Better days

After years and years of working 80-90 hours work weeks I'm finally to the point that I'm working less. I particularly love Tuesdays and Thursdays. I don't work until later in the day on those two days. So I wake up very early and workout before the sun comes up so that I can get back in time to hang out with my kids before school. Then I drive my daughter to school. It's just her and I. She really seems to enjoy that special alone time. So do I. After I get back from dropping off my daughter I take my two sons to school early and we play basketball or football until the school bell rings. I'm creating a lot of wonderful memories with them. This is probably the happiest I've ever been. That's a big difference from the 10.5 years my wife continually put us in bad financial positions that forced me to work ungodly amounts of hours that caused me to be miserable and depressed to the point of contemplating suicide. Since working less I've grown closer with my children, and have started working on me. I'm working out, getting stronger, losing weight, and am happier. These are good times.

Training ups and downs

On Monday I had a horrible squat day. On Wednesday I had by far the best day of deadlifts I've ever had in my life. Then this morning I had a total crap day of CrossFit. I used to let the ups and downs effect me emotionally. I'd feel on top of the world in every aspect of my life on a good day of training and I'd feel like the world had caved in on me if I had a bad day of training. I'm learning to not allow the highs and lows to effect me as much. I'm trying to remember that training is like bouncing a ball while traveling up hill.  There are a lot of small ups and downs. But the end effect is still going in an upward direction.

For a long time I was angry and resentful. I'd been forced to work 80-90 hours a week for so long I was depressed and had lost hope of a decent life. I haven't worked any overtime since October. Just 36-40 hours a week. Not working as much, being able to spend time with my kids, and time to workout has done miracles for my happiness and contentment. This week was the first time in over a decade that I felt that I was glad to be married.

Life in Albuquerque

I'm finding myself blogging almost daily. Occasionally I'll post twice a day. It's been a long time since I've been so excited about something that I've done that. I'm getting stronger, I'm loosing weight, getting faster, building endurance, and having so much fun doing it all. I've found a great niche here in Albuquerque. I have a great powerlifting coach who is understanding about me wanting to supplement Powerlifting with CrossFit for health and weight loss reasons. I really love my CrossFit gym, the coaches, and members there. The support and encouragement I'm getting from both the Powerlifting and CrossFit community is awesome. And most importantly I'm not killing myself working overtime anymore. I have time to spend with my kids, working out, and time for myself. I think the word I'm looking for here is content. I'm content. I'm perfectly happy just the way things are. I still want to loose some more weight, get faster, stronger, and build more endurance. But I'm enjoying the journey instead of just obsessing about the end goal.

Thursdays WOD from hell

On Thursday I did another brutal WOD. By far the worst one I've ever done. I usually love the grueling Metcons. But this one was so hard it wasn't fun at all. It hurt. Bad. I was the slowest of the entire box again. And I want even close to the men's RX weights. I don't mind being the slowest. But I'd at least like to be somewhat close to the next slowest. I completed it in 21:52. The next slowest was almost 5 minutes faster than me. But, I'm showing up. I'm giving my best every workout. I'm slow. But I work hard. And eventually the training and flexible dieting will pay off. Eventually I'll be fast, strong, and no longer obese. This horrible workout was 4 rounds of:
15 burpees
12 DB deadlifts
9 DB hang squat cleans
6 DB thrusters.
It was hell.

Today is my 42nd birthday.  A couple more years and I'll age up into the Masters division 45-49 age group. I can't believe I've made it this long. I always assumed I was going to be killed on duty during the 21 years I was a correctional officer at the New Mexico state penitentiary. Or die from being worked to death. I worked 80-90 hours a week from 2006-a month ago. 10.5 years. I'm so glad to be alive, to no longer having to kill myself working double shifts, to br healthy enough to train and compete in athletic events, and being a father to three gorgeous children.

Powerlifting and CrossFit two-a-days

My weight hasn't changed in three weeks. But my physique has. I was surprised at how much it has. Yesterday I put on pants that haven't fit me for almost two years. My strength has exploded the last month too. At first when I started CrossFit i had to slow down with powerlifting and weightlifiting. But my body has already adapted. I'm up to powerlifting training 4 days and CrossFit 3 days a week. I no longer feel sore or exhausted. After the New Mexico USPA powerlifting state championships on December 9th I'm going to try doing a two-a-day a week. Powerlifting in the AM and CrossFit in the PM. 4 workouts of each every week. That'll give my body another month to get into good enough shape to handle a two-a-days. But since I'm not going to attempt it until after the USPA state championships I know I'll be showing up with good training without worry of overtraining for the meet. The powerlifting meet is too important to risk injury or overtraining. I'll be attempting to defend my New Mexico USPA championship state championship.

