Pictures online

Because of how fat i got I refused to let any of my friends or family take pictures of me. And when they did I made them promise not to post it online. I was so humiliated by how obese I had become. Since September I've lost 60 pounds. And last night I posted a picture of my son and I with our coach at the gym. This was the first time in almost a decade I posted a picture of myself on Facebook. 60 down. 48 more to go. This was me September of 2017.

This is me last night.

I'm finally not ashamed of how I look. I'm not humiliated of who I am. I'm starting to feel confident and happy again.

Benchmark Jackie and power snatches

This morning we tested power snatch and Jackie, which is 1000m row, 50 thrusters 44#, and 30 pull ups. I was able to do a 210lb power snatch and an 11:55 Jackie. Although I had to do ring pull-ups so it wasn't RX.

My first double unders and box jumps

A few days ago I signed up for the Crossfit open. Since then I purchased a good jump rope and have been practicing double unders. I can string together 10 at a time now. I couldn't do any double unders a week ago. I decided to practice them because The Open always has double unders. I'm ok with having to compete in the scaled division for things like handstand push-ups, pull-ups, and muscle ups. But having to compete in the scaled division for jump ropes or box jumps would have hurt my pride. Speaking of box jumps. I did my first box jumps today! 5 in a row. I couldn't do them before this. I was just to overweight. This morning I weighed in at 286lbs. I've lost 60lbs so far. I'm over half way to my goal! If I keep it up, at this rate I'll be at my goal by mid to late summer. I'm really excited to go to the New Mexico games this June weighing 100lbs less. None of my weightlifiting buddies have seen me since I've started loosing weight. I wonder, at 100lbs lighter if anyone will recognize me?

Bench, 500m row, and Annie

Today for testers Tuesday we tested Bench Press, 500 meter row, and Annie. Annie is 50, 40, 30, 20, 10 of double unders and ab mat sit ups.

On the bench I broke my lifetime best of 310lbs set in 2014 while weighing 330lbs. Today I weighed in at 288lbs and benched 330lbs.

I completed the 500m row in 1:42.

And I did Annie in 10:54. I can't do double unders yet so I did twice as many singles of 100, 80, 60, 40, & 20.

Supplemental training at Bear Canyon CrossFit

Today I was scheduled to do heavy back squats and some light recovery bench press. I wasn't able to train at my Powerlifting gym so I went Bear Canyon Crossfit. I was nervous about training Powerlifting there. I didn't want to get in the way, annoy any of the athletes training there, or piss off the owners and get banished. I got particularly antsy when I saw how many CrossFit'ers there were training. Apparently 3:30 and 4:30pm are peak times. There had to have been close to 30 athletes in there doing the WOD. The place was packed wall to wall. I guess Mark, one of the owners, saw how uncomfortable I was. So he helped me set up my squats on some blocks in a corner as far away from everyone else as possible. He went out of his way to let me know I was always welcome and should feel comfortable training anytime they're open. I think the owners, coaches, and fellow athletes see how out of my comfort zone I feel doing Crossfit and how different my body type is from the average CrossFit'er. And instead of judging me or excluding me they seem to really go out of their way to make me feel comfortable and welcome.

I ended up squatting 4x5 @ 340lbs relatively easily. I'd never felt that strong or confident squating that heavy before. I'm feeling great. Strong, fast, and light.

Bad reasons to quit CrossFit

I had almost quit CrossFit. There were a few reasons why. It wasn't until I ran and played with my kids this weekend that I realized quitting was a bad idea. I hadn't been able to run and play sports with my kids like that in years. I realize it's because CrossFit has gotten me in MUCH better shape incredibly quickly. After such a wonderful weekend with my kids I realized how stupid all my reasons to quit were. Here were my three big problems I had with CrossFit and the the honest answers to those problems.

1) I've never been as bad at a sport as I am at CrossFit.
Truth: I've found a weakness in my athletisism. The best athletes in the world don't avoid weaknesses. They fix them when they find them.

2) I want to be a great Powerlifter. I'm afraid CrossFit will prevent or limit that.
Truth: in moderation CrossFit won't inhibit my streangth gains at all. But CrossFit will absolutely prevent me from becoming an unathletic, fat, slow, and unhealthy Powerlifter.

