societies accepted prejudice

I'm well aware that some of my posts about my overeating aren't pretty, & that some people will be uncomfortable with my rampant & destructive overeating. I am trying to keep a promise I've made with myself- to accept responsibility while at the same time striving to shed guilt & leave shame behind I don't think I am shirking if I say I don't believe that I could have behaved any differently than I had. There is a paradox at work there. At each particular moment & with every bite of food I took in, I had a choice. By eating so rampantly, I made the wrong choice again & again. But in a broader, deeper way, I don't believe I had a choice at all. Something was controlling me.

If the exact nature of the fat disease is beyond my understanding, some of it's implications have become painfully clear to me during the 7 years I was overweight to obese. During the time of 2000-2007 I had been shunned for dates, heard unkind nick-names, I came to know firsthand about our culture's deep biases against fat people.

Like every form of prejudice, those biases interfere with our being seen as individuals. Once someone got to know me I became a person. I was Cody. But until that point was reached-if it ever was- I was a stereotype, a silhouette, a cut out with a rounded shape not deemed to be attractive.

If the bias against fat begins as a prejudice regarding how we look, it ends up running much deeper. People tend to make all sorts of assumptions about those of us who are fat. They tend to imagine that in some perverse way we have chosen to be fat & that we could be thin if only we'd get a grip & show some discipline, if only we'd rise up off our fat behinds & get some exercise. In allot of cases its not that easy. Unfat people tend to blame us for our burden even though its our burden, not theirs.

Not only do many people disapprove of us for being fat; they feel perfectly free to show it. Even now, in the 21st century, as we are finally becoming respectful of diversity in things like race & gender, we as a culture still seem to condone sneering & smirking at fat people. Unfat people seem to think it's fine to stare at what we order in restaurants & glare if it doesn't meet with their approval. Fat jokes are still a staple of so-called comedy on TV & in the movies. Fat stereotypes still abound. A fat man is likely to be presented as falsely jolly or a pathetic man. A greedy politician will nearly always have an ample belly. A hero's side kick may be portrayed as fat, for comic relief. The hero of course will be lean.

These insensitive representations of fat people are bad enough if we think of fatness simply as a human difference. They become simply inexcusable as we accept the idea that fatness isn't just a difference but a disease. Can you imagine civilized people making jokes about any other disease the way they make jokes about being fat?

Now, even if you refuse to admit that fatness is a disease let me ask you, why is it ok for our society to treat fat people like they are diseased. If your friends with one, or God forbid you date a fatty, -as if being with a fat man cast doubt on their own attractiveness. Some of the people I've debated this with say its because fatness is a choice. We are fat because we are to lazy not to be. Its true, I can, & did, just like any other fat person could, take steps to become thinner, or in societies eyes become better looking & more attractive. A person who gets cancer, isn't it their choice to get treatment. If they are unsuccessful at that treatment, could any person in their right mind make fun of them or treat them unkindly? People make that choice to treat fat people poorly all the time. I felt horrid about myself every moment I was fat. I didn't like myself. Others made me not like myself, because they acted like they didn't like me. Others treated me differently once I got fat who had never treated me poorly before. I'll never forget the day a family member whom I loved & trusted pulled me aside & told me to be a good Father & husband I needed to not be overweight. Why would he say that to me? I was still the same person I was before I had gained my weight. I feel so bad for people who are fat because of the way they are treated. Treating someone differently because they are fat, being uncomfortable having to talk to one, or being disgusted if you are on a blind date with one is a prejudice. Think prejudice is to harsh a word? Could someone imagine the uproar there would be if someone actually suggested a person of color get some kind of treatment to become less dark so that they will be more successful, trusted, or even accepted? How virulent is today's bias against fat? I recently came across a study in which a group of collage students were asked whom they would least likely marry. When the results were tallied, it turned out these students would Rather be wed to a cocaine user, a former mental patient, a shoplifter, a sexually promiscuous partner, a communist, an atheist, or a blind person than someone who is fat. Welcome to a fat persons life. That's what people hint, & even say to us everyday.

Be nice, fat people are human too. We have emotions just like everyone else, if anything we are even more sensitive than most because we are so often the brunt of mistreatment. Don't treat us differently because we're the same person no matter what we weigh. Its not healthy to be overweight, but we shouldn't be treated like we are doing something wrong.

Ethics and prison?

As a Correctional officer I often wonder what Ethics has to do with me. After all, I work in a prison; why should I care about ethics? The ones I keep watch over certainly did not care. Why in a prison should ethics matter? Isn't that the chaplains job? I think it matters because inmates watch me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. My fellow officers watch me 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. My fellow officers do because whether we want to acknowledge it or not, we work in teams. How we relate to each other is a matter of ethics. It is fundamental to being a human being. So, yes, even in prisons ethics matter; it matters even more here than in any other job in America. Ever hear the terms "Fair, Firm and Consistent"? Think that phrase does not go to the core of ethical behavior?

Consistent. To me that means I apply the rules to everybody: inmate or officer; to the staff on the tier, to the office personnel, to the adminstrative staff, to the tier porter; Black, White, Hispanic, Asian, Protestant, Jew, Muslim, Buddhist; I apply the rules equally to each and every one. I try as best as I can to apply the rules consistently, across the board.

Firm. Even in those situations where I feel uncomfortable, where a fellow staff member was weak and fell down and broke a rule and I have to own up to it, I must be strong in my conviction about being consistent. Every time I interact with an inmate, there are a group of inmates watching. In fact, they watch us 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. In a sense, the tier is a stage and I'm the actor on it. They are looking for that moment when I am weak. Some watch me to exploit my weaknesses. They are looking to see if I am are weak every time in that situation. They may even create a situation that is similar just to see if that is my weakness. But as a correctional officer, I have to be firm. I can bend, I can have my moment of weakness, but I have to return to that sense of firm as soon as I can. I have to maintain that sense of professionalism in order to be effective.

Fair. We are human. It is hard to be fair. There is the inmate who is always helpful. There are those inmates who get short changed through no fault of their own or anyone elses. But I must be fair. I must treat everybody equally. The only thing that I have going is my word: can I be trusted to do the right thing. And inmates and fellow staff know what is the right thing. When the system fails and fails in a major way, that may be the only thing that may save my life. The inmates will remember that this officer was fair, even when I did not need to be. Fair. Firm. Consistent. When I go out onto that stage, I model for inmates ethical behavior and what is the right thing to do. I want to be a guiding light. I want them to see that there is fruit on this tree, & if I am able to make a good enough of an example I may even be able to lead someone who is lost to Christ. Although I get my check from this fine state I live in, sharing the goodness of God is my #1 job & duty. I am a follower of Christ trying to meet others where they are and lead them closer to Christ. Why else would He have me working in a prison?