Back in the day, when I was an endurance athlete, I was on calorie restriction for what felt like FOREVER. One of the lessons I learned while staying endurance athlete light (gaunt) was that I needed to take a break from calorie restriction on occasion. I can tell when I need to stop dieting and go into a maintenance phase because I start resenting having to eat less than I want and I start craving lots and lots of crap! I hit that point of food obsession this weekend. For the next 1 to 2 weeks I'm going to maintain my body weight. After the food cravings go away I'll go back to dieting again. While my calories are increased not only will I be preparing my body to lose weight more comfortably but I'll gain more strength too. More food and an increase in strength, it's going to be a fun couple weeks!
I'm currently weighing 260 lbs. I've lost 20 pounds since picking up Olympic weightlifting. 54 more pounds to go until I've hit my goal of getting into the middle heavyweight division (94k weight class).
Showing posts with label food cravings. Show all posts
Showing posts with label food cravings. Show all posts
January 06, 2014
November 27, 2013
21 Tips for Getting Through the Holidays Abstinently
21 Tips for Getting Through the Holidays Abstinently
(Excerpted & edited from 21 Tips For Getting Through The Holidays Abstinently, OA Workshop, Port Charles, NY, 10/29/97, Summary of Members Suggestions )
1. Focus on the true meaning of the holiday or event rather than the food orgy that sometimes accompanies it.
2. Don't set yourself up to feel bad because of unrealistic expectations of what the holiday will bring. Sometimes we're with family, sometimes with friends, sometimes we are alone. Face the reality of the situation beforehand. For example, if a family occasion almost always turns unpleasant, plan not to be part of the unpleasantness. If you're going to be alone, face that you may face sadness. Plan to deal with it, without excess food.
3. Build up your recovery bank account before and during the holidays by attending lots of meetings, working extra hard on your 12-Steps and using all the tools, especially service. Keep in constant contact with your sponsor. The disease doesn't take holidays, nor should our recovery.
4. Keep your OA phone numbers with you at all times. Use them.
5. Know the limits of your recovery. When in doubt, avoid persons, places and things that have in the past triggered overeating. The party is not worth it. Choose not to attend if you feel it may be a major problem. Remember that abstinence, one day at a time, has to be the highest priority in your life. Without it, all other things suffer.
6. From the food perspective, treat the holiday like any other day. Our disease never takes a holiday.
7. Plan something special for yourself when other people are eating sugary desserts that you choose not to include in your food plan. Special teas, hot water and lemon, fruit, or anything that's a little special for you.
8. Whether attending a holiday gathering or ordinary party, choose to focus on the people rather than the food. Pick out people and engage them in "real" conversation. If they don't want to play, go to the next one. People like to talk about themselves. Ask them about themselves, their life, their work -- and really listen.
9. Try to really connect with people at the holiday table. Make food a secondary thing.
10. At Halloween there is no law that says you have to give out candy. We're not doing these kids a favor by giving them junk food. Give nutritious things or money. Do not give out things you would not consume yourself. Then there's no problem with leftovers.
11. Set an extra place beside you (in your mind or for real) at the table for your Higher Power.
12. Remember step two. It says that with the help of a Higher Power we can be restored to sane eating behavior. Call on your Higher Power. HP can keep you sane, one day at a time, one meal at a time.
13. During the holidays get out of yourself by giving service, any service, whether it's to Program, to needy individuals, or to the community. Do something that may be a little hard for you, but that you know you will feel good about later. Give yourself something to respect yourself for.
14. Plan! Plan! Plan! Be proactive toward the holidays and the meals. Don't just lay back and hope for the best. Rehearse in your mind over and over exactly what you will do, particularly what, where and when you will eat. Pray just before sitting down to the meal.
15. Just before sitting down to eat, or just before being served, go to a private room somewhere in the house or restaurant, call your sponsor, and commit what you are about to eat, as well as what you will choose not to eat. It makes no difference whether you get your sponsor or an answering machine. It's your commitment.
16. If you're visiting others for a holiday dinner, it's up to you to know what is being served and whether it is something that you choose to eat. Call the host. Plan accordingly. People understand others' food limitations. Even people without our disease have foods they don't eat for one reason or another. Volunteer to bring something that's good for you. The host thinks you're gracious and you're taking of yourself!
