reevaluating my goals & the beginning of a family tradition

This Sunday I got the worst stomach flue I've ever had. I'll save you the gruesome details but along with the usual problems it also came with horrid cold shivers, the sweats, and aches all over. Although I'm well enough now to go to work, my stomach still gets upset if I eat anything other than bland foods. Most people would lose weight under those circumstances. Not me. I have to avoid foods like saltine crackers, Nila Wafers, & Graham Crackers because those are my comfort/binge foods. Even when I'm struggling to keep food down due to sickness I can still eat enough of them to gain weight, & today marks the third day of me being unable to eat anything but my kryptonite foods. Before I got sick I was 205, now I'm afraid to get on the scale for fear of what I'll see.

The good news is I feel motivated to start eating healthy again as soon as my stomach can tolerate it- tomorrow, hopefully. The desire to eat well comes as a relief to me. This is only the third time I've been at or below 205 since starting to compete in triathlons.When I'm at or below 205 pounds I'm very fast. Last September weighing 204 I qualified for the Half Max National Championships, something I had never even dreamed I could accomplish.

It's always some minor bump in the road such as this weekend that knocks me off the diet wagon. I've been on a roll continuously dropping weight the last few months. This will be my first true test of whether I can right the ship. I'm hoping & praying to God I can. The Red Man Half Iron is in 3 weeks & next year I'm planning on having "my year to remember", the kind of year I could sit around & tell my Grand kids about. That happening hinges upon whether I can stop the momentum of eating my comfort foods, it depends on whether the stress of being unable to be in complete control of my diet has started the landslide I've been all to often unable to control, it depends on whether I can stay on the diet wagon PLUS lose another 1o pounds after that.

The usual weight my body tends to want to maintain even with the high amounts of miles I log each week swimming, biking, & running is 227. My (new) goal is to race at no more than 195 all of 2010, but he truth be known I'd rather be at 185.

During this struggle I have had of loving ultra endurance triathlons, having a slow metabolism, & a tendency to eat for emotional support I've noticed a pattern. The lower I get my body weight, the more of a struggle it is to maintain that weight. If you frequent my blog you may have noticed my goals have changed. I had hoped of racing all of 2010 at 185 pounds, and dreamed of 175. Not anymore. I'm unsure, shaken to the bone. I keep thinking to myself,"how can this be happening AGAIN?". When in fact I don't yet know if it has.

I've dropped to my dream weight two other times. Each time I reached my goal weight I self destructed. I'm praying to God the combination of having lost weight much more slowly this time, having more knowledge of the nutritional needs of endurance athletics, & having a goal that isn't as strict will keep me on the right track this time. Or, perhaps I'm just fooling myself.

All of next years dreams, aspirations, & desires are dependant upon what I'm able to accomplish tomorrow with my eating. This time I have prepared myself with a contingency plan. This time when I start to feel myself crave foods &/or eating, I wouldn't just keep plugging along trying to ignore it like I had in the past, hoping the desire would go away on it's own. It never does. I always knew it wouldn't. "Failure to plan is planning to fail". This time I have planned that if at any time I feel like I am going to fall off the wagon, I'd go to a maintenance diet. Trying to maintain my weight rather than lose 2 pounds a week gives me an extra 1000 calories a day to eat & enjoy. That new plan, hopefully, starts tomorrow. So I guess you can tune in here to get the uncensored version of my eminent success or failure.

This year I planted a garden. Sunflowers, tomatoes, cantaloupe, green chili, jalapenos, yellow peppers, zucchini, grapes, & rhubarb. Fast forward to when the plants start to sprout, the zucchini looks nothing like a zucchini should. Once it's fruit stated to grow I though it was a watermelon. It wasn't until later I realized it's a pumpkin plant.

My wife & I are expecting baby #3 (if it's up to me it wont be our last) in October, so growing pumpkins this year seems appropriate. I have come to the conclusion that growing pumpkins every year would make a great family tradition to start on the year our October baby is due!

LOL. This is the life & times of a Christian triathlete, a father, & a husband of the woman I've always dreamed of. Who could have known all that would of resulted in so much time spent training, dieting, & chasing so many children:)