CrossFit costs or CrossFit for couples

I decided earlier this week I was going to cancel my Crossfit membership to save money so I could continue to be home with the kids more. After a few days I fell off the diet wagon. So then I went back to crossfit and Wala, I was motivated to eat healthy and count macros again. I think I've come to the realization that I need to continue training at Bear Canyon CrossFit. There's something about that place that makes me motivated to eat right and eat the right amounts. It seems to effect more than just what kind of workout I'm doing. It totally changes my lifestyle. After I told my wife how my diet changes for the worse everytime I stop going to CrossFit she actually decided to try it too. Her first CrossFit workout will be tomorrow. I'll blog about her workout soon. But she and I came up with an idea on how to pay for it. Our membership will be $220 a month. Right now she and I put money into a 401k retirement plan. We'll just deduct $220 a month from how much we're investing in our 401k. The way I look at it is there's more than one way to invest in our future. And one of those ways is investing in our health. What's the point in saving for retirement if we'll be to sick or dead to enjoy it? So, tomorrow she and I start training CrossFit together. I'm really excited. I think this will be great for both our bodies and our relationship. It'll be something we can bond doing together.

Better days

After years and years of working 80-90 hours work weeks I'm finally to the point that I'm working less. I particularly love Tuesdays and Thursdays. I don't work until later in the day on those two days. So I wake up very early and workout before the sun comes up so that I can get back in time to hang out with my kids before school. Then I drive my daughter to school. It's just her and I. She really seems to enjoy that special alone time. So do I. After I get back from dropping off my daughter I take my two sons to school early and we play basketball or football until the school bell rings. I'm creating a lot of wonderful memories with them. This is probably the happiest I've ever been. That's a big difference from the 10.5 years my wife continually put us in bad financial positions that forced me to work ungodly amounts of hours that caused me to be miserable and depressed to the point of contemplating suicide. Since working less I've grown closer with my children, and have started working on me. I'm working out, getting stronger, losing weight, and am happier. These are good times.

Running with my kids again

Today my kids and I were home all day together. It was wonderful. We finished building our rabbitry, played basketball, and played football. I was able to run out for passes, Chase them down on defense to prevent touchdowns, and be quick on my feet changing direction playing basketball. I couldn't do any of those things 3 months ago. Not only has the weight loss helped, but I've gotten in better shape. I didn't realize what a difference crossfit has made until today. The change was amazing. As bad as I wanted to quit CrossFit, after this weekend I won't. I'm so glad I can run and play with my kids again.

Celebrating with food

On Christmas Eve I weighed less than 300lbs for the first time in a very long time. On Christmas I over ate. All day. The next morning I weighed 307. I knew most of it was salt and water retention. But still, 4 days after I'm still at 300. I've learned two lessons from this:
1) Overeating for a Holliday or a family function just isn't worth it.
2) when celebrating eat a bit less all day so I can have more to eat during the celebration so that I don't feel like I'm going without or sacrificing as much.

Training ups and downs

On Monday I had a horrible squat day. On Wednesday I had by far the best day of deadlifts I've ever had in my life. Then this morning I had a total crap day of CrossFit. I used to let the ups and downs effect me emotionally. I'd feel on top of the world in every aspect of my life on a good day of training and I'd feel like the world had caved in on me if I had a bad day of training. I'm learning to not allow the highs and lows to effect me as much. I'm trying to remember that training is like bouncing a ball while traveling up hill.  There are a lot of small ups and downs. But the end effect is still going in an upward direction.

For a long time I was angry and resentful. I'd been forced to work 80-90 hours a week for so long I was depressed and had lost hope of a decent life. I haven't worked any overtime since October. Just 36-40 hours a week. Not working as much, being able to spend time with my kids, and time to workout has done miracles for my happiness and contentment. This week was the first time in over a decade that I felt that I was glad to be married.

Christmas binge

I had eaten perfectly every day since September 5th. But Christmas Eve and Christmas I ate whatever I wanted. All that crappy food in excessive amounts made me feel sluggish and weak during my last couple workouts. Today I'm back on the diet wagon. And I'm glad to be eating healthy and reasonable amounts again too. I've been on a roll for the first time in years. As long as I continue to do what Avatar Nutrition tells me to do I should be at my dream weight by mid-late summer. It'll be nice to lift in the 110k weight class. And being 60 pounds lighter will help a lot in CrossFit too. Being 300lbs doesn't exactly make me efficient or fast to say the least.

I was home on Christmas Eve and Christmas. This was only the 2nd time I've ever been off of work and home with my kids on Christmas. It was great. I'm really in a good place right now. I'm happy.