17. Remember that you are responsible for what you eat. It's easy when sitting with family to slip into old childish roles where you feel you must eat whatever you're given. It's not true. We are adults and responsible for our own choices. It's up to us to take care of ourselves. It's up to us to set whatever parameters or boundaries we need to set with our families.
18. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. There is nothing as good for staying abstinent -- particularly during the Thanksgiving season -- than focusing on the many things we have, rather than what we don't have. Do gratitude lists frequently.
19. How about writing a little card/note to each person who will be at the Thanksgiving dinner table telling them why you're grateful to know them? Leave it at their dinner place. The focus will quickly get to the real meaning of Thanksgiving rather than on the food.
20. For many of us the most dangerous period for our abstinence is after we have successfully gone through a difficult occasion. The insanity of our disease subconsciously or consciously tells us to reward ourselves with food because we did so well yesterday. Or, we suffer some kind of letdown about the occasion. It didn't meet our expectations. Some of us feel an emptiness after holidays that in the past we have tried to fill with food. For these reasons, plan to go to meetings the next day after the holiday.
21. A holiday is not a crisis. Holidays come every year. They are simply calendar times set aside to honor certain things. We deal with the holidays just like we deal with the rest of the days in the year. You can do it. Relax and work your program the way you know how. One Day at a Time
(Excerpted & edited from 21 Tips For Getting Through The Holidays Abstinently, OA Workshop, Port Charles, NY, 10/29/97, Summary of Members Suggestions )
1. Focus on the true meaning of the holiday or event rather than the food orgy that sometimes accompanies it.
2. Don't set yourself up to feel bad because of unrealistic expectations of what the holiday will bring. Sometimes we're with family, sometimes with friends, sometimes we are alone. Face the reality of the situation beforehand. For example, if a family occasion almost always turns unpleasant, plan not to be part of the unpleasantness. If you're going to be alone, face that you may face sadness. Plan to deal with it, without excess food.
3. Build up your recovery bank account before and during the holidays by attending lots of meetings, working extra hard on your 12-Steps and using all the tools, especially service. Keep in constant contact with your sponsor. The disease doesn't take holidays, nor should our recovery.
4. Keep your OA phone numbers with you at all times. Use them.
5. Know the limits of your recovery. When in doubt, avoid persons, places and things that have in the past triggered overeating. The party is not worth it. Choose not to attend if you feel it may be a major problem. Remember that abstinence, one day at a time, has to be the highest priority in your life. Without it, all other things suffer.
6. From the food perspective, treat the holiday like any other day. Our disease never takes a holiday.
7. Plan something special for yourself when other people are eating sugary desserts that you choose not to include in your food plan. Special teas, hot water and lemon, fruit, or anything that's a little special for you.
8. Whether attending a holiday gathering or ordinary party, choose to focus on the people rather than the food. Pick out people and engage them in "real" conversation. If they don't want to play, go to the next one. People like to talk about themselves. Ask them about themselves, their life, their work -- and really listen.
9. Try to really connect with people at the holiday table. Make food a secondary thing.
10. At Halloween there is no law that says you have to give out candy. We're not doing these kids a favor by giving them junk food. Give nutritious things or money. Do not give out things you would not consume yourself. Then there's no problem with leftovers.
11. Set an extra place beside you (in your mind or for real) at the table for your Higher Power.
12. Remember step two. It says that with the help of a Higher Power we can be restored to sane eating behavior. Call on your Higher Power. HP can keep you sane, one day at a time, one meal at a time.
13. During the holidays get out of yourself by giving service, any service, whether it's to Program, to needy individuals, or to the community. Do something that may be a little hard for you, but that you know you will feel good about later. Give yourself something to respect yourself for.
14. Plan! Plan! Plan! Be proactive toward the holidays and the meals. Don't just lay back and hope for the best. Rehearse in your mind over and over exactly what you will do, particularly what, where and when you will eat. Pray just before sitting down to the meal.
