November 11, 2013

my first day of Olympic weightlifting

Today was my first day of Olympic weightlifting at the Millers gym. After a thorough warm up I did a few sets of press, cleans, hang cleans, squats. He has me starting off very light. My max squat right now is around 127 kg (280 pounds), and my heaviest squat set today was only 55 kg (121 pounds). He said formerly trained athletes are the most at risk for injuries because our muscle pathways are accustomed to pushing much larger weights, but our muscles are not. That's the reason he wants me to start off with such light weights. I meet with him again on Wed. One of my co-workers is interested in going also. I'm hopping he shows so that I could have a buddy that could get into this sport with me.

I have an appointment tomorrow at the University of New Mexico's exercise physiology department to get my body fat tested. That will show me my starting point. I'll continue to get my body fat tested, and take pictures as I go along to see how I progress. I'll post my beginning weight, body fat percentages, and pictures tomorrow.

November 08, 2013

cyclling and Olympic weightlifting

I asked my Olympic weight lifting coach ,at least he will be my coach starting on Monday, if I could bike to burn some extra calories. His response was fascinating. He told me that since I am just starting out at Olympic weightlifting I could do any kind of exercise I wanted to help me loose weight. But once I get closer to my genetic max of lifting I'll need to stop doing any workouts that build slow twitch muscle tissue so that my body can build the most fast twitch muscles possible, particularly IIB, because they produce greater peak power and more force at higher velocities. Once to that point I'll still be able to bike, but will only be able to do short explosive interval training. (I highlighted the pertinent points in red below).

I wanted to find out more about the subject of the different types of muscle fibers and I found a great article on http://www.higher-faster-sports.com/fasttwitchmachine.html . I fact checked this by reading 3 or 4 articles on other web sites and they all seem to agree. This is the info I pulled off of the web page Higher-faster-sports.com:

The advantages of a certain fiber composition on performance in various sports is both obvious and well established -- For example, marathon runners have 75% slow twitch fibers while sprinters have 75% fast twitch fiber (both IIA &B combined).

The ratio of your fiber type is a result of:
(1) What you were born with
and
(2) Transformation of slow to fast or fast to slow through training influence.
Transformable Fibers

If you were to look at a muscle biopsy you’d see both red and white along with various shades of each. The white being pure fast twitch and the red being pure slow twitch. Think of eating chicken, the white meat (breast) is fast twitch. The dark meat (legs and thigh) is slow twitch. Chickens don't fly around very often yet when they do those muscles have to fire quicker, thus, their breast meat is fast twitch. Chickens walk around on their feet all day long thus their legs are slow twitch and better suited for endurance.

As mentioned before you can't take a completely red (pure endurance fiber) and turn it into a completely white (fast twitch) fiber but the intermediate fibers (IIA), which would be the various shades you see in a muscle biopsy are plastic and you can transform them into more of a red (slow twitch) version or more of a white (fast twitch) version. You can also take a pure white fiber and make it a little redder, or take a pure red fiber and make it a little whiter.
Canadian scientists, Drs. J. Simoneau and C. Bouchard, have estimated that 40% of the variance of fiber type is due to environmental influences (i.e. exercise) while 45% is associated with genetic factors. So that means you have about 40% control of your muscle fiber type, the other 45% you can do nothing about.

Real World Application

So how can you use this information and apply it in the real world? Well take someone who is say 50/50 fast vs slow-twitch. Over time and with proper training if he trains his nervous system to utilize 90% of all those available FT fibers and also increases the size of them he well then be able to outperform someone who has say an 80:20 fast to slow-twitch ratio.
In training you can accomplish this by focusing your training on strength, power, and speed dominant activities. By doing so you train your nervous system and all your muscle fibers to behave in more of a fast twitch manner. The reverse can also occur. For example, if one is blessed with a high % of FT fibers and starts marathon training the opposite will occur. I haven't talked much about endurance training but let me mention that it causes a rapid fast to slow transformation (IIb to IIa and IIa to I) without any increases in strength or power, and thus should be minimized by those wishing to maximize speed and power.

Now, for those who really want to zero in on ultra fast twitch muscle conversion there is plenty of ammo out there to use.
First a little background.

