facebook and blogging

I used to have all my blog posts connected to my facebook account. It helped increase the amounts of hits my blog received. That used to be important because I used to be a sponsored athlete. My speed at triathlons and higher hit count on my blog made it easier to get sponsors. Now that I'm fat and slow so I'm not worried about sponsorship. What I'm most interested in now is for my blog to be a a place I can write about the training, diet, races, family, and God honestly without feeling the need to hold things back in my blog posts. I was especially sensitive to my high school friends seeing and reading how fat I am now. Now that my blog is no longer connected to my Facebook page I'll feel more comfortable writing honestly about the stuff in my life.

saffron extract

Todat I started taking saffron extract to help get rid of my hunger and lose weight. Yesterday I weighed in at 264, I'd like to get to 240 pounds by the Nutcracker triathlon held in early Dec 2013 in Rio Rancho New Mexico. 24 pounds in 15 weeks should be easy. But then again if food wasn't such a struggle for me I'd never have got up to 264 pounds.

Olympic weight lifting and CrossFit

My wife has been a full time student since 2007, and we have 3 kids. The 5 of us has been living off my income since then. I've been working a ton the last 6 years. Usually 70-90 hours a week. Recently overtime at the prison I work at has slowed down. It's been a blessing in disguise. Although its been difficult for the 5 of us to adjust our lifestyles enough to live off of my base pay, I'm glad this has happened because I'm burned out working so many hours. I want to be home more.

One of the things I've had to do to live on less money was cancel my CrossFit membership. That sucks because I've really fallen in love with CrossFit and the people I work out with.

I was training for my first olympic weight lifting at my CrossFit gym, so unfortunately I won't be competing in the September and November olympic weight lifting competition. Now that I've had to stop CrossFit and Olympic weight lifting I'm going to start training for triathlons again.

olympic weightlifting training

When I first started triathlon training back in 2003 I was the worst runner in the history of triathlon! I kept at until eventually I was a great runner.  This week is my first week of olympic weightlifting. So far I'm just as bad at olypic weight lifting as I used to be at running, perhaps worse. My first olympic weightlifting competition is on September 7th. It's not going to be pretty, but I'll have something to look back at to see how far I've come.

Today I did:
Mid hang snatch- 5X3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyRPreXI7mo)

Halting snatch deadlift + finish (hip)- 5X3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMyC5AQ7ybo

back squat- 3X8

bench 3X5

While I was training at the corrections academy my wife sustained her first CrossFit injury. She dropped a 45 pound weight on her toe during warm up, and she still completed the WOD!

the void is filled

After almost 2 years of searching for something to fill the spot of triathlon I've finally found something I'm excited about. I'm going to try my hand at olympic weightlifting! My 1st event will be in Sept. The competition in September I'm doing just for fun. I wont be trying to throw around big weights or impress anyone. I'll just be trying to get some experience and have some fun. My 2nd olympic weightlifting competition will be held in early November. Not only will I be taking the 2nd event more seriously, I'm hoping to no longer be a super heavy weight. I need to weight 105 kilograms or less to no longer be a super heavy weight, which means I need to lose 32 pounds in just over 3 months. I started my diet yesterday.

Wish me luck!

gains and losses

Yesterday I went to the corrections academy gym with a buddy of mine. We maxed on our bench and squat. In the last 3 weeks I've added 20 pounds to my bench and 30 pounds to my squat! After the strength work we did a WOD. It was as many reps as possible in 16 min of:
1 min power cleans
1 min sit ups
1 min dips
1 min DB thrusters

I completed 178 reps. It was a good day.

vacation and never shaving again!

A few days ago my family and I got back from visiting my family in Lubbock Texas. We love it there. Once I retire from the state and my wife graduates from nursing school we are going to move there. We found our dream home in Lubbock at 6105 Knoxville Dr. Obviosly it will have sold by the time I retire (1 year 11 months from now), but we'll buy a house in the same neighborhood.  We had a great time. To good aparently. I came back weighing 261 pounds. My 20 year high school reunion in next summer. Time to get my fat butt on a diet. My goal is 200 lbs by my reunion.