15. Just before sitting down to eat, or just before being served, go to a private room somewhere in the house or restaurant, call your sponsor, and commit what you are about to eat, as well as what you will choose not to eat. It makes no difference whether you get your sponsor or an answering machine. It's your commitment.
16. If you're visiting others for a holiday dinner, it's up to you to know what is being served and whether it is something that you choose to eat. Call the host. Plan accordingly. People understand others' food limitations. Even people without our disease have foods they don't eat for one reason or another. Volunteer to bring something that's good for you. The host thinks you're gracious and you're taking of yourself!
17. Remember that you are responsible for what you eat. It's easy when sitting with family to slip into old childish roles where you feel you must eat whatever you're given. It's not true. We are adults and responsible for our own choices. It's up to us to take care of ourselves. It's up to us to set whatever parameters or boundaries we need to set with our families.
18. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. There is nothing as good for staying abstinent -- particularly during the Thanksgiving season -- than focusing on the many things we have, rather than what we don't have. Do gratitude lists frequently.
19. How about writing a little card/note to each person who will be at the Thanksgiving dinner table telling them why you're grateful to know them? Leave it at their dinner place. The focus will quickly get to the real meaning of Thanksgiving rather than on the food.
20. For many of us the most dangerous period for our abstinence is after we have successfully gone through a difficult occasion. The insanity of our disease subconsciously or consciously tells us to reward ourselves with food because we did so well yesterday. Or, we suffer some kind of letdown about the occasion. It didn't meet our expectations. Some of us feel an emptiness after holidays that in the past we have tried to fill with food. For these reasons, plan to go to meetings the next day after the holiday.
21. A holiday is not a crisis. Holidays come every year. They are simply calendar times set aside to honor certain things. We deal with the holidays just like we deal with the rest of the days in the year. You can do it. Relax and work your program the way you know how. One Day at a Time
November 25, 2013
Thanksgiving, overeating, and Olympic weightlifting
In the 2 years I've been out of triathlon I've gained 105 pounds. I'm currently in my 3rd week of Olympic weightlifting training, so far I've lost 12 pounds. I'm currently 266 pounds. My goal is to get to the 85k weight class by the time I'll be competing in the masters 40-44, which is 13 1/2 months from now. I'm finally on a roll with training and weight loss.
Who doesn't struggle with their eating during the holidays? I know I do. Overeating on Thanksgiving wouldn't be that big of a deal if I could stop after that one day. But the next day there's leftovers- can't let them go to waste! After a couple days of binge eating pumpkin pie, stuffing and cranberry sauce, etc I've gained back a month of weight loss! And even after the leftovers are gone I've so thoroughly enjoyed eating whatever I want and however much I want that I still can't get my eating back under control. Sometimes I can't stop eating tons of crap until well after the new year. This year I want to make sure I keep on track to make my goal of dropping 79 pounds and reaching the 85k class by Jan 1st 2015, so I'm not going to have Thanksgiving with my family this year. I'm volunteering for a 16 hour work shift at at the prison. I'm not sure if this is a great idea to keep my eating under control or a bad idea because I struggle with social situations and have a tendency to keep myself isolated. Either way I have to lose an average of 5.86 pounds a month for the next 13 1/2 months to reach my goal and this year I WON'T be binge eating during the holidays!
Who doesn't struggle with their eating during the holidays? I know I do. Overeating on Thanksgiving wouldn't be that big of a deal if I could stop after that one day. But the next day there's leftovers- can't let them go to waste! After a couple days of binge eating pumpkin pie, stuffing and cranberry sauce, etc I've gained back a month of weight loss! And even after the leftovers are gone I've so thoroughly enjoyed eating whatever I want and however much I want that I still can't get my eating back under control. Sometimes I can't stop eating tons of crap until well after the new year. This year I want to make sure I keep on track to make my goal of dropping 79 pounds and reaching the 85k class by Jan 1st 2015, so I'm not going to have Thanksgiving with my family this year. I'm volunteering for a 16 hour work shift at at the prison. I'm not sure if this is a great idea to keep my eating under control or a bad idea because I struggle with social situations and have a tendency to keep myself isolated. Either way I have to lose an average of 5.86 pounds a month for the next 13 1/2 months to reach my goal and this year I WON'T be binge eating during the holidays!