Holliday's at Bear Canyon CrossFit

Most CrossFit gyms are closed on Sundays and Holliday's. But Bear Canyon CrossFit has a Sunday class. They also have a classes on Thanksgiving, Christmas Eve, etc. I love that. But I'm beginning to think the owners of Bear Canyon CrossFit hate Holliday's. Every time I've shown up on a holiday the workouts are brutal. The Thanksgiving sampler took me an hour and eleven minutes. Yesterday's 12 days of Christmas was a nightmare. Today, Christmas Eve, took me 38 minutes. Brutal. But it helps. Because most people over eat on the Holidays. And having a workout before celebrating can help keep a person focused on not over indulging. It helps me to focus on making training and eating a lifestyle. It helps remind us that we can have fun without losing control. Plus after the holiday workouts my legs are to fatigued to get up from the table to refill my plate.

Day off for recovery and New Mexico health Care connect

Just last week I was blogging about how I'd gotten in good enough shape that I was working out 7 days a week. And that in addition to training every day I was hoping to start doing two workouts in one day at least once a week. Well yesterday I felt like crap. I was tired, sore, grouchy, and wasn't motivated to go to the gym. So today I had to eat my words and take a day off from training.

My day of recovery couldn't have happened at a better time. My wife had the day off from work. So we spent the day together. We slept late, did lots of cuddling, and a few chores together.

My wife has been commuting 120 miles a day for work since we moved to Albuquerque 19 months ago. She got a new job that's only 2.7 miles from our house. That'll give her an extra 2 hours a day at home. The best news is her new job has full benefits. Her medical insurance is only $600 a month. We had been getting medical insurance from New Mexico health connections. For the 5 of us it was $957 a month. But the cost was going to go up to $1257 a month on January. My wife saved our butt financially with her new job! $1,257 a month is rediculous. Needless to say we have cancelled New Mexico health connections.

The end of training for......

I finally got the problems for my pituitary gland fixed. I feel so much better now. I have more energy. And I'm sure once I'm able to start working out again I'll start  getting gains again. But I can't work out right now. Earlier this year my wife got a invitation for a wedding in New York City. She desperately wanted for all five of us to go. We made a deal. I'd pick up a couple extra shifts a week and she'd get a part time job on her 2 days off. We also agreed we wouldn't go unless we could save the money in cash. We wouldn't use credit cards, loans, or tap into our emergency fund. As the months passed I continued to do my part picking up extra shifts. But she hasn't done anything at all to earn any extra money for the trip. Last month I reminded her that since she hasn't held up her end of the deal we haven't saved enough money to be able to go. She told me she didn't care if we had the money to go or not, that she and the kids are going. She said she'd use credit cards or empty out our emergency fund if she had too. I don't want her to put us in another horrible mess financially like she has so many times in the past. So for over a month I'm working from 5:30am-8:00pm every weekday. I don't even have enough time to sleep, much less workout. I'm overly fatigued and I miss seeing my children. Since starting to work like this again I'm gaining weight hand over fist. I worked 80-90 hours a week from 2006-2014 because of her bad decisions and disregard for me. And here I am doing it again. It's unfair. I'm tired of being a wage slave.

More men died by suicide last year than in WWII. The reason is ignored or repressed. Studies are met with animosity.

My opinion is that the majority of men's suicides are by middle aged married men or men being destroyed by divorce, family courts, unfair alimony, spousal support, and child support.

Most married men have to work a rediculous amount of hours or work jobs they don't like in order to support their wife's lifestyle expectations. The wife rarely has a job that could support her unrealistic lifestyle expectations so the man has to pick up the slack working hours and jobs he'd never have chosen if he was on his own. But the married man is trapped. He can't escape this nightmare. If he stops working the excessive hours and/or goes back to the jobs that would make him happy his wife will leave him or she'll continue her spending and he'd be in bankruptcy court. Once she realizes he can't provide her the lifestyle or the things in life she expects she'll start looking for someone who will or she'll want a divorce. The husband will get stuck with all the debt. She'll get all the assets. And he'll lose his kids.

Let's look at the numbers. If I make $50k a year the government will take just shy of %35 ($17,500) in taxes. Then I'll pay child support for three kids ($12,500). Plus approximately $600-$800 a month in alimony or spousal support ($9,600). So that leaves me $10,400 a year to live on. That's less than a thousand $ a month. The only way I can have my kids stay the night at my place on the days I have them is if I have a place the state deems appropriate. That alone would take almost all of the money I'd have left over. I'd have no money for food, gas, utilities, clothes..... So the way I see it is there are only 3 options.
1) continue to be a wage slave and live a miserable existence of working 60-90 hours a week with no help.
2) divorce and live an even worse life of being broke and never seeing my kids.
3) suicide....