Proficiency vs Efficiency

There is a big difference between increased proficiency and increased efficiency. As mentioned in the previous article, a IIB to IIA conversion is more efficient when it comes to meeting metabolic demands. So if the body can get the job done with IIA then it will. Therefore, if you want your body to increase IIB content you need to make sure that the adaptive signals you're sending deem it necessary.

As an athlete you stress your fast twitch fibers a lot. Therefore, your body already perceives that it's a funny car and you're trying to run it on the highway. If your body needs more efficiency what do you think it's gonna do? It's gonna try to find away to make the funny car either run at a low RPM or quit burning up so much gas!! It's gonna make your engine more efficient if it can. How does it do that? One way it does that is by making your fast twitch IIB muscle fibers more endurance oriented.
So how do you get around this and what exactly does send a signal for an increase in IIB?? Well, as mentioned in the earlier article, detraining or "sitting on your butt" is one. With detraining the muscular expression reverts back to its default "fight or flight" readiness. Yet another is hyperthyroidism or overeating.

Complete detraining is not much of an option because you lose more neural efficiency and muscle cross sectional size then can be made up for by any enhanced muscular subtype. Partial detraining and tapering may be an option and I'll get into that one in just a minute. But what about training? Well, if one were to analyze the IIB fiber and MHC IIX expression he could easily come to the conclusion that this fiber type is made for dealing with simultaneous high forces and high speeds.
Some studies show IIa fibers to produce equal force at low velocities compared with IIb, so a rep done under typical strength training conditions (loads only as high as the concentric 1 RM and low velocities) can be adequately handled by IIa. Maybe if the velocity component was increased, and force was maintained or increased, and performed at a volume low enough not to signal the need for more efficiency, we'd see an increase in IIB.

From here one could logically conclude that a training program incorporating movements with a premium on creating a lot of force at high velocities would preferentially induce more expression of these fibers (IIB). Thus far, there are a few studies that have looked at this and found this hypothesis to be true. Training methods that duplicate a lot of the tasks seen in gymnasts do exactly this.

Exercises That Increase IIB Expression

These include:
plyometrics utilizing loads, plyometrics, "drop and catch movements", jump squats, olympic lifts, drop jumps, depth jumps, speed squats, speed benches, Reactive squats, as well as most ballistic type activities in which either high speeds, and or supramaximal forces are employed.

The force from a "drop and catch" type movement utilizing loads, or a plyometric type movement, exceeds that which is created with weight training. More importantly, the velocity component and the speed that force must be created is much greater. Put into practice one could start from the top and perform a quick "drop and explode" in a chinup, dip, squat, or olympic lifting movement. The force created at the reversal from eccentric to concentric is great and must be applied extremely quickly or progress will not occur.
Another option would be to simply perform the drop and attempt to stabilize the load towards the bottom as quickly as possible. Yet another option would be to simply de-emphasize the lowering phase of a movement by letting the load come down fairly quickly yet still under control. From here you'd then concentrate on an explosive positive phase. Fred Hatfield stated he used to train like this when he set his world record squat of 1014 lbs. and said it made him 15% stronger.
Short duration heavy isometrics (<10 seconds) in the weakest joint angle of a movement may also be useful to create strength gains without causing negative fast to slow conversions but the jury is still out here. The one thing that should be avoided at all costs is any eccentric movement incorporating loads below 100% of 1rm done at low speeds such as done under typical bodybuilding protocols and/or normal regular paced repetitions. This type of training induces the type of damage that signals the exact adaptations we're trying to avoid. With the aforementioned "high force" methods if the body wants to increase the true "proficiency" of the movement it has no choice but to create a more effective and faster muscle to do it with.

Stimulate Don't Annihilate
There is one caveat with this training and that is it must be prescribed in a dose so as to induce better proficiency without inducing efficiency. In other words, you don't want to be sending any signals to the body that would cause it to think it has to create adaptations just to better deal with the "volume" of training you're throwing at it. You also wouldn't want to send a signal that the body is under a lot of stress or food shortage, thus dieting is a no no. The message you're sending needs to be loud and clear but "stimulating" not "annihilating". Whether you're creating the proper adaptations should be manifested in your results.