February 04, 2013
Garcinia Cambogia Extract, appetite suppressant, emotional eating, and triathlon
Below the links is my post. The links are my posts about Garcinia Cambogia Extract:
Day 4 of Garcinia Cambogia Extract trial: http://cody-the-clydsdale.blogspot.com/2013/02/test.html
Recently I watched an episode of Dr Oz where he explains how Garcinia Cambogia Extract helps people to lose weight, curbs appetite, and helps prevent emotional eating by increasing serotonin levels. This interested me because I'm an emotional eater and I've gained a lot of weight the last year. I've tried unsuccessfully more times than I can count to get back down to my race weight. So I've decided to try exercise and eating a Paleo diet (again) with Garcinia Cambogia to see how it works. I'll post my results here.
Last year I'd heard on the Dr OZ show that Saffron extract helps with appetite suppression, I'd tried it, but it didn't work for me. It was AMAZING at suppressing the appetite, but Saffron extract didn't help me at all because it doesn't help prevent emotional eating. Supposedly Garcinia Cambogia extract does.
FYI, I went to three stores before I found some Garcinia Cambogia extract. Since Dr Oz had it on his show and said great things about it it's been sold out and hard to come by. It was $24 for 60 pills at the vitamin shop I finally found it at. When I got home I Googled Garcinia Cambogia extract and found most sites sold 180 pills for $24.99. So if at all possible buy them online. You can buy 3 times as many for the same cost and not have to drive all over the place.
Below is the article I found on Dr Oz web site. It almost sounds too good to be true!
What Is Garcina Cambogia Extract?
Garcinia Cambogia is a small, pumpkin-shaped fruit, sometimes called tamarind. Though native to Indonesia, it is also grown in India, Southeast Asia, and West and Central Africa. It has long been used in traditional South Asian dishes, including curries and chutneys. Many also use the fruit for curing fish and preservation.
Adding this ingredient to meals is considered to be effective in making meals more “filling.” In some villages in Malaysia, garcinia is used to make a soup that is eaten before meals for weight loss because of garcinia’s appetite-blocking abilities.
This plant offers one of the least expensive herbal supplements on the market. The ingredient from the rind of the fruit could hasten your weight-loss efforts. The natural extract is called hydroxycitric acid (HCA), and researchers claim that HCA can double or triple one’s weight loss.
With proper weight-loss efforts (dieting and exercising), the average person taking HCA lost an averagw of 4 pounds a month.
Garcinia may also be great for emotional eaters. Those who participated in the study showed an increase in their serotonin levels; hence, it may also improve mood and sleeping patterns.
How Does Garcina Cambogia Work?
The HCA extract from garcinia cambogia supplement aids in weight loss by doing two things: It helps to block fat, and it suppresses your appetite.
HCA blocks fat by inhibiting a key enzyme that your body needs to make fat from carbohydrates: Citrate lyase. Usually carbohydrates or sugars that are not used immediately or stored in other forms are converted into fats. When HCA inhibits citrate lyase, the fat-making process is halted and the production of LDL (bad cholesterol) and triglycerides decrease.
HCA also suppresses appetite by increasing serotonin levels. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter in your brain that makes you feel good. It’s a target of many antidepressant medications. Having low levels of serotonin may make you feel depressed or anxious; it drives many people into emotional or reactive eating. By increasing serotonin levels, HCA improves mood and suppresses the drive to react to stressful situations with food. As you eat less, your body senses this and it releases stored fat in your fat cells.
Many studies have shown promise. One randomized placebo-controlled study followed 60 obese persons for 8 weeks. With a calorie-restricted diet (1200 kcal/day) and an HCA dose of 1320 mg/day, the experimental group lost an average of 14 pounds (compared to 6.1 pounds in the placebo group). The participants also noted reduced appetite.
Is It Safe?
The plant and its fruit have been eaten safely for years. The HCA extract is also likely in safe amounts.
However, don’t take this supplement if you are pregnant or breastfeeding. If you are taking a diabetic medication (like insulin or glyburide), talk to a doctor before taking this to make sure this is right for you, otherwise this supplement may allow your blood sugar to fall even lower than normal.
