Crazy taper thoughts

This Saturday is the US powerlifting association New Mexico state championships meet. This week I started my deload week. We used to call it a taper back in my triathlon days. I hate tapering. I keep thinking crazy OCD thoughts, "I could be gaining more streangth if I was training hard. What if I'm doing my taper wrong and screw up my meet. Why don't I Just say screw this meet and continue training through to prepare for the next one. Missing one meet won't hurt. Etc."

I also started eating to maintain my weight instead of dieting to drop weight. That way I'll go into the meet fully fueled and not at a deficit. And of course I'm miserable doing that to. I have more and even stronger OCD thoughts about pushing pause on my weight loss until after the meet. "I could be 5 pounds lighter by now! I could just diet through the meet, 5 or 10 pounds on my meets total won't really matter. I'm finally on a roll loosing weight, what if I can't get back on the diet wagon?"

I know I'm doing the right thing by slowing my training and dieting. But it's hard when I'm such a one track mind kind of a guy.

Oh, by the way. Have I mentioned lately how much happier I am now that I'm not being forced to work 80-90 hours a week anymore? I'm spending a lot of my time with my kids. Driving them to wrestling, volleyball, and weightlifiting practices. Watching thier sporting events. Getting in my workout time. And now that I can sleep a normal amount of time I'm no longer struggling with overeating and depression. Life is finally good again. That 11 years of hell is finally over.

mental toughness and blog names

I've been contemplating changing the name of my blog. I came up with the perfect blog name: podium quest. Turns out the blog name is already taken. Should i keep the name memoirs of an olympic weightlifter? Got any ideas for me? Please share.

I felt great in the gym today. I guess a large part of my problem was mental. It was caused by not sharing my feelings on my taper and peak with my weightlifting coach. That surprised me. I've always felt I was mentally and emotionally stronger than that. The only other time in my life that my athletic performance was hurt because of something mental was back in 2007. I was training for my first Iron distance triathlon, The Silverman full distance triathlon. That year my step dad died, i had a poor triathlon coach, I was over training, my wife racked up a staggering amount of debt, and i was forced to work 90 hour work weeks. That year I suffered my only DNF of my triathlon career of 86 races. With all the things happening to me in 2007 I feel it was understandable to fall apart. But what's happened the last couple weeks was a pretty small thing to come unraveled over. I'm disappointed in myself. I'm just thankfull the solution was easy. Simply talk to my weightlifting coach about it. He was so receptive and understanding. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

communicating with coaches and money

The last few days I weighed 308. I weighed 303 this morning. My weight is like powerball numbers, you have no clue what theyre going to be.

I've been horrible in the gym the last week. It's because I peaked a few weeks ago. Most people lose some strength and speed after they peak. But I don't lose a little,  I crash and burn. I straight up fall apart! This isn't surprising at all. I've known my body does this since I first started triathlon training way back in 2004. Timing my peak is the most important thing for me and my athletics endeavors. My weightlifting coach didn't know this. You know why he didn't know? Because I didn't tell him that's why. I've wanted to tell him, but i wasn't sure how. What was mostly on my mind was not making waves. I love my gym. It's one of the few pure weightlifting gyms in the nation. And the Miller Gym is the most awesome place I've ever trained. All of the coaches are incredible. Coach Shane is one of the best program builders in the nation. The other members who train there are more than just like minded athletes who also love olympic style weightlifting. We're a team. A really close team. I haven't felt a team spirit like this since my days of playing football.  I guess deep down I was just worried I'd accidentally ruffled some feathers and be asked to leave. It was an absurd fear. Coach Shane approached me today & asked me a long list of questions, trying to diagnose what was up with me and my crap performance recently. I finally broke down and told him what was up. He seemed relieved, "oh, ok. That's an easy fix. I can adjust your program for that." Seriously?  It was that easy? Dang it!