The biggest reason for getting so out of shape was that I had worked 80-90 hours a week for the last 10.5 years. I was chronically fatigued and didn't have enough time to train or prepare food. But I'm refusing to work that many hours anymore.i threw down an ultimatum. Next time my wife makes a bad life decision that would force me to work rediculous amounts of overtime to fix, we're getting a divorce. She seems to have fixed her spending and bad life decisions. We'll see. but either way, I'm never working like that again.

Day one back in the weight room

Yesterday was my first day of no longer working obscene amounts of overtime. After work yesterday I went to the gym. I haven't worked out consistently in almost a year. It felt great to get in there again. I'm pretty sore today. But again, I love it. It feels great.

Now that I've realized I need to make my health and happiness a priority i feel like a weight has been taken off my shoulders. I've realized the only one in this relationship who cares about my health and happiness is me. No more work weeks above 48hrs. If she makes more bad life decisions or wants a luxury item she needs to save for it or go out and earn extra money. It's as easy as that. I'm not going to kill myself with overtime anymore. 11 years of 80-90 hour work weeks was enough.

I also need to realize I'm partly to blame. At anytime I could have simply refused to work as many hours as I was. I should have. I didn't.

Training starting and working much less

Earlier this week my boss cut my hours from the 73 a week I had been working. At first I was freaking out. But I eventually realized this was the best possible thing for me. I emailed coach Vernon Smith and told him I wanted to hire him as my powerlifting coach. He had an opening for a client! The only down side was the days I'll be working out would be Wed, Fri, Sat, & Sun. Three days in a row is not a perfect training scenario. So today I called up my boss and told him I didn't want to work a 2nd shift on Monday's anymore. He agreed. So now I'll be able to work out Mon, We'd, Fri, and once on the weekend. From here on out I'm going to be spending more time working out, spending time with my kids, and sleeping. I'll never allow myself to be forced into working 70-90 hours a week ever again. I'll still be working 52 hours a week. So it's not like I've become a complete lazy slacker...... Could this be the fist step in me becoming happy for the first time in 11 years?

Dreams of spare time

I'd been working so many hours for so long that I had began to forget how to dream. I forgot what it was like to have enough spare time to do anything I want in life. To workout, to prepare meals, to have hobbies..... Since advising my wife I won't be working more than 48 hours a week as of November 1st I've started to day dream what my life will be like. Spending more time with my kids, making and having friendships, working out, sleeping a full 8 hours, being competitive in athletics. For the first time in over a decade I'm excited about about life. For the first time in 11 years I believe I'm going to be happy. I don't think my wife will be happy when she cashes my check with ungodly amounts of overtime. But I don't care anymore. She can either adjust her unrealistic lifestyle expectations or go and find someone else who can afford her.

Marriage is slavery

I've been married for 13 years. I've worked 80-90 hours a week for the last 11 of them. I'm not a workaholic. I don't enjoy working extra hours. I'm beyond unhappy. I'm miserable. From very early in our marriage my wife had unrealistic lifestyle expectations. She spent more than two men could earn. And I had to work more than two men combined to try and out earn her spending.

I always wanted to be a doting husband. A selfless provider who put my wife's need above my own. My assumption was always that if I did enough for my wife, if I gave her the things she said would make her happy, if I sacrificed more than any other man could that she'd eventually love me enough that I wouldn't have to anymore. I was wrong. She'd rather me be exhausted, overworked, missing my kids, and depressed than to go without extra money or the things money can buy. I'm nothing more than a wage slave. A utility to have resources extracted from. I've known this for quite awhile. But I just kept trying. I'd work harder and I'd spend less so she could have more in the hopes I could finally win her over and have her choose me. In the hopes she'd love me enough to not want me to suffer anymore. All the while I'd beg and plead with her to please spend less so I could have a normal life. So I could work normal hours, have time with my kids, have hobbies, and be able to sleep a full 8 hours. Oh how I miss sleep! But last night I finally accepted the truth. She's ok with me suffering as long as she gets what she wants. She'll never put me and my needs above her own wants and desires. Last night I told her after the trip to New York in October I won't be working overtime anymore. If she wants something she'll have to save for it like responsible adults are supposed to do. There's been other times in  the past that I've told her I won't be working overtime. I've told her she won't be allowed to spend more than we make anymore. She always threw a fit. She'd say manipulative things. She'd try using shaming language. She'd blame me and try to play the victim role. I'd always cave in. I'm hoping this time I'll stand my ground and do what's best for the whole family. Me being home would be better for my kids, our marriage, and me. She definitely won't like it. She'll have to learn to accept it or file for a divorce. At this point I've been used and abused by her for so long I'm ok with either decision she makes.

