time.

Don't move during acupuncture

My back was getting better. And then on Thursday after the acupuncturist put the needles in my back and left the room I had to adjust the pillow I was laying on. It was under my stomach and I was struggling to breath-that's a problem with guys who have big fat stomachs like me.  So I stood up and moved the pillow, then laid back down. Apparently that's a bad idea when you have needles jammed into your back muscles. My back muscles moved and flexed causing the needles to move, scrape, and tear. For three days it hurt so bad I struggled to walk, talk, or even breath. My next appointment is on Tuesday. I'll be still this time. You can count on it.

Acupuncture and back injuries

Awhile back someone crashed through a security gate at my work and ran me over. Since then I've been struggling with a lot of back pain. I had to give up Olympic style weightlifting. At least temporarily. Since then I've tried resting my back, training through the injury, and even physical therapy. Nothing helps. Last week I tried getting acupuncture. After only one treatment my back pain was cut in half. Today I received my 2nd treatment and I feel almost pain free. Worker's comp has authorized 6 treatments. I think it's possible I'll be back to normal soon with the acupuncture. Man what a difference!

Back injury

My back was hurting after getting ran over by a vehicle a couple weeks ago. At first it was just a nagging pain and I was able to train through it. But instead of getting better my back pain has gotten significantly worse. I started physical therapy to get this thing fixed.

Since I'm unable to train for weightlifting right now I keep thinking about world and Olympic weightlifting champion Norbert Schemanski. He had a dibilitating back injury that he worked through twice to set world records afterwards. My back is in a lot better shape than his was. So it shouldn't take long to get back into the weight room. That's my hope at least. Until then my sport will be walking with my wife and kids in the evenings.

training without coaches

I pulled a muscle in my back last week. Then today I woke up with a kink in my neck and my shoulder that's so bad I can barely move. I'm relatively certain it's because I had put on a tremendous amount of strength when I was working with my former nutrition coach Barry Schroeder. Now that I'm no longer having him help me with my nutrition I've been losing strength and explosiveness and I'm more injury prone. I flippin' miss working with him! He always got the best out of me.

I'll be moving to Albuquerque next month and I'm needing to find a place I can train at for the times I'm not able to drive all the way to Santa Fe to train with my team. 

On Sunday the family and I spent the night at my inlaws in Albuquerque NM and I had to find a place to train while I was there. I was also gym shopping. I called everywhere trying to find a gym that had drop plates, a bar that spinds, and is open on Sundays. There were none. But the owner of Iron Soul Gym told me he'd be willing to meet me at his gym on his day off to make sure I got my workout in. How cool was that?

It was so much different training without a coach and by myself. I'm used to training with a bunch of athlete's who also also love olympic style weightlifting. I missed the comeradery of the Miller Gym but the Iron Soul Gym was pretty awesome. It has 24 hour access, weights and bars that can be used for olympic style weightlifting, the membership is supet cheap, and the owner was super cool. I've found where I'm training at when I'm not able to drive to Santa Fe. The Iron Soul Gym.

pre-workout meal comparison and weightlifting belts

After trying every food imaginable I've found the food that gives me the most energy to sustain my energy through an entire weightlifting workout is white rice mixed 1/2 cup skim milk, sugar, and  one or two cups of coffee. After Thanksgiving I had a pumpkin pie and thought,  "this has lots of calories and is high in the glycemic index. I bet pumpkin pie will work great as a pre-workout meal!" Just in case your wondering,  pumpkin pie does not fuel an athlete well. Not only did I end up running out of energy half way through my workout, i felt like crap the rest of the day. And the pumpkin pie used so much of my daily allotment of carbs and fat that I was hungry the rest of the day. No bueno.

Every 4-6 weeks I tweak my back doing back squats. It's never an injury severe enough to make me miss training,  but it's serious enough to bug for a week of two while it heals up. I've tried everything to stop this from happening: changing my form, tightening my belt REALLY tight, squating slower.... nothing seemed to stop it. A few weeks ago I had to order a different weightlifting belt. The one i had been using the last couple years wasn't legal in powerlifting meets. Bada Bing bada bang, problem fixed! Turns out I was needing a different weightlifting belt. The one I'm using now gives my back perfect support!  I haven't had any problems at all since lifting with the new belt. It's an Ader 4 inch weightlifting belt. Its a miracle worker and a back saver!