Shane's always been very approachable. Always willing to listen and work with people. I don't know why the heck I was so anxious talking to him. Once I finally bared my soul to him everything was fixed. Bam, that easy. I feel really stupid.

I got paid on Friday. It was a check with almost no overtime. We still had enough money to pay all our bills and also enough left to save some for a down payment for a home. I know that doesn't sound like that big of a deal, but we struggled something horrible for a long time. There was one Chistmas, in 2011, we didn't have enough money to buy our kids presents. Imagine how hard it would be to tell your kids Santa Claus isn't coming this year. I've had a lot of time at home with the family recently. I'm playing catch up with all the time I missed with the family when I was working 80-90 hours a week. I've taught my kids how to ride a skate board, play the game go fish, and I've been shopping for a guitar so we can all learn to play music together.  It's amazing to me how much more appreciative I am now for the good times after we struggled so much for so long. I am so grateful to be through the rough patch and enjoying  the good times now. The last few months may have been the best 3 months of my life. 

a weigtlifting taper, weight gain, and an absentee Dad

My weightlifting meet is on Saturday. I'm really looking forward to it. Unfortunately my peak was three weeks ago. This taper was just too dang long to hold onto any significant strength. I feel like crap. That sucks big balls, but i think i still have enough in the tank to qualify for the master's national championships.

After hiring a nutrition coach I lost 18 pounds in 9 weeks. Then the family and I drove to Las Vegas to visit my half brother for a week. I came back weighing 310 pounds, gaining back half the weight I lost in 9 weeks of dieting. That sucks big balls too. But i gotta stick with it. I want to apply for a job at UPS or FEDEX, and it's doubtful they'd hire a guy as fat as me to do such a vigorous and hard job.

While visiting my half brother in Nevada I found out that my natural father and my step mom had gone on a really long road trip to visit all their kids for Christmas. They drove from Truth Or Consequences New Mexico to Denver Colorado to visit my Dad's step son for a few days, then drove from Denver to Las Vegas Nevada to spend a few days with their son there. They didn't come visit me. Hell, he didn't even call the kids or I. They live less than 3 hours away from me. I've only seen my Dad once in the last 2 years, and that was for less than a 90 minute visit. He made it absolutely clear he couldn't get out of there quick enough. I realise I was a really fucked up kid who wasn't easy to get along with. But I've worked really hard to turn myself into a loving and dedicated husband, an involved and patient father, a good hearted man who's compassionate, responsible, trustworthy, and loyal. It breaks my heart that he wont take the time to know the man who I grew up to be, because I think i turned into a good one. And what hurts worse is that my kids have to pay for it. They're growing up not knowing anyone from my side of the family. And they are the only innocent ones in this situation. They're beautiful and perfect. But he's not willing to get to know him either.

traveling for weightlifting meets

My training program is having me taper this week, which means I'll be peaking next week. My weightlifting meet isn't until Jan 16th. The last program i finished i lifted a lifetime best 91/115 which would have qualified me for the masters national championship. But I peaked almost a month before my meet. Since I peaked so long before my tournament I ended up only lifting an 88/115 at The Lift Outside The Box weightlifting meet and missed qualifying for the masters national championships. Same thing is happening now with this training program. I'm peaking 3 weeks to soon.

I've been eligible to retire from the prison since May. In addition to working at the prison my family and I live on prison grounds. I don't want to retire and leave the prison until we save up a down payment of %20 for a home. It has been more difficult to save up $40,000 than I thought it would be. If we continue to save at the rate we are currently I won't be able to retire from the penitentiary until 2020. I'm not ok with that. We need to make some adjustments. We're already on a pretty strict budget. About the only place we can make any changes is to take the money I'm saving to travel to the masters national championships in Savannah Georgia this upcoming March and add it to the down payment for a home fund. So its looking like if I qualify for the masters national championships I won't be able to go. I guess that makes the problem of my training program not match up with weightlifting meets not matter much. I don't want this to sound like a pity party. I'm completely at peace with it. I'm a family man. Nothing matters to me more. I love putting my family first. I don't need to actually go and compete in the masters national championships, simply qualifying is enough.

weightlifting and tapering for a peak

I've been experimenting with my taper before weightlifting meets. I've tried not working out the entire week before the meet, taking a few days before the meet off, and most recently just a light training day the day before. Out of all of these not training at all three days from the weightlifting meet seems to work the best. Not lifting a week before the meet makes me feel sluggish. Weightlifting light the day before makes my legs feel fatigued and doesn't let me feel explosive power that taking three days off before the meet does.