To illustrate, if you do highly intense plyometrics everyday you'll soon get to the point where you can do them practically all day without getting tired as your legs will "adapt" to handle the volume. You'll probably see an immediate VJ increase as you become accustomed yet over time the magnitude of performance that you can demonstrate, or the maximum height you jump, will either stagnate or be negatively effected as the body adapts to the excessive volume. Therefore, performance should take precedence over junk volume.

To better describe this think of a movement like the jump rope. Say the goal is to perform 6 consecutive 3 minute rounds. Initially there is a learning period as one learns how to swing the rope and how to coordinate the feet and arms etc. After this, the main limiting factor is the ability of the feet and lower legs to tolerate the lactic acid induced from the repetitive jumps. In someone who jump ropes chronically, (eg. 30 minutes 4-5 days per week), all things such as bodyweight and strength being equal, you will tend to see a decrease in maximal vertical jump as this adaptation sets in. The opposite is also true. Lower the volume down to 1 day of jump rope per week and you'll see an improvement in VJ as muscular efficiency lowers.

A Sample Cycle

If one wanted to put together a short mini-cycle strictly to focus on this one could set up something like this.
Guidelines:
fairly low volume - 2x per week per bodypart
progress at every session (If you're not improving then take an extra day of rest)
No lactic acid
No Cardio (dynamic warm-ups, easy gpp, walking, and very easy intervals are ok)
Eat at least enough to maintain bodyweight **(some fat loss will be ok but once you have to substantially restrict food intake as opposed to simply engaging in better eating habits you're gonna reach a point where you start to shoot yourself in the foot)
Get plenty of sleep
Rest Intervals should be fairly long (2-5 minutes)
All movements should be performed at relatively high velocities

My first 2 goals for Olympic weightlifting

Like I said in my previous post, I'm starting Olympic weightlifting on Monday.I'm currently weighing 280 pounds, so my first goal of Olympic weight lifting is to get down to 230 pounds so that I'll no longer have to compete in the super heavy weight division. I'd like to eventually get down to to 190 pounds so that I could compete in the 85k division (169-187 pounds). That means I have to lose 90 pounds. My body has always responded well to low carb diets, so that's what I'm doing. I'm in my 3rd day of low going low carb. So far so good.

Here are the men's weight classes of Olympic Weightlifting:
MEN
56 kg≤ 56.00kg 123.3 pounds
62 kg56.01kg – 62.00kg 123.22 pounds-136.4 pounds
69 kg62.01kg – 69.00kg 136.422 pounds-151.8 pounds
77 kg69.01kg – 77.00kg 151.822 pounds-169.4 pounds
85 kg77.01kg – 85.00kg 169.422 pounds-187 pounds
94 kg85.01kg – 94.00kg 187.002 pounds-206.8 pounds
105 kg94.01kg – 105.00kg 206.822 pounds-231 pounds
+105 kg≥ 105.01kg 231.002 pounds

November 07, 2013

starting Olympic weightlifting

After getting ran over while cycling a couple years ago I've decided cycling isn't worth the risk. It's amazing how a brain injury can change a persons views on what is important. So now I need to find a sport to replace triathlon. Since I can't afford CrossFit right now I've decided to attempt Olympic weightlifting. I'm starting Monday!

This weekend I'll be helping out with the 1st annual Buffalo Classic Olympic weightlifting competition, next year I'm going to compete in it! I'm very excited. This is the first step in a new goal. Hopefully I'll enjoy Olympic Weightlifting as much as I did triathlon.

MEN
56 kg≤ 56.00kg 123.3 pounds
62 kg56.01kg – 62.00kg 123.22 pounds-136.4 pounds
69 kg62.01kg – 69.00kg 136.422 pounds-151.8 pounds
77 kg69.01kg – 77.00kg 151.822 pounds-169.4 pounds
85 kg77.01kg – 85.00kg 169.422 pounds-187 pounds
94 kg85.01kg – 94.00kg 187.002 pounds-206.8 pounds
105 kg94.01kg – 105.00kg 206.822 pounds-231 pounds
+105 kg≥ 105.01kg 231.002 pounds

September 21, 2013

The 2013 Santa Fe triathlon race report

I decided to race the Santa Fe triathlon today. It was my 85th multisport race and this time it was crazy for me to attempt it. I haven't swam, bike, or ran in over 2 years. I'm also way to heavy to be running that far! Part of my motivation is that my 7 year old daughter started running in a running club at school. I'd like to run with her in the race she's training for, but in the shape I'm in now I doubt I'd be able to keep up with her. I'd end up missing the once in a lifetime opportunity of running across the finish line with her in her first race.