I don't want a divorce. All I really want is for my wife to act like an adult. I want her to stop making bad decisions that only I pay the consequences for. I feel like she's an entitled child living in an adults body. I'm a wage slave and there's no end to the suffering. I'm tired of working so many hours. I'm tired of feeling like the person who is most comfortable with me suffering is my own wife. I want a partner. A helper. I want to be a part of a team. What I'm experiencing is not team work. It's abuse.

Goodbye Dad

My natural father and I were very close when I was younger. He used to pick me up on weekends and every other holiday. Once he moved farther away he'd fly me out to visit him every other summer, spring, and Christmas break. And then when I was 12 he disappeared without any warning. I found him again in 2002. He was living in Truth or Consequences New Mexico, just a few hours from where I've lived my entire adult life. I visited him and I asked if I could could see him every once in awhile. Maybe catch a movie or something. He responded, "that would be abandoning my family." His response made no sense to me at all. Obviously seeing a movie or going out to dinner occasionally isn't abandoning anyone. And I was his family. I didn't contact him again until after my wife and I had three kids together. I thought he'd like to meet them and get to know them. I was wrong. He's never called on anyone's birthdays, Christmas, etc. Last Christmas he traveled the country to spend time visiting each of his kids and step kids. Everyone of them but me. He didn't call when his Dad died. I wouldn't have known about my grandpa's funeral if one of my cousins hadn't called and told me. I called him on father's day. He said he heard in February that my father-in-law died. He knew for two months and never even bothered to call and see how we were doing. Since getting back into contact with him the only times he's ever called was to tell me I was cut out of his will. And another time to tell me he was going to give the watch my grandpa left to me when he died to my uncle instead. Id gladly trade inheritance and my grandfather's heirloom for an occasional phone call. Would an "I love you son" be to much to ask? I've tried really hard to build a relationship with him. But I've come to realize he is dead set against one. At the time I didn't understand what he meant when he told me he'd be abandoning his family if he spent time with me. It's taken me until now to understand that what he meant was he didn't want to spend time with me at all. Ever. I should have known back then. Perhaps I was in denial. But I understand now..... I wish I could say I won't miss you.  But I will. I have mourned over your absence for 29 years. It felt like there was a void created in my heart once you bailed out of my life.... Goodbye Dad. Even though you don't deserve it, I love you. And I'll miss you deeply.

Sold my baby

I've had a Cannondale Slice for a long time.

I put a lot of miles on it. Almost 12,000 miles. I'm very emotionally attached to this bike. I tried selling it on Craigslist. But when people came over to look at it I'd end up telling them I'd changed my mind.

This weekend my cousin came up from Lubbock Texas. He said if I was selling it he'd really like to buy it. I was so excited! He takes really great care of his bikes. This couldn't have worked out better. My beautiful bike has a good home.

day 1 training for the New Mexico games track and field

I went off the deep end and registered for the New Mexico games track and field. I'll be running in the 100 meter event on June 24th. That's in 49 days. I'm pretty sure I'll be the heaviest athlete to have ever ran in a New Mexico games track meet. Probably the slowest too. But in the next 49 days I'll be the best me I can be. And I'll be having fun getting there.

I woke up this morning and did sprints. My two boys, ages 7 & 9  ran with me. They both beat me pretty badly. It made their day. Nothing but smiles after. My youngest held my hand the whole walk home. I think training for the track meet will be a great bonding experience.

Track running/training

I tried doing some sprints today with my sons during my daughter's volleyball practice. I was planning on doing some workouts for middle distance track running. I was planning on running:
1x600
1x400
1x200
1x100
My back didn't hurt. So that's great news. What I wasn't expecting was is how bad of shape I'm in. I couldn't run that far. By the time I was at the tail end of the 600 I was running a slow jog. So my boys and I shortened the distance to 7x300.

I really enjoyed it. That got me to thinking. Track sprint training doesn't take long and I could do it pretty much anywhere. Like during my kids practices. Which is important because I spend a large amount of my time taking my kids to and from wrestling, volleyball, cheerleading, etc. I don't have much time. I might have a new goal. Track running. Perhaps join a club? They even have a New Mexico master's track and field state championships.