Back in my triathlon days i had a golden carrot,  a goal of beating a stud triathlete named Brian Pilgrim. I chose him because he was a bad ass and i felt that i needed to beat the best to be the best. i eventually did end up being faster than him.

Now that I'm a weightlifter i have another gold carrot. Barry Schroeder. He's a stud. He's only a 94K but he consistently lifts a 101/121/222. For as long as I've been a weightlifter i thought a 100k snatch and a 120k clean and jerk was unattainable. But yesterday i lifted a 115k clean and jerk. I now know those numbers are attainable, sooner rather than later. Possibly by January,  definitely by next summer. Yesterday after my piss poor performance at the Lift Outside The Box weightlifting meet i was feeling sorry for myself, but this morning i realized beating Barry Schroeder is possible. And now I'm super motivated. Time to lace up the weightlifting shoes and go back to training!

weightlifting taper and my grandmother passing away

Just before i started my taper I was ready for a break!  I was going to ask my coach if i could have a week off after the meet. By the end of my taper i'm missing lifting heavy. This is exactly what happens everytime.  I'm tired when I'm supposed to be, and feeling hungry for some heavy weightlifting when I'm about to compete. It's wonderful having a coach that has me hit every phase of training exactly like I'm supposed.

My grandmother died this weekend of bone cancer. It was her 5th bout with cancer. She was amazing.

My mother was at the funeral. My mother and i haven't spoken in over 4 years. I was afraid she was going to try and cause drama like she usually does. She didn't. Although it was awkward being around her, the weekend with the entire family was wonderful and the funeral was beautiful. I'll miss my Meme, that's what i called her. Meme. She was so strong and wonderful. She was the rock of our family. All of us on earth who knew her are heart broken, but she's with her husband, her daughter, and Jesus now so I know she's happier.

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traveling, illness, a dying family member, and Compass Crossfit

I still haven't healed up from my flue yet, and my big weightlifting meet is in 7 days. I'm starting to get nervous. I've never been sick this close to a meet before.  By the end of my workout on Thursday i was so fatigued from being ill i couldn't complete any of the repetitions of my three heaviest sets of jerks from the rack. 

In the morning my family and i will be leaving for Lubbock Texas to say goodbye to my favorite aunt. She has cancer and is in heart failure. The stress & emotions of traveling out of state & having a loved one leaving this life won't be good for my taper or help me heal up from my illness. 

My Aunt who we'll be visiting used to have me stay the summers with her and her husband. Those summers meant the world to me. It was one of the few times in my childhood i felt safe. She took care of me and loved me like one of her own children.  I've never had anyone who i love this much die. This is going to hurt. But i sure am glad for the time i had with her. She has been such an angel, and a source of hope and strength for me  my entire life. 

On Monday while in Lubbock I'm supposed to hit a small workout building up to the weight of my opening lifts of 78k & 98k. The last time i was in Lubbock Texas i trained at Compass CF. They were awesome about letting me use their facility. The trainer and the athletes were really friendly. I'm hoping they'll let me use their gym again while I'm there.

taper for olympic weightlifting

This week I'm tapering for my 2nd big weightlifting competition called "the Kevin" which will be held at miller weightlifting in Santa Fe NM. This is the 2nd time I've tapered for Olympic weightlifting. Tapers suck a lot less for weightlifting than they did for triathlon. A lot less!

