January 10, 2016

a weigtlifting taper, weight gain, and an absentee Dad

My weightlifting meet is on Saturday. I'm really looking forward to it. Unfortunately my peak was three weeks ago. This taper was just too dang long to hold onto any significant strength. I feel like crap. That sucks big balls, but i think i still have enough in the tank to qualify for the master's national championships.

After hiring a nutrition coach I lost 18 pounds in 9 weeks. Then the family and I drove to Las Vegas to visit my half brother for a week. I came back weighing 310 pounds, gaining back half the weight I lost in 9 weeks of dieting. That sucks big balls too. But i gotta stick with it. I want to apply for a job at UPS or FEDEX, and it's doubtful they'd hire a guy as fat as me to do such a vigorous and hard job.

While visiting my half brother in Nevada I found out that my natural father and my step mom had gone on a really long road trip to visit all their kids for Christmas. They drove from Truth Or Consequences New Mexico to Denver Colorado to visit my Dad's step son for a few days, then drove from Denver to Las Vegas Nevada to spend a few days with their son there. They didn't come visit me. Hell, he didn't even call the kids or I. They live less than 3 hours away from me. I've only seen my Dad once in the last 2 years, and that was for less than a 90 minute visit. He made it absolutely clear he couldn't get out of there quick enough. I realise I was a really fucked up kid who wasn't easy to get along with. But I've worked really hard to turn myself into a loving and dedicated husband, an involved and patient father, a good hearted man who's compassionate, responsible, trustworthy, and loyal. It breaks my heart that he wont take the time to know the man who I grew up to be, because I think i turned into a good one. And what hurts worse is that my kids have to pay for it. They're growing up not knowing anyone from my side of the family. And they are the only innocent ones in this situation. They're beautiful and perfect. But he's not willing to get to know him either.