Those taking a statin (a cholesterol-lowering drug) should use this supplement with caution because it can increase the risk of harmful side effects, like rhabdomyolysis or muscle degradation. Those with Alzheimer's disease or other forms of dementia shouldn’t take HCA because of the risk of worsening dementia.
How Much Should I Take?
You can buy garcinia cambogia extract in health food stores or online. When looking for a supplement, look for “garcinia cambogia” or “GCE” with at least 50% HCA (active ingredient potassium). Some experts believe that the newly available HCA potassium salts are more effective than the other HCA formulations.
Take 500-1000 mg before each meal, and make sure to take no more than 3000 mg total per day.
When looking for supplements, make sure you can see and review the list of ingredients. Do not purchase if you can’t see any ingredients. Furthermore, there should be no fillers or artificial ingredients.
With no other changes, you may lose 2-4 pounds within one month. However, it is highly recommended that the person taking HCA also find time for moderate exercise a few times a week and eat properly portioned meals. Let the power of the HCA supplement work along with making healthier choices.
Also, understand that no pill is more effective than maintaining a regular exercise regimen and a healthy diet.
Day 4 of Garcinia Cambogia Extract trial: http://cody-the-clydsdale.blogspot.com/2013/02/test.html
Recently I watched an episode of Dr Oz where he explains how Garcinia Cambogia Extract helps people to lose weight, curbs appetite, and helps prevent emotional eating by increasing serotonin levels. This interested me because I'm an emotional eater and I've gained a lot of weight the last year. I've tried unsuccessfully more times than I can count to get back down to my race weight. So I've decided to try exercise and eating a Paleo diet (again) with Garcinia Cambogia to see how it works. I'll post my results here.
Last year I'd heard on the Dr OZ show that Saffron extract helps with appetite suppression, I'd tried it, but it didn't work for me. It was AMAZING at suppressing the appetite, but Saffron extract didn't help me at all because it doesn't help prevent emotional eating. Supposedly Garcinia Cambogia extract does.
FYI, I went to three stores before I found some Garcinia Cambogia extract. Since Dr Oz had it on his show and said great things about it it's been sold out and hard to come by. It was $24 for 60 pills at the vitamin shop I finally found it at. When I got home I Googled Garcinia Cambogia extract and found most sites sold 180 pills for $24.99. So if at all possible buy them online. You can buy 3 times as many for the same cost and not have to drive all over the place.
Below is the article I found on Dr Oz web site. It almost sounds too good to be true!
What Is Garcina Cambogia Extract?
Garcinia Cambogia is a small, pumpkin-shaped fruit, sometimes called tamarind. Though native to Indonesia, it is also grown in India, Southeast Asia, and West and Central Africa. It has long been used in traditional South Asian dishes, including curries and chutneys. Many also use the fruit for curing fish and preservation.
Adding this ingredient to meals is considered to be effective in making meals more “filling.” In some villages in Malaysia, garcinia is used to make a soup that is eaten before meals for weight loss because of garcinia’s appetite-blocking abilities.
This plant offers one of the least expensive herbal supplements on the market. The ingredient from the rind of the fruit could hasten your weight-loss efforts. The natural extract is called hydroxycitric acid (HCA), and researchers claim that HCA can double or triple one’s weight loss.
With proper weight-loss efforts (dieting and exercising), the average person taking HCA lost an averagw of 4 pounds a month.
Garcinia may also be great for emotional eaters. Those who participated in the study showed an increase in their serotonin levels; hence, it may also improve mood and sleeping patterns.
How Does Garcina Cambogia Work?
The HCA extract from garcinia cambogia supplement aids in weight loss by doing two things: It helps to block fat, and it suppresses your appetite.
HCA blocks fat by inhibiting a key enzyme that your body needs to make fat from carbohydrates: Citrate lyase. Usually carbohydrates or sugars that are not used immediately or stored in other forms are converted into fats. When HCA inhibits citrate lyase, the fat-making process is halted and the production of LDL (bad cholesterol) and triglycerides decrease.