3) CrossFit is expensive.
Truth: it's cheaper than massive health problems from not staying healthy and active. And more years alive in my kids life is priceless.

Now that I've come to these realizations I've decided not quit the CrossFit cult. And now I'm even thinking about getting my CrossFit level 1 coaching certificate. The CrossFit version of becoming a deacon at the local cult faction.

Max squat cleans and Karen

This morning in CrossFit we tested max squat cleans and the benchmark workout Karen.

I was able to max squat clean 265lbs. Which is only 10lbs less than my lifetime best. And I've lost 58lbs recently. So even though I'm a little weaker my Sinclair coefficient went up significantly. Up to a 221 now. I'm pleased about that.

Wall balls and thrusters are a huge weakness of mine. And Karen is 150 wall balls. The average time for Karen was 7-10 minutes. It took me 15:38. But I didn't mind. I was just excited to be able to get an RX time for one of the benchmark CrossFit workouts.

Running with my kids again

Today my kids and I were home all day together. It was wonderful. We finished building our rabbitry, played basketball, and played football. I was able to run out for passes, Chase them down on defense to prevent touchdowns, and be quick on my feet changing direction playing basketball. I couldn't do any of those things 3 months ago. Not only has the weight loss helped, but I've gotten in better shape. I didn't realize what a difference crossfit has made until today. The change was amazing. As bad as I wanted to quit CrossFit, after this weekend I won't. I'm so glad I can run and play with my kids again.

Competing when I suck

I'm at a pivital point with CrossFit. I'm trying to figure out if I'm going to quit or not. On one hand I know I need to do it because I'm in horrible shape. On the other hand I've never been this bad at a sport in my life. I've come in last place in the daily WODs all but a couple times. Not last in my heat, but last in the entire gym. Last out of all the times combined. I'm ok with being humbled. But I'm not so good at handling imbarrasment and humiliation. On Thursday I wasn't going to go unless the workout was a workout that had my strengths. It was. I didn't come in last place. 2nd to last. Doesn't sound that great. But to me, 2nd to last is huge. Last night I looked at today's workout. I wasn't going if it had a bunch of things I'm not good at. It was power snatches and pvc ab mat sit ups. I love sntaches. And I don't mind sit ups. I'm not great at them. But it's better than hand stand push-ups, ring dips, or pull-ups. So I showed up. And I didn't come in last today. I was 3rd from last. That's the best I've ever finished. Not dead last. I don't know if I'm doing better because I'm getting in better shape. If it's because I'm so much lighter. Or if others were milking it. I've lost 56 pounds so far. Moving faster is easier when you don't have to move as much weight. Well.... I guess if I'm making progress I should keep showing up. Tuesday is my next scheduled CrossFit day. And it's test Tuesday. I love test Tuesdays. I love a competition. Competition drives me. I don't like to loose. So on Tuesdays I usually do better than I usually could.

Avatar Nutrition and exsessive weight loss

After having not lost any weight for 3.5 weeks, I've lost 10 pounds in the last 10 days. I use a diet app called Avatar Nutrition. It adjusts my calories/macros to make sure I loose a set number of pounds each week. I was afraid that since I lost significantly more weight than I should have that the program was going to increase my calories an excessive amount. It didn't. It only raised it 100 calories. There seems to be some kind of fail safe on the program that prevents to large of increases or decreases of calories each week. The longer I'm using Avatar Nutrition the more I'm liking it. I've lost 54 pounds since September 5th. Another 50 pounds to go to reach my goal of the 242lb powerlifting weight class.

CrossFit revelation

I'd almost convinced myself to quit CrossFit. I was frustrated that i was slow and the workouts consistently had exercises I couldn't do. I blamed it on the exercises. I told myself the movements were only good for little guys. Today the WOD was perfect for me. 5 rounds of 15 calories on the bike and 15 sumo deadlift high pulls. Those are two of my strengths and I still struggled. I realized that the problem isn't what body types are best suited for CrossFit. The problem is CrossFit is hard cardio and I'm in bad shape. Quitting because the sport isn't best for a big guy like me makes sense. But quitting because I'm fat and out of shape doesn't.

maximum streangth block

On Monday I started a maximum streangth program, sets of 5 reps. No more hypertrophy, sets of 10 reps. In some ways I'll miss hypertrophy. I get pretty muscular during hypertrophy. And it's easy to loose weight too. But the big strength gains comes during the blocks of 5 reps. The next Powerlifting meet is in March. It's the USAPL Powerlifting state championships. My middle child will be competing with me also.