I jioned the military at the age of 17, then became a manager at a pet shop, then started a career at the State Pennitentiary. I've had to stay clean shaven at each of those jobs. After years of having to stay clean shaven my dream has come true!!!! The NM State Pennitentiary has changed it's shaving policy!! We are allowed to grow beards and goatees now!!!! This is the results of me growing my beard for 3 days. I'm never shaving again!!!!

Buffalo Springs Lake triathlon 2013 new course recod and 2014 registration

I was here in Lubbock Texas the weekend of the BSLT 70.3 triathlon ( I didn't race). It was a perfect day for a triathlon. It was under 90 degrees, there was clouds in the sky blocking the sun, and there was no wind- the year I raced the BSLT it got close to 110 degrees! This was the 24th year of the BSLT and Gregg Bennett broke the course record with a screaming fast time of 3:48:58.

 

Next year will be the 25th year of the BSLT and they are having a special on the registration.

25th Anniversary Special: Enter for 2014 by July 3 for only $199!
We’re turning 25 in 2014! To kick off the anniversary celebrations, we are offering an exclusive 25^th Anniversary Entry Special. Enter the password BSL25 to unlock the Early Bird Special category rate.
We know it’s a year out, but we also know it’s going to be one heck of a celebration! The 25^thAnniversary experience will feature:

• Unique Finisher Awards for every IRONMAN 70.3 finisher
• The Golf Course Hill is back! The hill you love to hate is making a comeback.
• 40 age group slots & 3 Hancycle slots to the 2014 IRONMAN 70.3 World Championship in Mont -Tremblant , 3 Handcycle slots to IRONMAN WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS IN KONA, HI
• 25^th Anniversary Finisher Shirt
• 25^th Anniversary Participant Back PackCommit to 2014, and enter online for a great deal on an amazing IRONMAN 70.3 experience!

CrossFit box's in Lubbock Texas and a proper cool down

While visiting family here in Lubbock Texas I wanted to visit a CrossFit box. There were 7 to choose from:

Flatland CrossFit
CrossFit Throne
CrossFit Wild West
CrossFit Paladin
Capstone CrossFit
Compass CrossFit
Hubbcity CrossFit

I googled reviews for each CrossFit box. There was only 1 review for all 7 box’s, it was on Yelp. It was for CapStone CrossFit and it had an excellent review.

Next I called all 7 box’s and asked what the drop in policy and fees were.

-Hubbcity CF and Paladin CF didn't answer their phone, I left a couple messages with the questions I had but they never returned my calls.

-Flatland CF and CF Wild West was $15 for my wife, $15 for myself ($30 total) for the entire time I was visiting Lubbock, or the purchase of a shirt ($20).

-CF Throne was $20 per day per weekday visit, Saturdays workout was offered free. $80 for the 3 days for my wife and I.

-Capstone CF was $13 per day per person $78 for my wife and for all 3 days.

-And Compass CF said if I was a member of a box anywhere else in the world we could attend their box for free as long as I was visiting Lubbock.

We chose Compass CrossFit. My cousin Greg went with me the first day. Even though he wasn’t a member of a box anywhere else they still let him workout for free. The members were extremely friendly and welcoming, the workout was great, and the trainer (Tim) was friendly and informative. He took the time to explain the workout, the proper form of all the exercises before the workout began. He spent some extra time explaining things to my cousin since he was a CF virgin.

Compass CrossFit had a couple things I'd never seen before, their clock not only had a timer but also tracked the rounds completed. Post workout the gym members kept track of their workouts on wodify, I'd always tracked my workouts old school on a pad of paper. I like the idea of my WOD being recorded online where I can look at it anytime or compare previous workouts. I think once I get home I'm going to start an account with Wodify.

