I've been at my new job for three weeks. The first couple weeks were great for my weightlifting schedule. This week I'll be working 6am-6pm all week and will only be able to train at High Dessert Athletic Club once. I love my new job. But unfortunately it's going to take awhile for me to build up the senority to work posts that will fit with my weightlifting schedule. Any days I miss weightlifting at High Dessert I go to Iron Soul and train by myself. I gotta be honest. I dont find weightlifting by myself fun at all. Not even a little.
Last week I listened to This American Life on Pandora. The episode was called Tell me I'm fat. Not to sound dramatic here, but it changed my perseption of myself. I'm fat. I'm not always fat. Sometimes i am able to lose a lot of weight and be thin. Or what other people perceive as more attractive. Or or even more acceptable as a person. I've gained and lost 60-120 pounds dozens of times. I always hated myself when I was fat again, but just couldn't seem to stop from gaining the weight back.
It seems to me that it's only ok to be fat in society if the fat person shows they are in the process of trying to lose weight. How they're trying to change themselves to better fit everyone else's expectations. Listening to Tell me I'm fat on Pandora helped me to realize it's ok if I'm fat. Being thin doesn't change who I am. If I'm not accepted or I am looked down apon that's the problem of the bigot who's judging me. It's ok to be happy exactly as I am. It's ok to be content with who I am and how I look. I don't have to change myself to make other people happy.
So.... this is what it feels to like myself again and be happy in my own body again. I like it. Being content in the moment and loving myself feels much better than hating myself for who I'm not.
I really love Spark. I've found a ton of good things about it, and even some bad. The list of bad is a short list. So here it goes:
If I take it before an evenning workout I can't get to sleep until late. I'm talking really late. 3-4 am kind of late. I have to wake up at 3:30 am for my new job. That sucks. Now that I'm not using it for evenning workouts I've found the other negative thing about Spark. I've become accustomed to having the amazing workouts that Spark provides. When I don't use it I struggle to get through the workouts. Trying to workout without Spark after being used to it is probably what Superman feels like when he's exposed to Kripronite.
After finding out New Mexico retiree health care insurance is unaffordable through New Mexico retiree health care and the insurance offered through my new employer is unaffordable I tried to apply for Presbyterian health insurance. We were denied because we currently are insured through NM reriree health care. So it looks like the most affordable place we can get health insurance is NM health care connections. It's going to cost us a little over $800 a month for all 5 of us. Now that we'll have affordable health insurance I'll get this lump in my chest looked at. I'm hoping it's not the C word. Cancer runs in my mom's side of the family. Keep me in your prayers if your willing.
Since re-hiring my nutrition coach, Barry Schroeder, in early April I've lost 12 pounds while putting on more strength and explosiveness. I'm pretty sure I'll break through the 100k snatch and 125k clean and jerk by the next weightlifting meet I compete in. A 220k total would be a dream come true!
On Friday I found out the medical insurance at my new employer is over $2,400 a month for the 5 of us. Medical insurance through the New Mexico retiree health care would be $1,872 a month. Obviously I was freaking out. My wife and I found health care insurance through the New Mexico health care connect for only $800 a month for all 5 of us. That's so much more affordable! Today we'll be getting quotes from Presbyterian. I'll keep you informed what we find out.
Well I hate to admit I was wrong. But I love my new job! It's much better than working in a prison. And I loved my old job at the prison. Loved it enough I stayed there for 21 years & retired.
The bad news is I found out the health insurance at my new job is EXPENSIVE! For my wife, three kids, and I it's going to cost $2,475 a month and it has a $8,000 deductable! I have the option of health insurance through the New Mexico retiree health care, but it's $1,872 a month. Man, that's bloody expensive too. I'm in a rush to get decent health insurance because I've developed a lump on my left chest. In the last two weeks it's grown from the size of a quarter to 1.5 time the size of a quarter.
The monthly cost of the two insurance options is expensive enough, but if the lump is something that needs treatment like- God forbid- cancer we'd have to pay for everything up until our deductable, we'd pay %20 after our deductable, plus we'd our have to pay the co-pay for every appointment would be out of pocket. That would absolutely bankrupt us.
Today I dropped 5 snatches of only 70% of my max. I've never missed that many times in a row. I hesitate to say it was a bad day of training because I learn more from a bad day of weightlifting than a great day. Even after a day like today I'm still confident that I'll make a bodyweight snatch by the end of 2016. I believe hard work, dedication, and persevering through the low times will make for amazing results.
Today my 8 year old ran in his 2nd track meet. He ran the 800 in 3:40. He also ran his first ever 1500m in 8:35. We moved to Albuquerque late in the season. He started 13 weeks after the rest of the club. Even though everyone else is in much better shape than him from training over 3 months longer than him he still works so hard and never gives up. He's knocked 20 seconds off of his 800 meter run in the last two weeks. Things like this is what motivates me. I want to work hard to set an example for my babies because my kids are so inspiring to me.
Things are looking up. I had the best clean and jerk training session of my life on Monday. My jerks have improved immensely. I predict a 125k C&J in my future very soon.
I hit 30 days of logging my food and eating a healthy diet. I really like the diet my nutrition coch has me on. I've lost 6 pounds in the last 30 days. I never really feel hungry or miss any foods.
I start work at my new job on Monday. For the first two weeks I'll be working Monday, Tuesday, Thursday, and Friday from 5:30am to 2:30pm. That's a dream shift for a family man. I can't wait. I love working. It gives me a feeling of accomplishment and belonging. I plan on working my entire life. No matter how old I get. I was hoping to work this new job immediately after retiring from the state penitentiary without a break of employment. But it took much longer to get my level 3 gaurd card than I thought it would.
Even better news is that my family will have medical insurance 90 days after my first day worked at my new job. On September 9th we'll be covered by Blue Cross and Blue Shield. Finally. I have three children ages 6-10. Kids get hurt and sick a lot. We need that medical coverage as quickly as possible. In the last few months I've developed a lump on my left chest right below my nipple. It's a little bigger than a quarter and it's a bit sore when touched. Once I get medical coverage I'll get it checked out STAT. September 9th can't come quick enough.