After we get back from New York in October I'm getting back into athletics. I'm hiring a coach, probably coach Vernon Smith, I'll be eating right, sleeping enough, and for the first time in 13 years I will make sure I'm happy. She won't like it. But I don't care.

Great financial news

On May 31st, 7 days ago I finished paying off my father in law's funeral and our state tax bill. It took a few months of pounding out a lot of overtime. But it's finally paid off. I'm exhausted​ and ready to catch up on rest, but we're caught up with our finances.
I know I posted this a couple weeks ago. But here it is again. From 2007-2015 I worked 42,120 hours. That's 4,680 hours a year. An average person that works 40 hours a week works 2,080 hours a year. I averaged more than double that. Being put in a position that I was forced to work overtime for so long caused a lot of problems including but not limited to severe depression. I'd never struggled with depression before that. I'm really sick of overtime. I'm hoping this is the end of me having to hammer out overtime. It's doubtful. But I'm keeping my fingers crossed!

Yesterday I clean and jerked more than 84k for the first time in almost 7 months. Then I did an 86 and a 94. Then coach told me to try a 100k. I stood there on the platform staring at the bar for an eternity trying to pump myself up. Finally I tried. And it was easy. I was so excited and it felt so good I did it a few more times. Thankfully the old saying about muscle memory is true. It comes back quick.

Anytime my schedule changes and I can't lift at High Dessert Athletic Club I text my coach and ask for the workout so I can do it on my own. Yesterday coach Chavez told me not to text him anymore. That throws a wrench into things. I'm a Dad of three young kids. My schedule can be hectic. I guess on the days I can't train at High Dessert Athletic Club I'll just repeat last week's workout for that day. That's not ideal. But life happens. I just need to learn to improvise, adapt, and overcome. Even with no communication or guidance with workouts during schedule changes, he's still one of the best weightlifting coaches in the nation.

I did some investigating. From 2007-2015 I worked 42,120 hours. That's 4,680 hours a year. An average person that works 40 hours a week works 2,080 hours a year. I averaged more than double that. These are the types of things no one tells men and boys about marriage. If they did we wouldn't do it.

Track training, snatches, and overtime

Yesterday I snatched 84 kilos for reps. I didn't think I'd get back to this much weight so quickly after having taken 6 months off from injuries and work conflicts.

Today I did another track workout. 100 meter sprints at %90 effort. I feel a lot faster already. My kids were beating me badly when I started track training. After only two weeks I've closed the distance between us by about half. Pretty quick gains for someone in their 40's.

I'm guessing the last pay period of this month I will have replenished our emergency fund. I've been working a ton of overtime the last couple months. I'm greatfull I have a job that overtime is available.... But I'm really sick of overtime. I've worked more overtime in the last decade than most people work in a lifetime.

Athletes first kind of Strength​ Coaches

A little over a month ago my father in-law​passed away and I paid for the funeral. A couple weeks later we got hit with a $1,300 tax bill. Until I get our emergency fund back up to where it's supposed to be I won't be training. I'll be to busy working overtime.  It's not really a big deal. It'll probably only take me three or four months of 55 hour work weeks to replenish our emergency fund. I told my powerlifting coach, Rich Kahle what was going on. I told him I'd rehire him after we got caught up with our finances. He told me he wanted me to continue training and he'd program for me for free until I got caught back up. Of course I won't do it. If he's training me I'll pay him. There was a time when we were hurting really bad financially. My first weightlifting coach Shane Miller trained me for free back then. At that time I was working 80-90 hours a week to pay off my wife's debt. The only choice back then was train for free or not train. But we're in a lot better place now. I'll continue to pay him. No doubt about it. But think about it, how considerate was it that he offered to work for free? I was touched.