HCA also suppresses appetite by increasing serotonin levels. Serotonin is a neurotransmitter in your brain that makes you feel good. It’s a target of many antidepressant medications. Having low levels of serotonin may make you feel depressed or anxious; it drives many people into emotional or reactive eating. By increasing serotonin levels, HCA improves mood and suppresses the drive to react to stressful situations with food. As you eat less, your body senses this and it releases stored fat in your fat cells.
Many studies have shown promise. One randomized placebo-controlled study followed 60 obese persons for 8 weeks. With a calorie-restricted diet (1200 kcal/day) and an HCA dose of 1320 mg/day, the experimental group lost an average of 14 pounds (compared to 6.1 pounds in the placebo group). The participants also noted reduced appetite.
Is It Safe?
The plant and its fruit have been eaten safely for years. The HCA extract is also likely in safe amounts.
However, don’t take this supplement if you are pregnant or breastfeeding. If you are taking a diabetic medication (like insulin or glyburide), talk to a doctor before taking this to make sure this is right for you, otherwise this supplement may allow your blood sugar to fall even lower than normal.
Those taking a statin (a cholesterol-lowering drug) should use this supplement with caution because it can increase the risk of harmful side effects, like rhabdomyolysis or muscle degradation. Those with Alzheimer's disease or other forms of dementia shouldn’t take HCA because of the risk of worsening dementia.
How Much Should I Take?
You can buy garcinia cambogia extract in health food stores or online. When looking for a supplement, look for “garcinia cambogia” or “GCE” with at least 50% HCA (active ingredient potassium). Some experts believe that the newly available HCA potassium salts are more effective than the other HCA formulations.
Take 500-1000 mg before each meal, and make sure to take no more than 3000 mg total per day.
When looking for supplements, make sure you can see and review the list of ingredients. Do not purchase if you can’t see any ingredients. Furthermore, there should be no fillers or artificial ingredients.
With no other changes, you may lose 2-4 pounds within one month. However, it is highly recommended that the person taking HCA also find time for moderate exercise a few times a week and eat properly portioned meals. Let the power of the HCA supplement work along with making healthier choices.
Also, understand that no pill is more effective than maintaining a regular exercise regimen and a healthy diet.
April 01, 2012
Mesa Valley triathlon 2012 race report
Sunday April 1st 2012 the Mesa Valley triathlon was held in Las Cruces NM. It's a fast and fun course. The race director is Mark Mico of Tri Sport Coaching. He puts on the best races in the South West. The courses are always well marked, the results are posted very quickly, and the age group awards are top notch wooden plaques.
The Mesa Valley triathlon was my 79th multi sport race, and my 62nd triathlon.
The Mesa Valley triathlon was my 79th multi sport race, and my 62nd triathlon.I've never struggled with my eating the morning of a race before. Race mornings I've always ate perfectly, being totally focused on the race at hand. The morning of the Mesa Valley triathlon 2012 was the first time I'd ever binge ate before a triathlon. While warming up for the race my belly was uncomfortably full. I was afraid having ate as much as I did I'd struggle with stomach cramps during the race, but thankfully once the race started my body seemed to have no problems at all. I've been struggling with my eating disorder horribly in the past month, I haven't struggled this much in a couple years. I'm not sure what the reason has been. Somethings going on and if I don't figure it out I'm going to be back into the 290 pound range in no time.
I finished the triathlon in 1 hour 10 minutes 45 seconds taking 25th place out of 152 triathletes overall, and 2nd place in my age group of 14. I broke my previous Mesa Valley triathlon PR of 1 hour 23 minutes 10 seconds by 13 minutes! Considering I didn't train much in the off season, had gained 11 pounds in late March, separated my shoulder in a bike wreck last week, was unable to raise my right arm above shoulder height without a lot of pain, and was racing with about 10 pounds of extra food in my stomach I was very happy with my results.
I think God was watching out for me race morning. I was struggling with my addiction. My addiction has proven time and time again to be more powerful than my strongest will power and more cunning than my best laid out plan, and when it made it's unwelcome appearance in the worst possible time God stepped in on my behalf. My eating disorder may be to much for me to bear, but it's nothing for God to handle. That morning it was as if He was saying to me, "Take my yoke upon you, and learn of me; for I am meek and lowly in heart: and ye shall find rest unto your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."