I knew I was going to suffer on the run. It was a 5k, and it hurt even worse than I thought it would. If it would of been any longer than a 5k I doubt I'd of been able to complete it. I finished the run in 32:21, averaging a 10:18 mile.

The bike was a lot less painful than I thought it would be. I also finished a lot faster than I thought I would. It was a 12 mile bike I finished in 51 minutes 30 seconds averaging 14 mph.

The swim was a 400 meter pool swim. I was the fastest Clydesdale in the swim today finishing in 8 minutes 57 seconds.

This was the 3rd time I've raced the Santa Fe triathlon, and this was by far and away the slowest I've ever finished. In 2009 I finished this race in 1:12:59 and in 2010 i finished it in a PR time of 1:08:48! Today I finished in 1 hour 38 minutes 20 seconds.

I'd highly suggest this race for anyone who is interested in triathlon. It a great race, well supported, well marked, moderately difficult course, music, massage therapists, an announcer saying your name as you cross the finish line. Excellent race experience every time!

September 20, 2013

The 2013 Santa Fe triathlon

I'm washing 2 years of dirt off of my road bike. I'll be competing in the Santa Fe triathlon tomorrow morning. It's only a sprint triathlon, but ANY triathlon will hurt since I haven't trained at all in two years. Tomorrow is a race to celebrate being impulsive and unprepared, but doing it anyways.

Tomorrow's triathlon will be my 85th multisport race. I'm still working to hit my goal of finishing 100 triathlons and duathlons someday. Back in my heyday I was averaging 16 multisport races, a half dozen running races, and a few centuries a year, so 15 shouldn't be that hard.

August 21, 2013

facebook and blogging

I used to have all my blog posts connected to my facebook account. It helped increase the amounts of hits my blog received. That used to be important because I used to be a sponsored athlete. My speed at triathlons and higher hit count on my blog made it easier to get sponsors. Now that I'm fat and slow so I'm not worried about sponsorship. What I'm most interested in now is for my blog to be a a place I can write about the training, diet, races, family, and God honestly without feeling the need to hold things back in my blog posts. I was especially sensitive to my high school friends seeing and reading how fat I am now. Now that my blog is no longer connected to my Facebook page I'll feel more comfortable writing honestly about the stuff in my life.

August 19, 2013

saffron extract

Todat I started taking saffron extract to help get rid of my hunger and lose weight. Yesterday I weighed in at 264, I'd like to get to 240 pounds by the Nutcracker triathlon held in early Dec 2013 in Rio Rancho New Mexico. 24 pounds in 15 weeks should be easy. But then again if food wasn't such a struggle for me I'd never have got up to 264 pounds.

August 18, 2013

Olympic weight lifting and CrossFit

My wife has been a full time student since 2007, and we have 3 kids. The 5 of us has been living off my income since then. I've been working a ton the last 6 years. Usually 70-90 hours a week. Recently overtime at the prison I work at has slowed down. It's been a blessing in disguise. Although its been difficult for the 5 of us to adjust our lifestyles enough to live off of my base pay, I'm glad this has happened because I'm burned out working so many hours. I want to be home more.

One of the things I've had to do to live on less money was cancel my CrossFit membership. That sucks because I've really fallen in love with CrossFit and the people I work out with.

I was training for my first olympic weight lifting at my CrossFit gym, so unfortunately I won't be competing in the September and November olympic weight lifting competition. Now that I've had to stop CrossFit and Olympic weight lifting I'm going to start training for triathlons again.

August 08, 2013

olympic weightlifting training

When I first started triathlon training back in 2003 I was the worst runner in the history of triathlon! I kept at until eventually I was a great runner.  This week is my first week of olympic weightlifting. So far I'm just as bad at olypic weight lifting as I used to be at running, perhaps worse. My first olympic weightlifting competition is on September 7th. It's not going to be pretty, but I'll have something to look back at to see how far I've come.

