The last week has been so stressful. Each of our vehicles broke down 18 hours apart, our swamp cooler is getting worked on, my wife and kids went camping with my emotionally abusive and controlling mother and her husband, my cousin and her kids are visiting, and I miss my natural father who still refuses to to call or visit. Friday and Saturday I missed my scheduled workouts which is my way of dealing with stress in a healthy way. So this weekend I ate like crap. I usually do when I'm stressed, but this weekends diet was REALLY BAD! worst few days of eating I've had all year. Yesterday I didn't eat anything with any protein in it, it was all crap. Last night I knew I screwed up when I woke up with excruciating leg cramps. My body was going catabolic, eating my own muscles.
Usually olympic weightlifting, especially snatch day, calms me, makes everything feel better. Thanks to having virtually no protein and nothing but crap all weekend this morning I missed all my big lifts this morning. No stress relief in being weaker than I was last week.
I desperately want to drop 60-70 pounds and maintain an average weight of 234 pounds so that I could bounce back and forth between the heavy weight and super heavyweight division, but to do that I'd have to control my eating and I don't see that happening. This whole binge eating thing never ends with me. Sometimes I can control it for a short while, but it always returns with a vengeance.