"I'm listening God, I really am."
My next race will be the Spring Fling triathlon in Rio Rancho NM on April 22nd 2012. It will be my 3rd race of the South West Challenge Series. I currently have 19 points and am in 1st place in the 35-39 age group division.
June 22, 2008
Still standing
I took my family camping at Vallecito lake Colorado which is right right outside of Durango. We left bright & early on Tuesday, and returned late Friday night. The last non-triathlon vacation we had was last year about this same time. This trip was long overdue. We mostly did a lot of relaxing & family time. Since I've been working 72+ hrs a week since last September all that family time was a very special treat for all of us. I had brought all my training gear & had every intention of training each morning. Didn't happen. Not only did I miss 4 workouts in row, I also got hit with the "big one". I've been waiting for the "big one". I knew it was coming. I didn't know exactly when, but I knew it would come sooner than later. I have lost sleep over when it would show & how I would respond. Well it hit me this weekend, & it hit me harder than I had even had even feared it would.
What's the "big one" you ask? Eventually after I've lost weight I get hit with this overwhelming need to gain weight. I don't know why, I can't explain it. The "big one" is different than all the other binges I go on for the usual reasons of stress, overwhelming emotions, celebrations, etc. I know when the big one hits because its an uncontrollable & overwhelming need that goes beyond a physical craving like usual. I'm not sure if I can explain this properly, but it feels as if my body knows it's thin & there's an overwhelming need to thicken up. As best as I can tell when this happens to me it feels like I'm trying to build up emotional padding, & the weight is my defensive mechanism. When this feeling has hit me on the occasions I had lost a lot of weight I knew without any question to just throw away all my clothes I'd bought since I'd lost weight. There was nothing I could do but ride the binges to a new all time high body weight. I've gained as much as 60 pounds in a little over 3 months when the "big one" hits me. The only thing that's been consistent when this happens is that it's uncontrollable, & I'm unable to get back on the weight loss wagon for many many months. Usually years.
This time it hit me on Tuesday. No warning. But I recognized it when it hit. I'll save you the gory details. I recognized this binge & knew this binge was different from all the other ones. This was the one I'd been waiting for, it always finds me. From Tuesday until Saturday morning I had gone from 188 to 205 pounds. Yup, your reading that correctly. A 17 pound gain in 4 days. The amount I'd gained in such a short period of time wasn't unusual. The unexplainable feeling of comfort as I got visibly fatter each day wasn't unusual. But Saturday morning was unusual. Saturday morning I was happy -no I was elated! I had regained control. I may not know why the big one hits. But I know why this time was different. I have come to realize that my uncontrollable eating is not something that is happening to me because I'm weak. I didn't beat myself up by saying to myself such stupid things like "be a man, take control of yourself & stop eating!" I realized this was something that's a part of me. I don't know why. But it's going to happen. And when it does it is something that needs to be managed. It has nothing to do with self control or inner strength.
I tried to control the amount of eating I was doing (obviously I failed there). & I didn't dwell on what had happened thus far. I tried to minimize it to as small an amount of days as possible. In that aspect I did great! You may be thinking "dude, you gained the amount of weight in 4 days that took you 3 months to lose. What are you so dang happy about?". The point is my friend, for the first time in my life I was able to stop the downward spiral. I gained control. No, that doesn't explain it well enough. I stopped the uncontrollability. Yes, that's what I did.
I'm back to eating healthy. & now I'm armed with the knowledge that I can continue to live life eating healthy most of the time and being a relatively light & fast triathlete. I'm someone who can regain control of the darkest aspect of my life. Life is good, & with Gods help I'm in the drivers seat once again! I'll keep you informed how my 2 goals of getting below 200 again & to my ultimate goal of 185 is going.
