prayers please

My step Dad used to send me a lot of emails. Usually 5-10 a day. It was how we kept in contact. Sometimes the emails were personal. A lot of them were things he found on the Internet. Some jokes, some political emails (we had the exact same political views), or an interesting video (we had the same sense of humor too). Now that he's gone I keep going to my computer to
check my email, & it's empty. It's the first time I've ever had that happen. My
Dad has always sent me emails. He was retired & the computer was where he spent most of his time. I miss him. I suspect I'll always miss him. Perhaps not as badly as now, but not having him here makes me feel like there's an empty place in my life. I know I'll see him again because we are both Christians, both believers in Christ. But the lack of having him here right here has left a definite void. He was one of my biggest supporters.


As lonely as I am without him here it is much much worse on my Mom. He was the only person to ever fully accept my Mom for who she is. Her good & bad. My Mom is a determined person. She has a single minded determination like none I've ever seen. That makes her capable of accomplishing anything. But for some reason it also at times can make others uncomfortable. She often feels isolated & alone. My Dad was the only one who encouraged her and supported her through any & all of her"projects". Everyone else, myself included has had a tendency to tell her to slow down, to try & make her keep focused on other things in life. To not get so engulfed in that one new project she has partaken. Now that my Dad is gone I see she needs to be supported by those she loves. I should of seen it before. But better late than never I suppose.


My Mom told me the other day her true North is gone & her compass is ascue.
I don't know what to tell her. Her biggest- her only true supporter in her life
is gone. She's alone in a house where they have built memories together. But now it's only her.


My Mom has never handled emotional situations well. If anyone threw a project her way she'd complete it faster & better than anyone else in the world could. But when it comes to things of an emotional level, she just bottles them up.


It's been a hard couple years for my Mom. 2 years ago she lost her sister to cancer. She was 1 of her only 2 friends. Last week she lost her other best friend, my Dad. Earlier this year her other sister was diagnosed with an incurable form of cancer. All this was too much for my Mom to handle. She had a heart attack last night. Then she had another small one this morning after she found out her Mom fell & is now in a wheel chair. My Mom's doctor prescribed some nitroglycerine pills to my Mom & told her if she has more chest pains to take 1 pill every 5 minutes. If after 15 minutes she is still having chest pains to call 911. She has an appointment at the Heart Hospital of New Mexico on Friday. If there are any Christians reading this, prayers are desperately needed. I couldn't handle losing both my Mom & Dad. Especially so close together.