November 20, 2014


2 more months until my next weightlifting meet. This next competition is the one I've been training for for the last 11 months. It's the one I've been training my heart, body, and mind for. It's the goal that I think of when I'm feeling tired and beat down and need motivation. This next meet is the one I think of when I'm struggling to get another repetition. I haven't been this excited about something since my first Ironman triathlon way back in 2006. Shane Miller, the meet director hasn't named the meet yet, but as soon as he does I'll let you know what it's named.

November 19, 2014

A new program

Yesterday my Olympic weightlifting coach built me a new weightlifting training plan. I love getting a new training plan. Since it's something new my body isn't used to I'm fatigued beyond belief for at least a couple weeks. Today after my workout, the first one of the new plan, I was so tired the only thing I did all day was sit in my lazy boy chair. The new workout regime is a 5 day workout program. I'm excited about this. It looks tough, it looks like something that will be extremely challenging and take me to the next level.

November 13, 2014

self doubt in olympic weightlifting

After Sunday's weightlifting competition I was happy I'd made gains even though I'd struggled during training the last 4 months. But I still harbored a lot of self doubt. I've been afraid I should be at a much higher level than I am after doing this consistently for 11 straight months. I got tired of that fear hovering over me and my training and decided to ask a couple of really amazing local lifters, Will O'Connel out of Zia CrossFit and Randy Steward from Miller weightlifting, what their totals were after about a year, so that I could get a base line to compare. I was relieved to see I'm right there with their numbers.

Randy 12 months: 80/108/188
Me after 11 months: 79/103/183
Will 19 months: 75/100/175

Another outstanding lifter, Erik Hickey, told me recently ,"the most important thing to train in here (weightlifting gym) is our own self doubt." I am exactly where I should be after a year. I'm not falling behind at all. Now for the first time in this sport I believe in myself, I can put the fear and self doubt aside and throw myself into my training with full confidence.

November 09, 2014

"the Jody" invitational weightlifting meet Santa Fe NM November 9, 2014

Today I competed in "the Jody" weightlifting competition at The Miller gym in Santa Fe NM. This was my third weightlifting competition. My previous one was in July. Since the weightlifting tournament in July I've been struggling. My technical lifts hadn't gone up at all. Today I felt sure I wasn't going to be able to lift as much as I had at the last meet, which was a 76k snatch, 100k clean and jerk, a 176k total. My coach Shane Miller gave me a great motivational talk before my third and final snatch attempt. He told me to attempt a 79k snatch. 79k was higher than anything I'd accomplished in training, and MUCH greater than I felt I could make today. But if there's one thing I've learned in almost a year of Olympic weightlifting is ALWAYS trust Shane Miller. Shane is ALWAYS right. I nailed the 79k snatch which was a PR! After that I felt strong and confident and went 3 for 3 on my clean and jerks setting a lifetime personal best of 103k!

My next competition will be in January. If all continues to progress as it has been under Shane's tutelage I'll break the105k+ 40-44 age group New Mexico state record by over 100lbs.

November 08, 2014

The upcoming "The Jody" weightlifting competition and creatine monohydrate

On my last post I stated I was getting weaker even though I was training hard. I started taking creatine monohydrate. Less than two weeks later I had added 2k onto my snatch and 9k onto my clean and jerk, setting a PR on both. Creatine is amazing. I love that stuff.

I started making gains again just in time, tomorrow is the "the Jody", weightlifting competition at The Miller gym here in Santa Fe NM. I was so busy today I didn't eat or drink well all day. Not the smartest thing to do the day before a weightlifting competition. I'll post how I do tomorrow here on my blog..

October 09, 2014

weightlifting setbacks, parenting, and life

It's been awhile since I've posted. My wife is in nursing school and I'm working 12 shifts at night so I can do the parenting things during the day that my wife isn't able to do much of right now. Things like drop the kids off and pick them up from school, homework, driving them to their sports activities and practices, girl scouts, plus laundry, cooking, dishes, shopping, etc. I don't sleep much. Even though it feels chaotic keeping this busy, I've ever been this happy. Last year I wasn't handling the stress of such a busy life as well as I am now. That changed not to long ago when I met a little old lady who was depressed and lonely. After meeting her I had a revelation that even though life feels so incredibly busy, my quality of life is probably better now than it ever will be. My house is full of little people who love me, want me in their life, and are happy that I'm their Dad. My wife is so grateful for all I've been doing, she has never shown me this much love. Life is perfect. I've never been so content. Some day I'll be that old person willing to give up everything I own to have my kids  back home and to feel loved and needed every moment of the entire day like I do now.