After the workout they had all of us do a cool down 400 meter jog. I've been wanting to start doing a cool down on my own post WOD. Instead of stopping completely from an intense aerobic or strength training session it is very important to slow down gradually for about 5 minutes or longer. Cooling down prevents venous pooling when coronary blood flow demand is very high. In other words the heart is a very a efficient pump, its great at pushing blood to the areas being worked out. But the heart can only push blood. Of course, if you've pumped blood up to the brain, gravity will bring it back to the heart. But what about the blood in your legs, how does it get back to the heart? Not so obvious, is it? It's almost a design flaw. There ought to be two extra sub-hearts, one in each foot, to return blood to the main heart. What happens instead is that the muscles act as mini hearts. Each time a muscle contracts it pushes blood out of it and into your veins. And here's why you need to "cooldown." If you've been out running or doing a WOD, a lot of blood has been directed down to your leg muscles to support your running. If you stop exercising and just stand there or decide to sit in a chair, the muscles stop contracting. The pooled blood just stagnates there and the blood volume available for the rest of your body reaches dangerously low levels. There are some people, myself included who believe that not cooling down sufficiently over time can damage the heart. So I need to start cooling down, I haven't been. And then in theory after my cool down I should stretch. I should, but I never stretch. Never will.

body weight matters in CrossFit

When I started training for triathlons I learned the best way to get fast is to lose weight. When I was overweight no matter how much and how hard I trained my fitness couldn't make up for the loss of speed because of the extra weight I carried. I've found out getting fat slows down a CrossFit athlete just as much. Not that long ago I'd gotten to the point that I was doing every WOD with the RX and finishing quickly. I was completing the WOD with a fast enough time that I was going to start adding more weight than the RX. But then I fell off the diet wagon and gained a crap load of weight. I'm was still working out consistently, but the weight gain has slowed me down much worse than I had imagined it could. I'm back to having to do each workout below the RX and finishing close to last every class. Dang it, body weight matters in CrossFit too.
 
"It is no disgrace to start all over. It is usually an opportunity. "George M. Adams

The 2013 Santa Fe triathlon

A few weeks after I came to grip with, and announced that I'm retiring from multisport the Santa Fe triathlon registration opened. The Santa Fe triathlon and the Atomic Man duathlon are two races I try to never miss. So even though I'm officially retired from triathlon I've registered and will be racing the Santa Fe triathlon on September 21st. Just call me Brett Favre....

not competing in the the Angel Fire ultra trail run and family stuff

I've been wanting to compete in the Angel Fire 50 kilometer trail run for a very long time. I signed up earlier this year expecting that the race would motivate me to start running again. It didn't. I doubt I've ran a total of 30 miles in the last 21 months and I'm tipping the scales at 250, so unfortunately I wont be running in the Angel Fire 50K. That's ok, the longer it takes me to earn an ultra endurance trail run belt buckle the more I'll appreciate it when I do.

On a more personal note, I hadn't heard from my natural father since I was 13. A while back I found him and we rekindled our relationship. For a little over a year everything was beyond perfect. He went camping with my family, called me multiple times a week, and visited every few months. He was the father I'd always wanted him to be. It was wonderful feeling accepted by a parent, that's not something I've had much of in my life. Then just as suddenly as the last time, he disappeared. He turned his back on me while I was going through a really hard time. The timing wasn't his fault, but it still made things much more difficult for me to deal with. In that same month I'd ended my relationship with my mother. She has borderline personality disorder. Severing ties with my Mom hurt deeply even though it was best for both of us. That same month I found out my step 1st (of 3) step Dad who raised me from the age of 2 to age 15 had died. He was an alcoholic and he and my Mom had a horribly abusive relationship, but he was a great father to me. For years I desperately wanted to find him and tell him how grateful I was for all he had done for me and taught me. To tell him at least one more time that I loved him. I never got that chance. I found out he died living alone and in poverty. The conditions he was living in the last years of his life horrified me, riddled me with guilt. Anyways, back to my natural father. I had called and sent letters with no response. After almost 6 months of not hearing from him, not knowing if he'd died or if I'd done something wrong he sent me a letter that said he couldn't be in contact with me because he was on vacation. A few months more of not hearing from him and I get another letter claiming he had high cholesterol and the only way for him to get the numbers down was if he cut me out of his life. I would have been OK if he decided not to be in my life and was honest about the reason, but him feeding me a line of bull shit made the whole situation hurt much more than it needed to. A few days ago, approximately a year and a half after he severed our relationship he sent me a fathers day card and in it he was honest about his reasoning. Reading that letter helped me heal a lot. He told me the truth, and that was what I needed to be able to find closure. I'm so grateful for his honesty. You might be asking what the heck that has to do with fitness and me getting back to an ideal body weight? I hold everything in, refusing to allow myself to feel. When the emotions become too overwhelming to hide from I numb the pain with food. I'm hoping now that I've found closure with my natural father I'll be able to start eating to live rather than living to eat.

