January 14, 2018
Competing when I suck
I'm at a pivital point with CrossFit. I'm trying to figure out if I'm going to quit or not. On one hand I know I need to do it because I'm in horrible shape. On the other hand I've never been this bad at a sport in my life. I've come in last place in the daily WODs all but a couple times. Not last in my heat, but last in the entire gym. Last out of all the times combined. I'm ok with being humbled. But I'm not so good at handling imbarrasment and humiliation. On Thursday I wasn't going to go unless the workout was a workout that had my strengths. It was. I didn't come in last place. 2nd to last. Doesn't sound that great. But to me, 2nd to last is huge. Last night I looked at today's workout. I wasn't going if it had a bunch of things I'm not good at. It was power snatches and pvc ab mat sit ups. I love sntaches. And I don't mind sit ups. I'm not great at them. But it's better than hand stand push-ups, ring dips, or pull-ups. So I showed up. And I didn't come in last today. I was 3rd from last. That's the best I've ever finished. Not dead last. I don't know if I'm doing better because I'm getting in better shape. If it's because I'm so much lighter. Or if others were milking it. I've lost 56 pounds so far. Moving faster is easier when you don't have to move as much weight. Well.... I guess if I'm making progress I should keep showing up. Tuesday is my next scheduled CrossFit day. And it's test Tuesday. I love test Tuesdays. I love a competition. Competition drives me. I don't like to loose. So on Tuesdays I usually do better than I usually could.