There's a funny 105k+ story to go along with this belt. I ordered the belt based on their sizing chart. When I got it in the mail I thought they had to have sent me the wrong sized belt because this sucker was huge! I'm sure it would fit around two normal sized men twice with plenty of room to spare.  I started packing it in the box to return it and my wife said, "why don't you try it on so you know how much smaller of a belt you'll need to replace it with." Great idea! I tried it on, not only did it fit,  but if I was a half inch bigger around the belt would be to small. Ah, the life of a super heavy weight. Every day in the shoes of a 105k+ is an adventure!

week 3 with a sports nutrition coach

I started working with a sports nutrition coach almost 4 weeks ago. So far I've lost 4 pounds, which is amazing because my main goal is weightlifting performance. Of course I want to lose some fat, but only if it's done in a way that doesn't jeopardize performance. Also,  I started taking creatine monohydrate a little over a week ago. I usually gain at least 5 pounds when i start taking creatine. No weight gain this time. More importantly my clothes are fitting differently. They are tighter in the legs, chest, and shoulders, and looser in the waist. I feel like I'm healing quicker now from training than I was before. I'm sleeping better too. When I hired my nutrition coach he surprised me by keeping my calories the same. But he raised the amount of protein I'm eating- by a lot! Before I probably ate around 180 grams of protein a day. Now I'm eating close to 300. I'm averaging 125g of fat and 290g of carbohydrates on a non-training day. On training days my carbs go up to 400g and he has very specific directions on what I eat should before, during, and after training. I'm really happy i hired a nutrition coach. My only regret is not having done it a couple years ago. I'd have made more strength gains and I wouldn't have become as fat as I did.

I hurt my wrist weightlifting a week ago. Every time i lift it hurts a little worse. Of course I'm doing what any manly man does. I'm ignoring it, not telling anyone, hoping it'll get better on its own, and assuming that as long as I don't get it diagnosed that means nothings wrong with it. So far ignoring my wrist isn't working. So of course that means I haven't ignored it long enough or put enough effort in pretending nothings wrong.

injured weightlifters, a new weightlifting program, and a bench press program

There's a woman I train with named Chris Galvin. She's in the Olympic weightlifting hall of fame. After winning numerous national weightlifting championships (I'm talking 11 or 12!!!!) she had to have major shoulder surgery. For must people a surgery of that type would be a career ending surgery. But she's rehabbing her shoulder and slowly increasing the amount she lifts. Yesterday  i watched her doing some heavy snatches.  During every repetition I'd see her her grit her teeth or grunt in pain. I'm amazed at her determination to fight through the pain and do whatever it takes to get back to a high level of competition. I wish i was half as tough as she is. It's people like her that make it so motivating to train at The Miller Gym.

I'm one week into my new weightlifting program. It's hard. Awesome, but very hard.  I promised a couple of my buddies from church I'd compete in a N.A.S.A. powerlifting competition this December in Roswell New Mexico with them. So after each weightlifting training session I've been trying to do a bench program Coach Shane Miller built for me. The bench program is amazing,  I was getting great results from it, but by the end of my Olympic weightlifting session I'm too tired to bench. I'm not sure if i can follow through with the powerlifting meet. i desperately want to, but I just don't know if I'll have the energy to get through both. One of my life long dreams was to beat my natural fathers max bench press PR of 275lbs. Last year i did the program Coach Miller built for me and i got up to a 272lb max. So close! But just like now the Olympic weightlifting got intense and exhausted me so i just couldn't keep doing both. I'm hoping i can push through it, but it's not looking very promising.

back in training and the New Mexico games

Thanks to a vacation, illness, and a torn calf muscle yesterday was my first day training in over a month. Since it'd been so long since I'd lifted my coach had me lift light and with limited the sets. Snatches are mostly form so they were no problem, i was able to do the recommended weights and sets. For the  squat I built up to a relatively light weight of 115k. Even with the light weights my quads were exhausted and were cramping after the 2nd set. I also struggled at the end of my workout with push presses. Sets of 70k were no problem, buy anything more than that and my calf, which i tore a few weeks ago would hurt. Even though i went light I'm still SO SORE today!