 

Just in case your wondering, I don't regret having had the parents I did. The things I went through, the abuse and piss poor parenting I had was the catalyst that made me into the family man I am today. I'm a darn good Dad and a grateful husband. If it wasn't for what I had gone through as a kid I wouldn't fully appreciate the healthy relationship I have with my wife and the joy I find in my kids. It's as if I'm reliving the childhood through my family I wish I had experienced. Life is wonderful, I'm happier than I ever dreamed I could be.

post triathlon

To be able to stay active, eating healthy, and motivated I need to feel like I'm an athlete. Since I retired from multisport I feel like I've been a lazy fat bum. I didn't have an athletic goal to keep me dedicated. Since I wasn't motivated by any particular goal I have been eating like crap and not working out. I missed 3 weeks of CrossFit. I'm back up to 250 pounds. Damn it! This weekend my prayers were answered and I have found a goal that motivates me. My goal is to continue to build overall fitness and losing weight by doing CrossFit 5 days a week while working out on my own to get a 350 pound squat, a 275 pound bench press, and a body weight of 219 by my birthday on November 18th. My body builds strength fairly easily so I should be able to reach this goal somewhat easily, especially with the strength training plan BJ, the owner of Zia CrossFit, has designed for me. I'm excited to be back into athlete mode once again.

to race or not to race

I've spent a lot of time thinking weather or not I want to get back to hard core triathlon training. I assumed training for and racing at the duathlon national championships would give me the motivation I needed, it hasn't. I really have no desire what so ever to train for endurance athletics, I don't even enjoy racing anymore to be honest.  I might race an occasional local race for fun, but that's it. I'm retiring from competitive multisport. I'm going to focus on CrossFit for awhile. I really enjoy CrossFit. The workouts, environment, and people are awesome. The owners of Zia CrossFit have even taken the time to help me with my diet and a training plan to accomplish my goal of beating my natural fathers bench press PR. The only negative about CF I can think of is my fault. I need to fix my form on dead lifts. Every time I do them my lower back hurts for weeks. I did a max dead lift yesterday and I can barely stand up straight today.

2013 national duathlon championships

A few weeks ago I had decided to retire from multisport..... Today I received an email from USA triathlon stating that I had earned a spot to the 2013 National Duathlon Championships while racing at the Atomic Man duathlon earlier this year. This is the 7th time I've earned a spot to a national championships race, the first time I'd earned a spot in duathlon. Now I'm not sure if I should hang up the cycling shoes now or wait until after the 2013 National Duathlon Championships....... Not an easy decision.....

If I decide to race the duathlon national championships I need to get busy training and losing some serious weight. I'm currently weighing 240 pounds and haven't biked consistantly for over a year and a half.....

The 2013 Jay Benson triathlon canceled

I received an email from New Mexico online that the Jay Benson triathlon has been canceled. Las Alamos and the Jay Benson triathlon were tied as the oldest continually held triathlons in New Mexico. This year would have been the 41st year for each. That title will be held exclusively by the Las Alamos triathlon.

IMPORTANT!!!! The race director of the Jay Benson will not automatically refund your race entry. They will ONLY be issuing refunds if you show up IN PERSON to Sport Sytems on Montgomery in Albuquerque NM before May 31st!

This was the info I pulled off of the NM online website.