Weight loss jumps and plateaus

I loose weight oddly. On Friday I weighed 301lbs. Then  this morning I weighed 293 pounds. When loosing weight I'll plateau for weeks. And then in a two day period my body weight will drop 7-10 pounds. I've always done that. It's odd. But at least it's moving down.

I only have 18 more pounds to loose to get into the 275lb Powerlifting weight class. And I'm now over half way to  my ultimate goal of lifting in the 242 pound weight class. 53lbs lost, 51 more to go!!!!

I'd really like to show up to the New Mexico games at 242lbs. The last time my weightlifting buddies saw me I weighed in the 340's. It'd be great to show up having lost 100lbs. 

Start of a recovery week

Today was day 12 of my Powerlifting block. Tomorrow starts my first day of a recovery week. I'm looking forward to some rest and recovery . My body is tired. Today I had to use Spark to get through my workout. I haven't had to use Spark in almost two years. I've been training very hard the last 3 weeks. This is the first heavy hypertrophy program I've done in years. I'm not used to it yet. I'm getting great results though. After my recovery week I'll be starting a power building program of 5 reps.

The make up break up game

I quit CrossFit today. I didn't want to just disappear without saying goodbye to my favorite CrossFit coach. He sent me a message back that made me decide to stay with it. To keep trying even though I finish last every day. To keep attempting to loose all this damn fat, to get to a healthy body weight, and to get strong and fit instead of just strong. Coach Damion sent this message:


Brother, you work hard! Your numbers are fantastic and if you keep it up you'll be where you want. I know it's frustrating coming in at the bottom. I did it today. I messed my shoulder up again and I won't lie to you and say it's not depressing. Our bodies aren't young anymore and we have to work ten times harder than everyone else. Trust me, I want to quit every day. I joke that I'm the coach with the lowest self esteem. Tears of a clown I suppose, but I refuse to quit. I see you work your ass off brother. Believe it or not, it's members like you that keep me from quitting because you make me feel important. I'm here for anything you need brother. Keep coming!

Deadlift form and CrossFit technical exercises

I come from an Olympic weightlifting background. So I've always deadlift with a clean and jerk width on my feet and hands. Now that I'm exclusively a powerlifter I've decided to try moving my feet and hands significantly closer. So far it's working wonderfully. I'm lifting more weight and more reps. All aspects of Powerlifting training seems to be doing great right now. My body is definitely suited for this sport.

I played hooky from CrossFit again today. CrossFit is great cardio. I'm sure it'll help me loose weight and look better. But I'm frustrated with some of the CrossFit exercises. Only small people can do them fast or well. Things like handstand push-ups, muscle ups, etc. Even if I loose a ton of weight and get super lean I'll still be 235-255 pounds and I'll probably never be able to do a lot of the CrossFit gymnastics exercises well or efficiently. I'm not sure if I want to stick with a sport that I'll never be anything more than below average at. I'm torn weather to stick with CrossFit or go back to track sprinting for my cardio.

Powerlifting knee wraps and CrossFit

At my last powerlifting meet I competed in the classic division. That means I could use powerlifting knee wraps. I've never used knee wraps, so I didn't compete with them. If I'd have used them I could have lifted somewhere around 50lbs more on both the squat and deadlift. I asked my coach to start adding an occasional set using the wraps to get used to using them. He agreed. Knee wraps.... I guess I'm a real powerlifter now...

I've been getting frustrated with CrossFit. In CrossFit they do a lot of technical exercises that i can't do. Hell, I've never been able to do them even when I was in the best shape of my life. Things like handstand push-ups, double unders, rope climbing, multiple sets of 20 pull ups. I've become frustrated enough that I've only gone to CrossFit once in the last week.