Today I did:
Mid hang snatch- 5X3 (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LyRPreXI7mo)

Halting snatch deadlift + finish (hip)- 5X3 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lMyC5AQ7ybo

back squat- 3X8

bench 3X5

While I was training at the corrections academy my wife sustained her first CrossFit injury. She dropped a 45 pound weight on her toe during warm up, and she still completed the WOD!

July 30, 2013

the void is filled

After almost 2 years of searching for something to fill the spot of triathlon I've finally found something I'm excited about. I'm going to try my hand at olympic weightlifting! My 1st event will be in Sept. The competition in September I'm doing just for fun. I wont be trying to throw around big weights or impress anyone. I'll just be trying to get some experience and have some fun. My 2nd olympic weightlifting competition will be held in early November. Not only will I be taking the 2nd event more seriously, I'm hoping to no longer be a super heavy weight. I need to weight 105 kilograms or less to no longer be a super heavy weight, which means I need to lose 32 pounds in just over 3 months. I started my diet yesterday.

Wish me luck!

July 05, 2013

gains and losses

Yesterday I went to the corrections academy gym with a buddy of mine. We maxed on our bench and squat. In the last 3 weeks I've added 20 pounds to my bench and 30 pounds to my squat! After the strength work we did a WOD. It was as many reps as possible in 16 min of:
1 min power cleans
1 min sit ups
1 min dips
1 min DB thrusters

I completed 178 reps. It was a good day.

July 04, 2013

vacation and never shaving again!

A few days ago my family and I got back from visiting my family in Lubbock Texas. We love it there. Once I retire from the state and my wife graduates from nursing school we are going to move there. We found our dream home in Lubbock at 6105 Knoxville Dr. Obviosly it will have sold by the time I retire (1 year 11 months from now), but we'll buy a house in the same neighborhood.  We had a great time. To good aparently. I came back weighing 261 pounds. My 20 year high school reunion in next summer. Time to get my fat butt on a diet. My goal is 200 lbs by my reunion.

I jioned the military at the age of 17, then became a manager at a pet shop, then started a career at the State Pennitentiary. I've had to stay clean shaven at each of those jobs. After years of having to stay clean shaven my dream has come true!!!! The NM State Pennitentiary has changed it's shaving policy!! We are allowed to grow beards and goatees now!!!! This is the results of me growing my beard for 3 days. I'm never shaving again!!!!

July 01, 2013

Buffalo Springs Lake triathlon 2013 new course recod and 2014 registration

I was here in Lubbock Texas the weekend of the BSLT 70.3 triathlon ( I didn't race). It was a perfect day for a triathlon. It was under 90 degrees, there was clouds in the sky blocking the sun, and there was no wind- the year I raced the BSLT it got close to 110 degrees! This was the 24th year of the BSLT and Gregg Bennett broke the course record with a screaming fast time of 3:48:58.

 
Next year will be the 25th year of the BSLT and they are having a special on the registration.


25th Anniversary Special: Enter for 2014 by July 3 for only $199!
We’re turning 25 in 2014! To kick off the anniversary celebrations, we are offering an exclusive 25th Anniversary Entry Special. Enter the password BSL25 to unlock the Early Bird Special category rate.
We know it’s a year out, but we also know it’s going to be one heck of a celebration! The 25thAnniversary experience will feature:
  • Unique Finisher Awards for every IRONMAN 70.3 finisher
  • The Golf Course Hill is back! The hill you love to hate is making a comeback.
  • 40 age group slots & 3 Hancycle slots to the 2014 IRONMAN 70.3 World Championship in Mont -Tremblant , 3 Handcycle slots to IRONMAN WORLD CHAMPIONSHIPS IN KONA, HI
  • 25th Anniversary Finisher Shirt
  • 25th Anniversary Participant Back PackCommit to 2014, and enter online for a great deal on an amazing IRONMAN 70.3 experience!

CrossFit box's in Lubbock Texas and a proper cool down

While visiting family here in Lubbock Texas I wanted to visit a CrossFit box. There were 7 to choose from:

Flatland CrossFit
CrossFit Throne
CrossFit Wild West
CrossFit Paladin
Capstone CrossFit
Compass CrossFit
Hubbcity CrossFit

I googled reviews for each CrossFit box. There was only 1 review for all 7 box’s, it was on Yelp. It was for CapStone CrossFit and it had an excellent review.

Next I called all 7 box’s and asked what the drop in policy and fees were.