Jay Benson Triathlon Cancelled
Regrettably, due to the Boston Marathon incident and the resulting heightened security at Kirtland AFB, last minute security requirements for civilian entry to the Base have left us no alternative but to cancel the Jay Benson Triathlon.
First and foremost, we would like to thank Kirkland Air Force Base for its longstanding support of the Jay Benson Triathlon. This triathlon would never have been as successful as it has become without the support and help of the Base. We’d like to especially thank the team at the pool. They’ve been great to work with through the years.
We began the permitting process in early November 2012 and, initially, the requirements for participant’s and their friend’s and family’s access to the base remained the same as in years past. We collected names and the last four of the social security numbers and submitted the list in a timely manner as instructed. However, the requirements of the Base over the last two weeks changed several times. We were also told to collect dates of birth from everyone. Many people worked diligently through email and phone calls to obtain the additional information and we resubmitted the list by the required deadline.
The latest requirements were numerous. Unfortunately, there were two requirements that we couldn’t comply with. One was that we now needed full name with middle initial, date of birth, full social security number, drivers license number and state of issue. The Base was going to do full background checks on everyone. We simply could not obtain this information by the deadline imposed. Also, many people were uncomfortable giving us all their personal information. We are a retail store and we are not set up to securely obtain and protect everyone’s personal information.
The other requirement that we didn’t think we could comply with was that we needed to change entry gates and get everyone through the gate between 6 and 7:30AM. Based on previous years experience, we believe we could only get a little over half the cars into the event during the allotted time.
We understand that the Base just wants to secure the Base and keep everyone safe. We worked diligently and complied with all the new requirements over the last six months. Unfortunately, the recent requirements were impossible to achieve.
We are greatly saddened and disappointed in canceling this event. We did everything in our power to save this event and express our deepest apologies to the triathlon community and guests for this unfortunate outcome. Sport Systems wants to extend a special thank you to Angie and the Chasing 3 team for everything they’ve done to save this event. It was an unbelievable effort they’ve put in the last two weeks to save the event. Every effort will be made to continue the Jay Benson tradition at a different venue next year.
Many of you received a $10 gift card from us at the Kickoff Party at Sport Systems. Please keep that as a gift from us.
REFUND OPTIONS:
Beginning Monday, May 6, Sport Systems will be offering refunds in the following manners:
1. You can roll your entry fee into next year’s event (location yet to be determined).*
2. You can have your refund in the form of a store credit. Please consider this option to help offset the significant losses that have occurred.*
3. We can issue you a full refund in the method in which you paid.*
4. You can donate your registration fee to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. You can write it off as a donation on your taxes. Our hope is that the charity doesn’t suffer due to the Base security changes and your donation would be greatly appreciated. This option requires no action. We will assume by a non-response that your registration fees will be automatically considered a donation.
*FOR THE FIRST THREE REFUND OPTIONS, YOU MUST COME INTO SPORT SYSTEMS BEFORE MAY 31st, 2013. Full refund includes one-day USAT licenses, if applicable. Sorry, we are not able to refund annual USAT membership fees. If you paid through nmsportsonline.com, you will still need to come into Sport Systems for the first three refund options. Refunds will not be offered through nmsportsonline.com or your credit card company.
Please help spread the word by telling your fellow triathlete friends and family to confirm all have seen and opened this email.
Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience canceling the Jay Benson Triathlon has caused. We realize many of our triathletes have been training for this race for months and some are traveling from long distances.
Sincerely,
Duane Kinsley
Sport Systems
Owner

midlife crisis, depression, and brain injuries

The last year and a half I've been burnt with triathlons. I'm no longer obsessed. No longer driven beyond all reason. Now that I look back at all the time spent cycling, running, swimming, racing, and the tens of thousands of dollars I spent on traveling, hotels, equipment, and race entries I realize triathlon was my midlife crisis. In some ways my family and I got off easy compared to other men. My family is still together, thriving actually. There's been no infidelities. Even at the peak of my obsession my wife and kids were still my #1 priority. But in other ways I feel like I'm in a worse place than the other men who had the same life altering temporary retardation. It appears to me like the men who go through a mid life crisis come out of it having learned a lot about themselves. I didn't seem to have gained the same emotional maturity. I feel lost. Depressed. When I look in the mirror I don't recognize myself. When I look in the mirror this is who I expect to see:

The muscular weight lifter,

or the skinny endurance athlete,

Below is who I actually see. This is what I look like now. Fat, bald, unhappy with myself. I mean seriously, how can my lovely wife enjoy being with someone who looks like this? I'm disgusting!

