June 06, 2012

weight, triathlon, diet, Saffron Extract Satiereal, and a change of mind

Below the links is my post. The links are my trial and posts about Saffron Extract Satiereal:
June 24th 2012http://cody-the-clydsdale.blogspot.com/2012/06/running-on-broken-toe-saffron-extract.html

June 7th 2012 http://cody-the-clydsdale.blogspot.com/2012/06/saffron-extract-satiereal-appetite.html

June 6th http://cody-the-clydsdale.blogspot.com/2012/06/weight-triathlon-diet-and-change-of.html

Last month I'd said that I'd start writing on my blog about my struggles with food. At first when I decided to write openly about my weight and food issues I felt great. I felt like I was getting years of junk off my shoulders , and the possibility of helping others who struggle with their weight like I do was even better. But I've decided I'm not going to post on my blog that I struggle with an eating disorder very often anymore. My skin just isn't thick enough. Many of the comments I received were well meaning, but they hurt my feelings.

One well meaning fellow told me when I succumb to my over eating I am sinning against God, that I was an adulterer, and an idolater. He said if I continued to fall off the wagon and overeat then my sin was the same as a homosexual who succumbed to his desires, and that if I continued to overeat I should question if I had truly accepted Christ into my heart. Ultimately I agree with what he said about sin, but the delivery was totally unacceptable. As a more mature christian he should have attempted to lead by the biblical model, like Jesus did, by teaching with love in his heart. I believe a much better approach would have been to say my overeating is a sin, Jesus loves sinners, and that there's healing through Jesus. At that point he could have gently and kinly explained how that was possible through Jesus Christ. But I feel instead he was trying to make me feel bad enough about myself and my sin that I may be led to turn to Christ out of guilt or fear. But for me the opposite is true. I love Jesus so much that my love for Him motivates me to repent of my sins.

This well meaning fellow also advised me that there is no such thing as addictions, the struggles I'm faced with are caused by my heart being filled with sin. So in that case I'll attempt not to use the phrase addiction anymore, I'll call it what it always has been, an eating disorder.

From now on I'll be more than happy to help anyone who struggles with their weight, or their relationship with food. Simply email me and I'll jump to offer all the assistance I can muster, but I wont be writing about my eating disorder very often on my blog anymore, it's not worth the heart ache.

Thanks to me gaining 20 pounds earlier this year I'm not gaining speed from my training as quickly as I had the last time I was training for sprint distance triathlons. And thanks to me dieting to drop the the extra weight I'd packed on I'm not recovering as quickly as I normally do. My legs are constantly tight, sore, and I feel fatigued. I'd still be healing quickly enough to be responding well from my training if I was dieting moderately, but I'm attempting to drop 3 pounds a week. That means cutting out 1,500 calories a day from my diet. I've been miserable with hunger every second of the day since dropping to this low of calories, so I ordered some Saffron Extract Satiereal. I heard about Saffron Extract Satiereal on the Dr Ozz show, it's a hunger suppressant that has no stimulants in it. I know that it's stupid to use hunger suppressants, especially while training as hard as I am now. I've never used any pills like this before, I just want to get back down to my dream weight of 179. After being attacked from my posts on my eating disorder, and because of the suddenness and severity of the crappy feelings that was a result of them, I just want a quick victory to lift my spirits. My desires to feel happier and me justifying my actions doesn't mean it's ok, I know it's a bad decision, but it's my consequences to suffer. I'm currently weighing in at 189, I have 10 pounds to lose. With the use of the Saffron Extract Satiereal pills 10 pounds of weight loss should take me 24 days. I've always been honest here on my blog. I'd prefer this not to become a debate and I'd prefer to not end up reading some more well meaning but ultimately hurtful comments. If you have any feeling on this matter, kindly keep them to yourselves, I don't think I can handle anymore "loving guidance" for awhile.


Anonymous said...

I will not comment on any weight issues. You are an adult and perfectly entitled to handle your body however you wish.

I do have to say something else, however. If someone said the sun didn't rise every day, would you believe it because they left it as a comment on your blog? When it comes to blog comments you have to separate the wheat from the chaff. Some just need to be ignored.

It really bothers me to see you take some truly ignorant comments to heart. I won't even go into refuting the particulars of this commenter you referred to except to say I believe in a loving God. He knows we are not perfect.

We all have struggles, probably due to a combination of genetics and environment in the case of eating disorders. When we fight, when we strive to do better, we are honoring God. It is not how many times you fall, it is how many times you rise that is important. He knows this.

Stop beating yourself up and forgive yourself. God does, and that's what he wants you to do as well. No human is perfect. Honor Him by living the best life you can every day and by treating your fellow man with kindness and love.

From a fellow triathlete

DonnerTraining said...

I just found your blog today. I am a triathlete but also struggle with an eating disorder. This eating disorder prevents me from achieving the goals I have for myself,which i know I am fully capable of doing. I have binge-restrict many times through out my life. I am a forward thinker and a strong believer of Christ. God knows we're trying our best. God doesn't like to see us hurt ourselves, stuff food down our throats with a bag of emotions attached to it. God will not disown us. He knows we're not perfect. But He expects us to keep trying, to keep praying, and to get better.

Try not lot let other people's comments get to you. You are your own person, no one really "knows" you and your own private struggle with food and weight. Be good to yourself. Thanks for the blog! I am a new follower!