-Hubbcity CF and Paladin CF didn't answer their phone, I left a couple messages with the questions I had but they never returned my calls.

-Flatland CF and CF Wild West was $15 for my wife, $15 for myself ($30 total) for the entire time I was visiting Lubbock, or the purchase of a shirt ($20).

-CF Throne was $20 per day per weekday visit, Saturdays workout was offered free. $80 for the 3 days for my wife and I.

-Capstone CF was $13 per day per person $78 for my wife and for all 3 days.

-And Compass CF said if I was a member of a box anywhere else in the world we could attend their box for free as long as I was visiting Lubbock.

We chose Compass CrossFit. My cousin Greg went with me the first day. Even though he wasn’t a member of a box anywhere else they still let him workout for free. The members were extremely friendly and welcoming, the workout was great, and the trainer (Tim) was friendly and informative. He took the time to explain the workout, the proper form of all the exercises before the workout began. He spent some extra time explaining things to my cousin since he was a CF virgin.


Compass CrossFit had a couple things I'd never seen before, their clock not only had a timer but also tracked the rounds completed. Post workout the gym members kept track of their workouts on wodify, I'd always tracked my workouts old school on a pad of paper. I like the idea of my WOD being recorded online where I can look at it anytime or compare previous workouts. I think once I get home I'm going to start an account with Wodify.

After the workout they had all of us do a cool down 400 meter jog. I've been wanting to start doing a cool down on my own post WOD. Instead of stopping completely from an intense aerobic or strength training session it is very important to slow down gradually for about 5 minutes or longer. Cooling down prevents venous pooling when coronary blood flow demand is very high. In other words the heart is a very a efficient pump, its great at pushing blood to the areas being worked out. But the heart can only push blood. Of course, if you've pumped blood up to the brain, gravity will bring it back to the heart. But what about the blood in your legs, how does it get back to the heart? Not so obvious, is it? It's almost a design flaw. There ought to be two extra sub-hearts, one in each foot, to return blood to the main heart. What happens instead is that the muscles act as mini hearts. Each time a muscle contracts it pushes blood out of it and into your veins. And here's why you need to "cooldown." If you've been out running or doing a WOD, a lot of blood has been directed down to your leg muscles to support your running. If you stop exercising and just stand there or decide to sit in a chair, the muscles stop contracting. The pooled blood just stagnates there and the blood volume available for the rest of your body reaches dangerously low levels. There are some people, myself included who believe that not cooling down sufficiently over time can damage the heart. So I need to start cooling down, I haven't been. And then in theory after my cool down I should stretch. I should, but I never stretch. Never will.

June 25, 2013

body weight matters in CrossFit

When I started training for triathlons I learned the best way to get fast is to lose weight. When I was overweight no matter how much and how hard I trained my fitness couldn't make up for the loss of speed because of the extra weight I carried. I've found out getting fat slows down a CrossFit athlete just as much. Not that long ago I'd gotten to the point that I was doing every WOD with the RX and finishing quickly. I was completing the WOD with a fast enough time that I was going to start adding more weight than the RX. But then I fell off the diet wagon and gained a crap load of weight. I'm was still working out consistently, but the weight gain has slowed me down much worse than I had imagined it could. I'm back to having to do each workout below the RX and finishing close to last every class. Dang it, body weight matters in CrossFit too.
 
"It is no disgrace to start all over. It is usually an opportunity. "George M. Adams

June 12, 2013

The 2013 Santa Fe triathlon

A few weeks after I came to grip with, and announced that I'm retiring from multisport the Santa Fe triathlon registration opened. The Santa Fe triathlon and the Atomic Man duathlon are two races I try to never miss. So even though I'm officially retired from triathlon I've registered and will be racing the Santa Fe triathlon on September 21st. Just call me Brett Favre....