Both endurance athletes and weightlifters do what's called a taper for big events. Tapering, especially in endurance athletics makes athletes feel like crap. Some of the symptoms of tapering are: Feelings of losing fitness. Sluggishness. Panic that the race or competition is approaching. Grumpiness. Aching muscles and nagging pains. Inability to sleep and feeling constantly tired. These are all normal. Your body has been pushed to its limits for months and now it does not want to stop. That is your mind telling you that you are going to be out of shape in a week. Trust the taper. Tapering is a vital part of the overall training cycle. This allows you to maintain your peak fitness while allowing your muscles to rest and recover.

Ironman Arizona Taper time

On Friday I completed my last long run at my favorite run course, Ranch Viejo sub division. Rancho Viejo is located just south of the Santa Fe community college. I ran 3 times around the outer trail surrounding the subdivision, each lap is a 6.3 mile challenging loop with lots of hills and glorious views. After the run I felt great. I was amazed at how great I felt! This year my long distance running has been at an all time best! I can run longer and faster than ever before. I ran 19.3 miles with less fatigue I'd normally experience running for only two hours!

Then on Saturday I completed my longest brick of the year. I rode my bike from the Santa Fe Rail Runner 550 station into Albuquerque via Highway 14, then to the Sandia Casino, then back up to Paseo Del Norte & Wyoming. 77 miles total. From there I threw on my run shoes and took my 6 year old daughter with me on her bike for a run. She and I went 6.1 miles keeping a 10 minute per mile pace. My baby girl is a cycling animal! I can’t wait until she’s old enough to compete in some junior cycling races. She'll kill it!

On the bike portion of my brick I averaged just shy of 14 MPH. The reason for me riding so slow is my triathlon bike was destroyed in September, I’m now riding on an old, slow, off brand road bike. It’s 2-3 mph slower than my triathlon bike. Don’t get me wrong, I love my road bike regardless of how slow it is. I’m grateful to have this bike to use as a spare. A slow bike is better than no bike!

Pre-race sickness

The last 3 days I've been dealing with the worst allergies I've ever had. It wasn't until I woke up this morning that I realized it wasn't alergies, I was sick. I woke up & felt horrible. I tried to go on my scheduled 60 minute run & struggled, I ended up having my first asthma attack in over a year. I knew I should have taken the day off from training, but I can't take a day off without feeling overwhelming guilt & stress. Guilt & stress makes me want to turn to food for comfort, & overeating for any reason is not good for triathlon, speed, or endurance.

I have found through trial & error that getting sick 1 to 2 weeks before a race is a sure sign that I'll have a smoking fast race. When I push myself as hard as my body will go, that breaks my body down, then I have a couple weeks of lower intensity training, and wallah! my body supercompensates, & I end up with a perfect taper & perfect race. But getting sick 3 days before the Holloman duathlon, the worst of it hitting the day before the race not a good sign at all.

This is the life of an endurance athlete. All I can do is show up, ignore the pain, & push myself as hard as I can & leave it in Gods hands. That exactly what I'll do.

By the way, remember those run shoes that I raced in at the Mesa Valley Triathlon that had given me such horrible blisters? I'm wearing them again baby!!!

My little monkey girl & my taper

When my daughter was 2 years old I told her the way she came into our life & how we became her parents. I told her that her Mom & I were walking out in the forest & found the prettiest baby monkey we'd ever seen. We picked that baby monkey up, took it home, shaved it, & named it Belle. I even have a picture of a new born orangutan & I tell her the picture was her before we shaved her. To my amusement she has always believed this story.

Tonight out of nowhere my daughter asked me if monkeys bite? I said yes. She asked me in horror if she did that to me when I tried to pick her up in the forest & take her home. Ha! Then she told me the reason she can swing across the monkey bars by herself & the other kids in her pre-k can't is because she was a monkey & they weren't. Like a good Dad..... I agreed.

