May 30, 2013

2013 national duathlon championships

A few weeks ago I had decided to retire from multisport..... Today I received an email from USA triathlon stating that I had earned a spot to the 2013 National Duathlon Championships while racing at the Atomic Man duathlon earlier this year. This is the 7th time I've earned a spot to a national championships race, the first time I'd earned a spot in duathlon. Now I'm not sure if I should hang up the cycling shoes now or wait until after the 2013 National Duathlon Championships....... Not an easy decision.....

If I decide to race the duathlon national championships I need to get busy training and losing some serious weight. I'm currently weighing 240 pounds and haven't biked consistantly for over a year and a half.....

May 06, 2013

The 2013 Jay Benson triathlon canceled

I received an email from New Mexico online that the Jay Benson triathlon has been canceled. Las Alamos and the Jay Benson triathlon were tied as the oldest continually held triathlons in New Mexico. This year would have been the 41st year for each. That title will be held exclusively by the Las Alamos triathlon.

IMPORTANT!!!! The race director of the Jay Benson will not automatically refund your race entry. They will ONLY be issuing refunds if you show up IN PERSON to Sport Sytems on Montgomery in Albuquerque NM before May 31st!

This was the info I pulled off of the NM online website.

Jay Benson Triathlon Cancelled
Regrettably, due to the Boston Marathon incident and the resulting heightened security at Kirtland AFB, last minute security requirements for civilian entry to the Base have left us no alternative but to cancel the Jay Benson Triathlon.

First and foremost, we would like to thank Kirkland Air Force Base for its longstanding support of the Jay Benson Triathlon. This triathlon would never have been as successful as it has become without the support and help of the Base. We’d like to especially thank the team at the pool. They’ve been great to work with through the years.
We began the permitting process in early November 2012 and, initially, the requirements for participant’s and their friend’s and family’s access to the base remained the same as in years past. We collected names and the last four of the social security numbers and submitted the list in a timely manner as instructed. However, the requirements of the Base over the last two weeks changed several times. We were also told to collect dates of birth from everyone. Many people worked diligently through email and phone calls to obtain the additional information and we resubmitted the list by the required deadline.
The latest requirements were numerous. Unfortunately, there were two requirements that we couldn’t comply with. One was that we now needed full name with middle initial, date of birth, full social security number, drivers license number and state of issue. The Base was going to do full background checks on everyone. We simply could not obtain this information by the deadline imposed. Also, many people were uncomfortable giving us all their personal information. We are a retail store and we are not set up to securely obtain and protect everyone’s personal information.
The other requirement that we didn’t think we could comply with was that we needed to change entry gates and get everyone through the gate between 6 and 7:30AM. Based on previous years experience, we believe we could only get a little over half the cars into the event during the allotted time.
We understand that the Base just wants to secure the Base and keep everyone safe. We worked diligently and complied with all the new requirements over the last six months. Unfortunately, the recent requirements were impossible to achieve.
We are greatly saddened and disappointed in canceling this event. We did everything in our power to save this event and express our deepest apologies to the triathlon community and guests for this unfortunate outcome. Sport Systems wants to extend a special thank you to Angie and the Chasing 3 team for everything they’ve done to save this event. It was an unbelievable effort they’ve put in the last two weeks to save the event. Every effort will be made to continue the Jay Benson tradition at a different venue next year.
Many of you received a $10 gift card from us at the Kickoff Party at Sport Systems. Please keep that as a gift from us.
Beginning Monday, May 6, Sport Systems will be offering refunds in the following manners:
1. You can roll your entry fee into next year’s event (location yet to be determined).*
2. You can have your refund in the form of a store credit. Please consider this option to help offset the significant losses that have occurred.*
3. We can issue you a full refund in the method in which you paid.*
4. You can donate your registration fee to the Juvenile Diabetes Research Foundation. You can write it off as a donation on your taxes. Our hope is that the charity doesn’t suffer due to the Base security changes and your donation would be greatly appreciated. This option requires no action. We will assume by a non-response that your registration fees will be automatically considered a donation.
*FOR THE FIRST THREE REFUND OPTIONS, YOU MUST COME INTO SPORT SYSTEMS BEFORE MAY 31st, 2013. Full refund includes one-day USAT licenses, if applicable. Sorry, we are not able to refund annual USAT membership fees. If you paid through, you will still need to come into Sport Systems for the first three refund options. Refunds will not be offered through or your credit card company.
Please help spread the word by telling your fellow triathlete friends and family to confirm all have seen and opened this email.
Please accept our apologies for any inconvenience canceling the Jay Benson Triathlon has caused. We realize many of our triathletes have been training for this race for months and some are traveling from long distances.
Duane Kinsley
Sport Systems

May 02, 2013

midlife crisis, depression, and brain injuries

The last year and a half I've been burnt with triathlons. I'm no longer obsessed. No longer driven beyond all reason. Now that I look back at all the time spent cycling, running, swimming, racing, and the tens of thousands of dollars I spent on traveling, hotels, equipment, and race entries I realize triathlon was my midlife crisis. In some ways my family and I got off easy compared to other men. My family is still together, thriving actually. There's been no infidelities. Even at the peak of my obsession my wife and kids were still my #1 priority. But in other ways I feel like I'm in a worse place than the other men who had the same life altering temporary retardation. It appears to me like the men who go through a mid life crisis come out of it having learned a lot about themselves. I didn't seem to have gained the same emotional maturity. I feel lost. Depressed. When I look in the mirror I don't recognize myself. When I look in the mirror this is who I expect to see:

The muscular weight lifter,

or the skinny endurance athlete,

Below is who I actually see. This is what I look like now. Fat, bald, unhappy with myself. I mean seriously, how can my lovely wife enjoy being with someone who looks like this? I'm disgusting!

In the last couple weeks I've come to realize that my depressed state has nothing to do with me losing interest in triathlon. This depression has been here since I got ran over by a vehicle while cycling back in Sept 2011. I suffered a traumatic brain injury. Once or twice a month I still get depressed for a week or two. During that time the only thing I find that can make me feel half way normal is eating. I cant find the energy to workout or to be sociable. After a week or two I feel normal again but the depression always comes back. I still lose things and get lost. Conversation and connecting with people is hard for me now. It's like there's a flow that everyone can see and follows while communicating, I cant find it, much less follow it. I'm awkward to be around. I say things that don't fit what everyone else is talking about. Consequently I don't associate with others as much as I used to. When I do I've learned to try and keep my mouth shut to avoid the all too common awkward moments that seem to happen every time I open my mouth. Consequently I'm lonely. I'm still frequently depressed. I often times cant remember how to do things I used to be able to, such as my job; which is scary because I work in a prison and peoples lives are in my hands.

Things have improved since the accident. The first 9 months after the accident I didn't want to be around anyone EVER! Not even my wife and kids. Now I want to be around them, I'm just a social buffoon. I was easily angered, constantly depressed, all I could think about was suicide.Although I'm not that bad now I still don't feel like myself. Will I ever go back to the person I was before? I miss that person. So does my friends and family. I have an appointment with my primary doctor on May 8th. I've brought these problems up to him before and he's dismissed them saying, "it takes time for the brain to recover", or, "you might not ever get those things back." I've done some research and have found that there is help for people who suffer from brain injuries. I'm not leaving my doctors office until he refers me to a specialist who can help me, because I'm finally willing to admit that I need help.