June 11, 2013

not competing in the the Angel Fire ultra trail run and family stuff

I've been wanting to compete in the Angel Fire 50 kilometer trail run for a very long time. I signed up earlier this year expecting that the race would motivate me to start running again. It didn't. I doubt I've ran a total of 30 miles in the last 21 months and I'm tipping the scales at 250, so unfortunately I wont be running in the Angel Fire 50K. That's ok, the longer it takes me to earn an ultra endurance trail run belt buckle the more I'll appreciate it when I do.
On a more personal note, I hadn't heard from my natural father since I was 13. A while back I found him and we rekindled our relationship. For a little over a year everything was beyond perfect. He went camping with my family, called me multiple times a week, and visited every few months. He was the father I'd always wanted him to be. It was wonderful feeling accepted by a parent, that's not something I've had much of in my life. Then just as suddenly as the last time, he disappeared. He turned his back on me while I was going through a really hard time. The timing wasn't his fault, but it still made things much more difficult for me to deal with. In that same month I'd ended my relationship with my mother. She has borderline personality disorder. Severing ties with my Mom hurt deeply even though it was best for both of us. That same month I found out my step 1st (of 3) step Dad who raised me from the age of 2 to age 15 had died. He was an alcoholic and he and my Mom had a horribly abusive relationship, but he was a great father to me. For years I desperately wanted to find him and tell him how grateful I was for all he had done for me and taught me. To tell him at least one more time that I loved him. I never got that chance. I found out he died living alone and in poverty. The conditions he was living in the last years of his life horrified me, riddled me with guilt. Anyways, back to my natural father. I had called and sent letters with no response. After almost 6 months of not hearing from him, not knowing if he'd died or if I'd done something wrong he sent me a letter that said he couldn't be in contact with me because he was on vacation. A few months more of not hearing from him and I get another letter claiming he had high cholesterol and the only way for him to get the numbers down was if he cut me out of his life. I would have been OK if he decided not to be in my life and was honest about the reason, but him feeding me a line of bull shit made the whole situation hurt much more than it needed to. A few days ago, approximately a year and a half after he severed our relationship he sent me a fathers day card and in it he was honest about his reasoning. Reading that letter helped me heal a lot. He told me the truth, and that was what I needed to be able to find closure. I'm so grateful for his honesty. You might be asking what the heck that has to do with fitness and me getting back to an ideal body weight? I hold everything in, refusing to allow myself to feel. When the emotions become too overwhelming to hide from I numb the pain with food. I'm hoping now that I've found closure with my natural father I'll be able to start eating to live rather than living to eat.
 
Just in case your wondering, I don't regret having had the parents I did. The things I went through, the abuse and piss poor parenting I had was the catalyst that made me into the family man I am today. I'm a darn good Dad and a grateful husband. If it wasn't for what I had gone through as a kid I wouldn't fully appreciate the healthy relationship I have with my wife and the joy I find in my kids. It's as if I'm reliving the childhood through my family I wish I had experienced. Life is wonderful, I'm happier than I ever dreamed I could be.

June 10, 2013

post triathlon

To be able to stay active, eating healthy, and motivated I need to feel like I'm an athlete. Since I retired from multisport I feel like I've been a lazy fat bum. I didn't have an athletic goal to keep me dedicated. Since I wasn't motivated by any particular goal I have been eating like crap and not working out. I missed 3 weeks of CrossFit. I'm back up to 250 pounds. Damn it! This weekend my prayers were answered and I have found a goal that motivates me. My goal is to continue to build overall fitness and losing weight by doing CrossFit 5 days a week while working out on my own to get a 350 pound squat, a 275 pound bench press, and a body weight of 219 by my birthday on November 18th. My body builds strength fairly easily so I should be able to reach this goal somewhat easily, especially with the strength training plan BJ, the owner of Zia CrossFit, has designed for me. I'm excited to be back into athlete mode once again.

June 06, 2013

to race or not to race

I've spent a lot of time thinking weather or not I want to get back to hard core triathlon training. I assumed training for and racing at the duathlon national championships would give me the motivation I needed, it hasn't. I really have no desire what so ever to train for endurance athletics, I don't even enjoy racing anymore to be honest.  I might race an occasional local race for fun, but that's it. I'm retiring from competitive multisport. I'm going to focus on CrossFit for awhile. I really enjoy CrossFit. The workouts, environment, and people are awesome. The owners of Zia CrossFit have even taken the time to help me with my diet and a training plan to accomplish my goal of beating my natural fathers bench press PR. The only negative about CF I can think of is my fault. I need to fix my form on dead lifts. Every time I do them my lower back hurts for weeks. I did a max dead lift yesterday and I can barely stand up straight today.