In the last couple weeks I've come to realize that my depressed state has nothing to do with me losing interest in triathlon. This depression has been here since I got ran over by a vehicle while cycling back in Sept 2011. I suffered a traumatic brain injury. Once or twice a month I still get depressed for a week or two. During that time the only thing I find that can make me feel half way normal is eating. I cant find the energy to workout or to be sociable. After a week or two I feel normal again but the depression always comes back. I still lose things and get lost. Conversation and connecting with people is hard for me now. It's like there's a flow that everyone can see and follows while communicating, I cant find it, much less follow it. I'm awkward to be around. I say things that don't fit what everyone else is talking about. Consequently I don't associate with others as much as I used to. When I do I've learned to try and keep my mouth shut to avoid the all too common awkward moments that seem to happen every time I open my mouth. Consequently I'm lonely. I'm still frequently depressed. I often times cant remember how to do things I used to be able to, such as my job; which is scary because I work in a prison and peoples lives are in my hands.

Things have improved since the accident. The first 9 months after the accident I didn't want to be around anyone EVER! Not even my wife and kids. Now I want to be around them, I'm just a social buffoon. I was easily angered, constantly depressed, all I could think about was suicide.Although I'm not that bad now I still don't feel like myself. Will I ever go back to the person I was before? I miss that person. So does my friends and family. I have an appointment with my primary doctor on May 8th. I've brought these problems up to him before and he's dismissed them saying, "it takes time for the brain to recover", or, "you might not ever get those things back." I've done some research and have found that there is help for people who suffer from brain injuries. I'm not leaving my doctors office until he refers me to a specialist who can help me, because I'm finally willing to admit that I need help.

The 2013 Atomic Man duathlon race report

I competed in the Atomic Man Duathlon this morning to make up for being a no show last week at the Spring Fling triathlon. This was my 84th multisport race, and my 20th duathlon.

The Atomic Man duathlon is my favorite race of all time! This was the 8th time I competed in this race, and this year it was a qualifier for the duathlon national championships. Last year there was a couple pro's and an Olympic duathlete who showed for this race. The RD's go all out to make sure everyone has a fantastic time. They had a ton of stuff in the race packet bags from performance t-shirts, chap stick, gels, bars, water bottles, coupons, honey, wet suit bags, & those re-usable shopping bags, and pro photographers throughout the course! They have the most comfortable timing chip straps I've ever seen at a race! They also had more swag than I've ever seen in a non-Iron distance race! Ruby helmets, Ruby sunglasses, gift certificates to tri sports, gift certificates to a local bike shop. they had free coffee (5 gallons worth), gluten free sandwiches, organic meat, organic veggies, organic bread, fruit, many other things.

The race is a run/ bike/ run format. The first run I completed having kept an 8:58 minutes per mile average. The bike is a very difficult and MOUNTAINOUS course, but I still kept a 15.5 mph average, which suprised me since I'm weighing in over 230 right now. The 2nd run I kept a 9:15 minute per mile average. I finished the race 1st place Clydesdale, 18th place overall.

RX all week, and updating my goals

This week was the 1st week in 14 weeks of training at a CrossFit gym that I've been able to do the RX on every workout. Yesterday I was even able to do all the toes to bars, I never had to scale down to knees to elbows, which up until yesterday I had to do after 5 reps of toes to bars. Next step is being able to do a hand stand push up......

Just to keep my goal list updated, I'll post my 3 biggest goals here.
1) I want to get to 198 pounds at %10 body fat.

2) When I was a kid my natural father's max bench press PR was 265. I remember being so impressed. I thought he was amazing! My new and exciting goal is to beat his bench press PR. When I'm ready to beat it I'm going to take my babies to the gym to watch me just like my Dad did with me.

3) be able to do a handstand push up.

P.S. Mona, thank you for the encouragement. I'm very grateful.

Jeremy, benchmark at RX

A few days ago I stopped dieting and started eating enough to maintain my weight. Apparently more calories was EXACTLY what my body was needing. Today before CrossFit started I did some push ups and pull ups. I do this daily since those are 2 of the  things I'm weakest at. I was able to crank out a lot more pull ups and push ups than I've ever been able to do, a lot more! Once class started we did the workout called "Jeremy" which is reps of 21-15- then 9 of overhead squats and burpees. Jeremy is a  a CrossFit benchmark workout, and up until today I had never been able to do the RX (recommended weight)of a benchmark workout. Today I did the RX for the 1st time! I was very stoked! I was really close to busting out in a happy white boy dance!