It felt great getting back into the gym and training. i missed it so bad! I'm beyond grateful to whoever the anonymous person is that is helping finance me to get back into the gym.

I registered for the New Mexico state games last night. Hopefully my body will have recovered from my injuries and time off and I'll be back in shape by then. I'd like to break the state records at the New Mexico games that i had set earlier this year.

a torn calf muscle

On Saturday i was playing football and chase with my kids and i tore my calf muscle. It hurt like a son of a gun. At the time i couldn't walk without crutches. It's healing up so quickly it's unbelievable. I can walk with only a slight limp, barely noticeable. I'm going to work tonight. Yup, I'm going to work with a torn calf muscle. I love my job and i love the people i work with. I always feel guilty when i call in sick, like I'm abandoning them. Anyways, back to my injury, I'm pretty sure I'll be back to training in a few weeks or less.  The New Mexico state games is in July and I'm close to qualifying for the masters national championships. I need  to get back in the gym!

clean and jerk day

Today was the most strenuous day I've had of lifting. I did 5 sets of form work, then did 3 doubles of 89 kilos at the clean and jerk. 89 kilos is my PR clean and jerk, so getting 6 at 89k felt wonderful, but was also the hardest thing I've done thus far in olympic weightlifting. It was the first time I felt unsure if I'd be able to finish my workout. After the CJ's I completed 2X3 front squats at 104k. I left feeling beat, but wonderful. I celebrated by buying myself some pork ribs and strawberries. Not the best way to celebrate since I want to get down to  the 94k weight class, but they still tasted magnificent. Turns out success tastes even better!

My shoulder felt much better today. Through trial and error I've found that the faster I move my feet on the jerk the less my shoulder hurts. Imagine that! The better my form the less it hurts my body.

My wife passed a very difficult test in nursing school today. She passed with a 95%. In her entire class there were only 6 people who passed. Nursing school is getting difficult, but she's smart and capable. She'll continue to do great, I'm sure of it.

An old shoulder injury flaring up

Since the New Mexico games my right shoulder has been hurting after clean and jerk workouts. I couldn't figure out why until yesterday. Then I remembered my shoulder got separated in a cycling accident awhile ago. I've never had to train through an injury or pain while olympic training before. I'll keep you posted as I learn more about training under these conditions. This may be interesting.

Brain injury problems and the angels who make me feel undamaged

I've had a lot of the problems listed below since my brain injury. I used to be awesome in social situations. Now I usually can't follow the ebb and flow of the conversation or I say things that don't fit, then things get uncomfortable for everyone. I see it, I feel it, and it hurts. I'm a people person. I love being around people and talking to them. Since the brain injury I feel alone a lot. Even when I'm around people I feel alone. When I'm in a big group of people I've learned to not speak unless asked a question directly because the chances are high that I'll say something stupid and everyone around me will get that "What the heck" look in their eye.

There's very few people who are patient with people who have traumatic brain injuries. There's a couple people in my gym, Faith A. and Jodi S., who seems to roll with any of my out of sync comments and coversations. They make me feel normal. I get so happy when I see them at the gym. Talking to them is some of the rare times that I talk to someone and not have the conversation make me feel like I'm abnormal or an awkward person to be around. I try to minimize my conversations with them because I don't want them to feel overwhelmed when they see me in the gym. I mean seriously, why do people go to the gym? Is it to work out or yap with the chatty dude?

On this blog post I just wanted to vent about some of the problems I've been having for the last couple years and to say thanks for great people like Faith A. and Jodi S. who are angels here on earth who make me feel like I'm normal and undamaged..

