September 02, 2014

exercise bulimia

Well, as you saw from my last post I fell off the weight loss wagon again. I've dieted a thousand times and have never been able to continue to eat healthy or keep the weight off. The closest I came to abstaining from binge eating was 9 months of abstinence and 1.5 years of maintaining a healthy body weight. 
That one time of success I was doing a some things well:
- I was going to 12 step meetings
- I was working with a sponsor
- I was working the 12 steps
- I was praying
- I wrote out a meal plan daily
- I was exercising regularly

The things I was doing wrong:
- I was too obsessed with triathlon and put in so much time training it was taking a crazy amount of time away my family and God 
- I was an Exercise bulimic

I still can't figure out if I had that one long streak of success with my weight and eating because of the good things I was doing or if it was because of the bad things I was doing. 

I found something in the AA book that I'm afraid is me. In chapter 5 of the AA book it says:

"Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves."

I'm killing myself by overeating. I can't stop. I don't know what to do. My wife is starting to get scared. I can't stop.

1 comment:

Mona Malec said...

oh Cody. I love both you and your wife. I hear you.