The passing of a great man

My father in law passed away last week. He was awesome. I loved that man. He and my mother in law pretty much adopted me into their family. Shortly after I started dating my wife I'd stay at their house on weekends. He'd take me on trips with them. When I was sick I'd go to their house and they'd nurse me back to health making me home made soup and tea. He was the stable father figure I'd always wanted but never had. He was the best grandpa I've ever seen. He was always willing to spend time with them, watch endless hours of Disney channel with them, and go to thier sporting events. We'll all miss him terribly.

victory through attrition

The USPA, a powerlifting federation is having the New Mexico state championships here in Albuquerque on November 19th, 2016. I train strictly for weightlifting. But I've found weightlifting traning transfers well for powerlifting. I decided, just for fun, to look up the Super heavyweight 40-44 age group state records for the raw and classic raw divisions and there aren't any. All I have to do is show up and successfully lift a single squat, deadlift, and bench and technically I'll be the USPL state champion and state record holder. As I'm continuing this journey into strength athletics I've found there aren't many super heavyweight 40 or older left. They all have bad backs, knees, hearts, etc. I've won almost ever single weightlifting and powerlifting meet ive ever entered, simply because I'm usually the only one in my division. So far I've won 3 New Mexico state weightlifting championships, hold all the of the New Mexico weightlifting state records, won a New Mexico state NASA championship and hold 9 New Mexici state NASA powerlifting records. The owner of Iron Soul Gym tells me I'm earning victories through attrition. I think that's going to be my new motto, "victory through attrition."

I recently made peace with my weight. I'm happy with myself as I am. Well, last week my wife told me she wants me to lose 75 pounds. That she said that she doesn't like the way I look. That hurt. So I asked my sports nutrition coach Barry Schroeder if we could speed up my weight loss, even if it means sacraficing weightlifting performance.

health insurance and weight loss update

After finding out New Mexico retiree health care insurance is unaffordable through New Mexico retiree health care and the insurance offered through my new employer is unaffordable I tried to apply for Presbyterian health insurance. We were denied because we currently are insured through NM reriree health care. So it looks like the most affordable place we can get health insurance is NM health care connections. It's going to cost us a little over $800 a month for all 5 of us. Now that we'll have affordable health insurance I'll get this lump in my chest looked at. I'm hoping it's not the C word. Cancer runs in my mom's side of the family. Keep me in your prayers if your willing.

Since re-hiring my nutrition coach, Barry Schroeder,  in early April I've lost 12 pounds while putting on more strength and explosiveness. I'm pretty sure I'll break through the 100k snatch and 125k clean and jerk by the next weightlifting meet I compete in. A 220k total would be a dream come true!

retiree health care costs

Thanks to Obama Care the cost of health insurance through the NM retiree health care has sky rocketed. Now that i retired from New Mexico the state health insurance for my wife, my three kids and I is $1,782 a month. After I pay my families health care I have $128 a month left from my pension. I'm currently training for my next job. My new employer is giving training when they have the time. It's sporadic at best. I usually have a week or more inbetween times they are able to offer me training. Until I can start working again we aren't able to pay our bills. We aren't able to pay our mortgage this month.

This week my new employer is training firearms. I've been shooting guns since I was 7 years old. So consequently I'm an exellent shot. Since shooting comes so naturally to me I'm not up to date with the book aspect and terminologies of shooting and firearms. So I failed a written test today. I have another shot to pass tomorrow. If I don't pass tomorrow's test I have to wait 90 days to test again. If i dont pass i dont work. Needless to say I'm freaking the hell out.

I'll post what questions I can remember here for shits and giggles. Its all off of memory, so the questions aren't and answers aren't perfect. There were a few true or false questions. But most of it is fill in the blank.

Questions:
1) What are the 4 general safety rules of firearms handling?
2) what are color codes of awareness and it's meaning?
3) what are the 7 fundamentals of handgun marksmanship?
4) what fundamentals is required when shooting at greater distances?
5) true or false, ballistics is the study of projectiles in motion
6) list the conditions of automatic pistol failure in order
7) what's a failure drill?
8) when you draw your weapon but not ready to shoot?
9) can't recall question
10) can't recall question
11) name two reasons to double tap?
12) name three of five factors that effect projectory?
13) name the three m's of something?
14) Can't recall question
15) name the two parts of a revolver?
16) name the two parts of an automatic pistol?
17) can't recall question
18) can't recall question
19) can't recall question
20) can't recall question