Communication problems can cause persons with TBI to have difficulty understanding and expressing information in some of the following ways:
Difficulty thinking of the right word.
Trouble starting or following conversations or understanding what others say.
Rambling or getting off topic easily.
Difficulty with more complex language skills, such as expressing thoughts in an organized manner. Trouble communicating thoughts and feelings using facial expressions, tone of voice and body language (non-verbal communication).
Having problems reading others’ emotions and not responding appropriately to another person’s feelings or to the social situation.
Misunderstanding jokes or sarcasm.
They may lack awareness of social boundaries and others’ feelings, such as being too personal with people they don’t know well or not realizing when they have made someone uncomfortable.

back pain and improper weightlifting form

The last week my lower back has been hurting. I knew it had to be from improper lifting form, but I had no clue what I was doing wrong. I've been frustrated. Yesterday coach Jodi and coach Linda pointed out my starting position of the snatch was wrong. Since it was the starting position it meant I was putting undue stress on my lower back every set of the snatch, clean and jerk, and dead lift. After my workout I spent an hour practicing my starting position. I'm hoping I've fixed my form and that my back will stop hurting.

I love Olympic weightlifting, but I assumed I'd be better at it by now. It shouldn't be as difficult learning the form as I'm having. I don't know. Maybe the brain injury I suffered when I got ran over by a vehicle while cycling a couple years ago affected me a lot worse than I thought it did. Regardless, I'll keep training as hard as I can. I'll keep showing up. Eventually I'll learn. Perhaps not as quickly as I'd like, but I'll get there. If it's harder for me than it is for others, then I'll be more grateful than everyone else once I get there right?

After I was done lifting Barry Schroeder pulled me aside and gave me some great advise about staying positive and enjoying the sport. It was wonderful advise and I was grateful.

midlife crisis, depression, and brain injuries

The last year and a half I've been burnt with triathlons. I'm no longer obsessed. No longer driven beyond all reason. Now that I look back at all the time spent cycling, running, swimming, racing, and the tens of thousands of dollars I spent on traveling, hotels, equipment, and race entries I realize triathlon was my midlife crisis. In some ways my family and I got off easy compared to other men. My family is still together, thriving actually. There's been no infidelities. Even at the peak of my obsession my wife and kids were still my #1 priority. But in other ways I feel like I'm in a worse place than the other men who had the same life altering temporary retardation. It appears to me like the men who go through a mid life crisis come out of it having learned a lot about themselves. I didn't seem to have gained the same emotional maturity. I feel lost. Depressed. When I look in the mirror I don't recognize myself. When I look in the mirror this is who I expect to see:

The muscular weight lifter,

or the skinny endurance athlete,

Below is who I actually see. This is what I look like now. Fat, bald, unhappy with myself. I mean seriously, how can my lovely wife enjoy being with someone who looks like this? I'm disgusting!

In the last couple weeks I've come to realize that my depressed state has nothing to do with me losing interest in triathlon. This depression has been here since I got ran over by a vehicle while cycling back in Sept 2011. I suffered a traumatic brain injury. Once or twice a month I still get depressed for a week or two. During that time the only thing I find that can make me feel half way normal is eating. I cant find the energy to workout or to be sociable. After a week or two I feel normal again but the depression always comes back. I still lose things and get lost. Conversation and connecting with people is hard for me now. It's like there's a flow that everyone can see and follows while communicating, I cant find it, much less follow it. I'm awkward to be around. I say things that don't fit what everyone else is talking about. Consequently I don't associate with others as much as I used to. When I do I've learned to try and keep my mouth shut to avoid the all too common awkward moments that seem to happen every time I open my mouth. Consequently I'm lonely. I'm still frequently depressed. I often times cant remember how to do things I used to be able to, such as my job; which is scary because I work in a prison and peoples lives are in my hands.

Things have improved since the accident. The first 9 months after the accident I didn't want to be around anyone EVER! Not even my wife and kids. Now I want to be around them, I'm just a social buffoon. I was easily angered, constantly depressed, all I could think about was suicide.Although I'm not that bad now I still don't feel like myself. Will I ever go back to the person I was before? I miss that person. So does my friends and family. I have an appointment with my primary doctor on May 8th. I've brought these problems up to him before and he's dismissed them saying, "it takes time for the brain to recover", or, "you might not ever get those things back." I've done some research and have found that there is help for people who suffer from brain injuries. I'm not leaving my doctors office until he refers me to a specialist who can help me, because I'm finally willing to admit that I need help.