My wife is an amazing triathlon spouse, she's a blessing from God. She saw my blog post that I wasn't going to race the Redman triathlon because I was unable to fit all my Ironman training into my schedule, so she adjusted her life and her schedule for me so that I can fit in my long days. Long days being the bread and butter of Ironman triathlon training. So as of now it looks like I'll be training and racing in the 2012 Redman Iron distance triathlon after all. Thank God for my wife. I'm a lucky lucky man.
Great news, I'm back to eating healthy, eating moderately, and eating within my definition of abstinence from destructive over eating. Bad news is I now weigh 190 pounds, I gained 15 pounds in the 6 days that I was off the wagon. Sounds impossible right? Not for me. I ate over 11,000 calories a day during my 6 day binge. There are 3500 calories in a pound of fat. The math adds up. It's not normal, it ain't pretty, but my eating disorder is a part of who I am. Hiding from it wont change it.
I now have 2 days abstinence. I'm trying not to morn my loss of 460 days of abstaining from destructive eating, I'm trying to be gentle with myself. Beating myself up over my weight gain and loss of control wont do anything but trigger another relapse. Recovery isn't about perfection, it's about progress.