My pulled quad is completely healed up, but unfortunately my training isn't going well at all. I've been feeling exhausted & slow in training & I can't seem to get my diet back under control. I've gained 7 pounds in a little over a month. My A race is this coming Sunday. I'm thinking I won't have a decent race. The problem is I'm struggling with self coaching. I seem to be getting fast during my training, but when it's time to taper everything ends up falling apart.

I've always been told tapering is more of an art than a science, & I'm a black & white kind of a person, which is why I can't seem to get this whole supercompensation thing down. I've been self coaching since last September & have ended up messing up everyone of my A races. I'm not sure if it's the taper or the peak phase of my routine I'm having difficulties with. But regardless of what the problem is there's definitely a problem. & this problem is messing with my most important races of the year, which is a really big problem.

I purchased a pair of ZOOT triathlon specific shoes to race in at the Patriot triathlon.

The similarity of the taper blues, pregnancy, & PMS

My wife & I started talking about the similarity of a taper to pregnancy & PMS.

"when I was pregnant my ankles were swollen," she said.
"My feet don't fit into shoes," I replied (after my 1.5 mile run, 32 mile bike with 7X 1 mile max effort hill climbs, then a 2nd run of 5 miles with 9X quarter mile sprints).
"I wanted to sleep all the time."
"I do too!"
"My back hurt."
"Mine does too!"
"I had weird cravings for Taco Bell Mexican pizzas" she said.
"And Wienerschnitzel Chile cheese hamburgers & Chile cheese french fries!" I threw into the mix as my mouth was watering!
"I was emotional & got hurt feelings, & angry for no reason," she said.
"Yes, yes, me too!"
"You do sound like your pregnant! Or having PMS." she said.....

.....I didn't find her last comment very amusing, true or not. Which of course it is true... but regardless I had no idea how similar the symptoms of triathlon training, pregnancy, &, er, well, PMS were.


So, as you see I'm into my taper. I'm getting the taper blues. As any endurance athlete can tell you tapering causes bi-polar type issues with the body & mind. The harder the training block the athlete endured the harder the taper is to endure-for both the athlete, & the friends & loved ones of the triathlete.

I recently pushed myself harder than I ever have before. In the month of March not only did I set personal run & bike mileage records, I also completed more hill repeats, lactate threshold sets, & speed work than I ever dreamed I would or could. I was focused, dedicated, & pushing myself farther than I had ever imagined. Consequently this taper is feeling particularly difficult. One day I feel like I can bike or run better than any athlete in the world! The next I feel like a 3 toed sloth on a bicycle. One minute I'm setting personal best training days, the next I'm winded & needing to rest after climbing a single story of stairs. I'm starting to feel pains that I freak out on, thinking they are injuries, but disappear in days or in hours:(

I feel constant fatigue, I'm needing more sleep now than I did when I was hammering out the big & fast miles. Like I said earlier in my post, I'm hyper sensitive, grouchy, moody, even angry at times. I'm over reacting to the smallest transgression, sometimes even to imagined slights. I'm having massive food cravings!!! & to think us triathletes do this to ourselves on purpose!!!!

Because of the taper I have been backing off on my workouts. I'm reducing my training 30% during 1st week of the taper, 50% week 2, and 75% week 3 which is race week.

I have always been told to use the above described reduced training plan as a guideline, and to back off more if needed. The number one rule during a taper is to let your body heal, rest, and reboost from all the intense training. I'll let you know how the taper goes, if I can get my lazy butt out of bed to do anything as physically demanding as blogging. Ugh, I'm so tired! & did I mention I'm crazy hungry? I'd kill for some Wienerschnitzel Chile cheese hamburgers & Chile cheese french fries!!! But no! I can't touch 'em, because I'm down to 190 pounds!!! & I need to avoid putting on any weight before my race! April 25th is the date! White Rock is the place! Put The Atomicman duathlon on your calendar peeps because this former Clydesdale is going to rock that course!!!!