Answers
1) -The Gun Is Always Loaded
-Never Point The Gun At Something You Are Not Prepared To Destroy
-Always Be Sure Of Your Target And What Is Behind It
-Keep Your Finger Off The Trigger Until Your Sights Are On The Target
2) white- no awareness 
Yellow- casual scanning, general awareness
Orange- detenction, assessment 
Red-  decision, action
3) grip
Stance 
Sight picture
Sight alignment 
Breath control 
Trigger squeeze 
Follow through 
4) sight alignment 
Trigger control
5) true
6)  failure to feed
Failure to extract
failure to eject
7) 2 center mass, one to the head
8) low ready
9) weapon retention 
10) true
11) increase vital hits
Beat body alarm
12) -humidity 
-altitude 
- wind
-drag
-temperature 
13) marksmanship 
Manipulation 
Mental conditioning 
14) false
15) barrel/frame
16) slide/frame
17) true
18) false
19) yes
20) false

moving, retiring, and change

I really hate change. I'm like an old person in that way. That's probably my best and worst personal trait. It makes me loyal, but it also makes me a huge pain in the butt. There's a massive amount of change coming in my near future. We're buying a new home. We'll be selling a place I love and have lived happily for the last 13 years. We'll be moving to a city I don't like much, Albuquerque NM. I'll be retiring from the prison I've worked at and loved for 21 years. I'll be getting another job with potentially better pay, but still it's.... change..... I'm a wreck right now.

I've been struggling with weightlifting for a couple months. I should be lifting a lot more than I am. My speed and strength have increased a ton, but the weights I'm lifting haven't increased. The problem is my form. I've been frustrated enough that I've been contemplating switching to powerlifting. The only things that had stopped me from changing sports was that olympic weightlifting has one of the lowest injury rates of all sports, powerlifting's injury rate is pretty high; I felt I was on the verge of getting some pretty big numbers before getting in my slump; I recently lifted a 100k snatch. That's a pretty good lift for someone in their 40's. I'm like %75 certain I'll stick with weightlifting., try to work my way out of this slump.

Once i move to Albuquerque it'll be a two hour round trip drive to the Miller Gym. Add a two hour long workout, that's 4 hours, four times a week to train. The Miller Gym is worth it. Coach Shane Miller is one of the best programmers in the nation. And I love the people I lift with. I feel a tremendous amount of camaraderie with them. It's rare to find such a close knit team. I'm going to try like hell to continue to train there. I'm hoping I'll be able to adjust my schedule to fit 4 hours of training and driving everyother day after work, but with 3 kids involved in sports after school, and my wife working full time while taking 14 credit hours of college classes in the evenings, I'm not sure how I'll be able to. Change sucks.

weightlifting on vacation

I'm on vacation until December 31st. This is the first time in 21 years of working at the prison that I've had Christmas week off. It's only the third time I haven't had to work on Christmas day. MY wife and kids are on vacation too. This holiday is turning out to be pretty wonderful.

We'll be going to Las Vegas NV from the 27th-30th to visit my half brother. He's 21 years younger than me. Not that it matters, I just find that amusing and thought I'd share.

 It's difficult training olympic style weightlifting while on vacation. More difficult than any sport I've ever participated in. A person can run anywhere. There's jiu jitsu gyms in virtually every city in the U.S..  But there's not many gyms with drop plates  and bars that work for olympic weightlifting. I've found a couple gyms that say they have bars and plates for weightlifting. I'm hoping they'll let me drop in.

traveling for weightlifting meets

My training program is having me taper this week, which means I'll be peaking next week. My weightlifting meet isn't until Jan 16th. The last program i finished i lifted a lifetime best 91/115 which would have qualified me for the masters national championship. But I peaked almost a month before my meet. Since I peaked so long before my tournament I ended up only lifting an 88/115 at The Lift Outside The Box weightlifting meet and missed qualifying for the masters national championships. Same thing is happening now with this training program. I'm peaking 3 weeks to soon.

I've been eligible to retire from the prison since May. In addition to working at the prison my family and I live on prison grounds. I don't want to retire and leave the prison until we save up a down payment of %20 for a home. It has been more difficult to save up $40,000 than I thought it would be. If we continue to save at the rate we are currently I won't be able to retire from the penitentiary until 2020. I'm not ok with that. We need to make some adjustments. We're already on a pretty strict budget. About the only place we can make any changes is to take the money I'm saving to travel to the masters national championships in Savannah Georgia this upcoming March and add it to the down payment for a home fund. So its looking like if I qualify for the masters national championships I won't be able to go. I guess that makes the problem of my training program not match up with weightlifting meets not matter much. I don't want this to sound like a pity party. I'm completely at peace with it. I'm a family man. Nothing matters to me more. I love putting my family first. I don't need to actually go and compete in the masters national championships, simply qualifying is enough.