What's the "big one" you ask? Eventually after I've lost weight I get hit with this overwhelming need to gain weight. I don't know why, I can't explain it. The "big one" is different than all the other binges I go on for the usual reasons of stress, overwhelming emotions, celebrations, etc. I know when the big one hits because its an uncontrollable & overwhelming need that goes beyond a physical craving like usual. I'm not sure if I can explain this properly, but it feels as if my body knows it's thin & there's an overwhelming need to thicken up. As best as I can tell when this happens to me it feels like I'm trying to build up emotional padding, & the weight is my defensive mechanism. When this feeling has hit me on the occasions I had lost a lot of weight I knew without any question to just throw away all my clothes I'd bought since I'd lost weight. There was nothing I could do but ride the binges to a new all time high body weight. I've gained as much as 60 pounds in a little over 3 months when the "big one" hits me. The only thing that's been consistent when this happens is that it's uncontrollable, & I'm unable to get back on the weight loss wagon for many many months. Usually years.
This time it hit me on Tuesday. No warning. But I recognized it when it hit. I'll save you the gory details. I recognized this binge & knew this binge was different from all the other ones. This was the one I'd been waiting for, it always finds me. From Tuesday until Saturday morning I had gone from 188 to 205 pounds. Yup, your reading that correctly. A 17 pound gain in 4 days. The amount I'd gained in such a short period of time wasn't unusual. The unexplainable feeling of comfort as I got visibly fatter each day wasn't unusual. But Saturday morning was unusual. Saturday morning I was happy -no I was elated! I had regained control. I may not know why the big one hits. But I know why this time was different. I have come to realize that my uncontrollable eating is not something that is happening to me because I'm weak. I didn't beat myself up by saying to myself such stupid things like "be a man, take control of yourself & stop eating!" I realized this was something that's a part of me. I don't know why. But it's going to happen. And when it does it is something that needs to be managed. It has nothing to do with self control or inner strength.
I tried to control the amount of eating I was doing (obviously I failed there). & I didn't dwell on what had happened thus far. I tried to minimize it to as small an amount of days as possible. In that aspect I did great! You may be thinking "dude, you gained the amount of weight in 4 days that took you 3 months to lose. What are you so dang happy about?". The point is my friend, for the first time in my life I was able to stop the downward spiral. I gained control. No, that doesn't explain it well enough. I stopped the uncontrollability. Yes, that's what I did.
I'm back to eating healthy. & now I'm armed with the knowledge that I can continue to live life eating healthy most of the time and being a relatively light & fast triathlete. I'm someone who can regain control of the darkest aspect of my life. Life is good, & with Gods help I'm in the drivers seat once again! I'll keep you informed how my 2 goals of getting below 200 again & to my ultimate goal of 185 is going.
June 01, 2007
Problem solved?
In Dec I had started the Paleo diet. It's a diet that you can eat all the lean meats, fruits, & veggies you want with no limits on portions or meal frequency. Limited amounts of nuts. On the Paleo a person isn't allowed ANY sugar, vinegar, dairy, grains, potatoes, corn, or anything that is processed at all. Not even canned tuna, or veggies because that is considered processed. Let me tell you, you lose a TON of weight! Along with the weight loss I also had an inability to think or concentrate well, I was moody, irritable, inability to sleep well, and I had HORRIBLE cravings. I emailed coach Pete and told him the side affects I was having and he replied "That means your missing something important from your diet". Simply put and dang good point coach! I should of realized it from the get go, all the signs were there. I blame my inability to see or think about how badly my diet was affecting me on my poor diet:)
The past 3 days I've decided to add some dairy and brown rice into my diet while keeping as much highly processed foods out. No wheat, bread, pasta, sugar, chips, etc. I'm eating every 3 hrs and if I get hungry in between meals I eat enough raw vegetables to stop my feeling of hunger. The last three days: NO CRAVINGS, sleeping well, thinking clearly, good quality workouts. Hopefully the problem is solved and I'm on my way to a lighter, healthier, faster, Iron me....
The past 3 days I've decided to add some dairy and brown rice into my diet while keeping as much highly processed foods out. No wheat, bread, pasta, sugar, chips, etc. I'm eating every 3 hrs and if I get hungry in between meals I eat enough raw vegetables to stop my feeling of hunger. The last three days: NO CRAVINGS, sleeping well, thinking clearly, good quality workouts. Hopefully the problem is solved and I'm on my way to a lighter, healthier, faster, Iron me....
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