I've still been training olympic style weightlifting. I'm still loving the heck out of it. But since July the totals of my snatch and clean and jerk have actually gone down. My totals are down to a pathetic 75/92/167k! I lost a few weeks of training last month. I had strep throat and my son had surgery. But the biggest reason my totals haven't been going up is lack of sleep. I'm averaging 2.5-3 hrs of sleep a day. I can't get stronger if I'm not sleeping. I started taking creatine monohydrate again yesterday. I'm hoping creatine will counter some of the negative effects of not sleeping.

September 03, 2014

a rough but healing time

It was a rough week last week. We knew something was wrong with my 7 year olds sleeping. We'd gone to the Dr every few months since he was little. The Dr always sent us away and told us everything was fine. I finally demanded to have my son seen by an ear nose and throat Dr.. As soon as the Ear Nose and Throat  DR saw him he said he has a level 4 airways obstruction in his throat, and the obstruction was probably to blame for his difficulty learning, emotional out bursts, irritability, etc. So on Thursday I found out my 7 year old son is going to have his tonsils and adenoids removed. At first that sounded horrible to me. But it's supposed to be an easy surgery and all the medical people who know about these things say this will turn his life into something so much easier and happier.

On Friday night I came down with a horrible illness. By Tuesday I wasn't better, went to the Dr's and found out I had strep. For 6 days I've been stuck at the house, bored, unable to train. I was supposed to take the family out to dinner on Saturday (we're on a strict budget, we don't get to eat out much)and camping on Sunday and Monday. we missed both. This sucks. Hopefully I'm going back to work on Wed night.

On a good note I think I've finally come to peace with my Dad not wanting to be a  part of my life. I'm not 100% certain where this peace in my heart came from but I think it's because I asked for my church group to pray for our relationship to get better. Our relationship didn't improve but my heart healed rather unexpectedly.

So back to my Dad. I've come to think each person sees others not as those people are, but as they would be themselves. For example my 2nd step dad thought I liked to have so many pets because I was a control freak. I was shocked and confused when I heard that. I've always had so many pets because I'm a nurturing and paternal person. He saw things incorrectly because he saw me not as I am, but as he would have seen himself. So now with that tid bit of information I realized that I was seeing my Dad's relationship the way I think. To me, there's nothing that means more to me than each one of my kids. I assumed all dad's felt the same way deep down inside them. And if he felt that way then he must think I'm a horrible person for him to not care about me enough to call me more than a couple times a year. Well now I've realized him wanting to have minimal contact with me isn't a problem he has with me, it's just because he's different then me. He has different priorities than me.... And now I've healed from 26 years of guilt and shame. It feels good.

September 02, 2014

exercise bulimia

Well, as you saw from my last post I fell off the weight loss wagon again. I've dieted a thousand times and have never been able to continue to eat healthy or keep the weight off. The closest I came to abstaining from binge eating was 9 months of abstinence and 1.5 years of maintaining a healthy body weight. 
That one time of success I was doing a some things well:
- I was going to 12 step meetings
- I was working with a sponsor
- I was working the 12 steps
- I was praying
- I wrote out a meal plan daily
- I was exercising regularly

The things I was doing wrong:
- I was too obsessed with triathlon and put in so much time training it was taking a crazy amount of time away my family and God 
- I was an Exercise bulimic

I still can't figure out if I had that one long streak of success with my weight and eating because of the good things I was doing or if it was because of the bad things I was doing. 

I found something in the AA book that I'm afraid is me. In chapter 5 of the AA book it says:

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves."

I'm killing myself by overeating. I can't stop. I don't know what to do. My wife is starting to get scared. I can't stop.